Good evening all,
My apologies firstly as my post probably belongs in the Bereavement section of the forum, but I do have a question that is all in honesty tearing me up inside.
My Grandma passed away last week suddenly and unexpectedly. As difficult as it is to say it was in some ways a blessing, as for the past few years she had been suffering from dementia; which in comparison to her glamorous and proud former self, had left her undignified and with little quality of life. She had also become mute and although she was still physically able and active, I don't know how much she could comprehend.
We were very close in the first 10 years or so of my life. She was in many ways my main carer; she would take me on holiday and I saw her almost everyday. I did see her and my Grandad less regularly during my teens but they were never far away.
In the first couple of years after my Grandad's death, I would go round 2-3 times a week to see her as I was the only local family. But as her dementia progressed, I started to find her difficult to deal with alone and saw her only 1-2 times a week. With her own welfare in mind, it was decided by other members of the family that she should be moved into a care home (100 odd miles from me). Every opportunity I had to go up and see her with another relative I took, and every time I would kiss her goodbye and whisper that I loved her even though - especially later on - I didn't really get any acknowledgement.
Now that she has died, the thing I am finding most difficult to deal with is the thought that she might not have known just how much I loved, thought, cared about and appreciated everything she did for me; either because I didn't explicitly say it or did enough to show it.
So my question really is whether, as grandparents, you know that the strength of the love you have for your grandchildren is reciprocated unconditionally?
Thank you for reading and taking the time to respond.
K
I deserve a round of applause!