Dearest GreatauntLinda,
Wish I could reach out and give you a great big sisterly hug. Sisterly because I have also been through this and as the writer Pat Barker said in the Guardian this weekend, this particular grief 'strips the flesh off your bones and that's the truth of it.'
There's no preparing for it and there's no quick fix either. Would you really want one when we're talking of the man who was the love of your life for over forty years (and still is)? You have to take baby steps and not expect too much of yourself in these early months. Accept whatever help you are given, food or outings, try not to get too upset at people's occasional ill judged but well-meant comments. Meeting or emailing other people in the same situation can be helpful. I spent many months with an online support group reached through merrywidow.me.uk. and have made one or two good friends in that way. I also tried various hobbies, the list of ones I tried but didn't get on with is quite long and funny but a couple have 'stuck'. Try also to note and take pleasure in happy little daily moments, a bird on the feeder, a TV programme or series(dear old David Attenborough was one of my 'saviours'), a glass of wine, a posh bubble bath. None of these make your situation all right but they do distract you for a while to enable your poor old heart to not be so heavily squeezed. I would also advise you to try to be a good friend to your friends. Try to keep your best smile pasted on as much as possible. 'Fake it till you make it' was my motto and it more or less worked.
Bit by bit things do get better. We are stronger than we think. A good book to read is Kate Boydell's Grief and how to Survive, about the death of your partner. (Apologies if I've got the title slightly wrong, I've given my copy away).
It's been seven years for me now and I have a happy life. I still miss my husband (another Bob) very much but am no longer plagued by that heart-searing grief.
Sorry this is a long reply. I wish you strength and ,impossible as it may seem today, happiness. xx