Today, 1 December, is World AIDS Day. As Terrence Higgins Trust asks people all over the world to wear the red ribbon and unite in the fight against HIV, we hear from Annmarie Byrne. She describes being diagnosed as HIV positive, and the subsequent stigmatisation she has faced ever since.
Stop the stigma.
I am a white middle aged, middle-class grandmother of 67. 19 years ago my beloved husband, a funny, charming Irish man, died of AIDS and I was diagnosed as having the HIV virus at the same time.
After my husband died, I thought that was going to be my fate as well. I moved from Zimbabwe, where we lived, to the UK with my youngest child, as I had heard about the new drugs that were available and I hoped that I would be able to stay alive long enough to see my son through school if I could access them. My boy is now a husband and father and I am still here. But little did I know then, that although I moved away from my family, friends and network of support, the stigma so rife in my country was just as apparent here, in my adopted country.
This is what I wrote recently for Terrence Higgins Trust, for this World AIDS Day. It is as real now as it was then:
"Women are sometimes forgotten when we speak or write about HIV. We are considered to be a lower risk group than say gay men, and yet as women we are stigmatised as much if not more, as the media often portray us as 'promiscuous' and deserving of contracting this virus...social media particularly use words like 'karma' and speak of 'this disgusting disease'."
The media and social media talks of 'innocent victims' (children and people contracting the virus through needle stick injuries) as though the rest of us are some how guilty of something, and they talk of 'this self inflicted disease'. For women battling with a long term condition, the stigma surrounding this condition is often as bad or in some cases, worse, that the condition itself, which these days is often controlled by antiretroviral drugs.
I have had AIDS graffiti painted on the walls of my flat, my son has been surrounded by youths who told him his mother is a diseased old cow...all because I am living with this virus and have chosen to speak out publicly to try to change people's perceptions...
Many of us, like myself, have moved away from everything that is familiar to us, where sometimes the only thing familiar to us is the language, away from our support networks, to countries were we are stigmatised and vilified for having a virus, which is all that HIV is, not a moral judgement. We are told that things have got better and HIV is no longer any worse than say diabetes. I ask, when is the last time a person living with diabetes went to a doctor to be told 'don't worry, diabetes is no worse than living with HIV'? And until that happens, it isn't a level playing field.
If I was standing up saying I had breast cancer, I would expect (and receive) all the love and support in the world for myself and for my children. It isn't always like that for women living with HIV, many of whom are the most marginalised people in this country, struggling to raise their families and live good and positive lives. HIV is not just a medical condition, it is a social and economic condition as well.
I am a widow, a mother, a grandmother, a sister, a friend and I am also a woman living with HIV. I have had AIDS graffiti painted on the walls of my flat, my son has been surrounded by youths who told him his mother is a diseased old cow...all because I am living with this virus and have chosen to speak out publicly to try to change people's perceptions of HIV and to make a difference for the tens of thousands of women in the UK like myself who cannot speak out for fear of being ostracised by their families and communities.
On World AIDS Day it is commendable when people wear the red ribbon to commemorate us and those we have lost, but this virus doesn't just affect us on 1 December. We live with the stigma every day of our lives, and it is wrong. That is why I speak out and I hope that in some small way, I make a difference.
HIV affects us all, every day, every year, so please show your support and Stop the Stigma!
For more information on World AIDS Day or Terrence Higgins Trust, please visit the website.
By Annmarie Byrne
Twitter: @THTorgUK
Thank you for sharing this Annmarie.
I confess I wasn't aware of the stigma you and others face because as you say, in this day and age there's drugs to help manage the disease. I hope you can take some hope from knowing there's many more people who will not stigmatise people with AIDS. Now that I am aware of the stigma, I will watch out and challenge any prejudice I see. Stay strong. 
Tegan I looked it up and it is Prince John, the youngest son of King George V. 
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