As the mother of a single mum to our gorgeous DGD and realising that good, well-placed, step-dad material seems thin on the ground, I was sad to hear the news last year that James Middleton has tired of his girlfriend, Donna Air, single mum to daughter Freya, presumably because added to the baggage of a child she's just not posh enough. (Even though Freya’s dad is an Aspinall whose family is probably slightly better connected than the Middletons). Never mind, Donna who needs the arrogant scion of a jumped up working class family who suddenly believe that because their daughter has netted a Prince of the Realm they're upper class? They so are NOT! One of their ancestors was a coal miner for goodness sake. Of course if James and Donna had married her daughter would have been Prince George and Princess Charlotte’s step-cousin.
This got me thinking about an imaginary conversation between Prince George and his mummy at nursery breakfast time.
Prince George: "Mummy, please may one pass the conserve made with fresh strawberries from Granddad Charles' Highgrove garden for one's toast, there's a dear old thing?"
Princess Catherine: "Eh up Georgie love, wouldn't you prefer some yummy marmite - it's Grandma Carole's favourite."
P.G: "Oh no mummy, that's so common, I couldn't possibly eat that awful stuff."
P.C. "Nay, don't you get all la di da wi me son. We don't want ye putttin' on too many airs an graces".
P.G. "But mummy, I'm the future King of England, after you and papa have had a go of course."
P.C. " Yes, an by th' time that appens son, we'll have dumbed down the Royal family so everyone's like your Uncle Jimmy and Auntie Pippa - loads a dosh but not much between the ears. Now eat up your brekkie and start practising your Cockney rhyming slang, apples an pears - stairs; frog an toad - road - there's a canny lad eh up."
Elderly fellow gran has become loudly racist