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Out to lunch!

(43 Posts)
rosesarered Sat 29-Aug-15 17:15:23

Went out for a pub lunch today, to recover from 24 hours with DGS.Lunch very nice, and while we were having a drink and waiting for food we noticed a black overhead beam now had a 'saying' painted on it in a flowery script, it said 'if you see a man opening the car door for his wife,it's either a new car, or a new wife'. We then debated on had we ever seen this happen ( leaving aside any disabled/really elderly women.)we then debated if I would like it to happen ( no) and what women wish for by way of courtesy.eg, pulling out a chair for them to be seated, taking their coat, ushering them into a room before them etc. Is there anything that you feel miffed by/ would prefer, regarding this kind of thing?

whitewave Sat 29-Aug-15 17:24:17

Chap across the road always opens the car door for his wife, both getting in and out.

absentgrandma Sat 29-Aug-15 17:32:18

She wouldn't be called Hyacinth Bucket by any chance, would she ww?

whitewave Sat 29-Aug-15 17:35:59

No they are a tiny little elderly couple. Pull their curtains every afternoon by 4pm winter and summer alike. Not that I am nosy or anything!

baubles Sat 29-Aug-15 17:36:38

Before remote locking I always unlocked and opened the passenger door for a companion of either sex rather than leave them standing while I got into the car. I don't do it now except for elderly people or anyone who needs help.

jinglbellsfrocks Sat 29-Aug-15 17:37:04

Perhaps she has short arms. I have to practically get out of daughter's car to close the door.

Ana Sat 29-Aug-15 17:37:30

I don't think I've ever had a chair pulled out for me (except possibly by a waiter), and the car door thing is rather old-fashioned, but I do prefer the man to walk on the kerb side of the pavement if they're with me!

What I hate is to be ushered into a room first!

jinglbellsfrocks Sat 29-Aug-15 17:39:15

A gentleman should always go into a room first, but I don't think anyone these days still know the old rules of etiquette.

Ana Sat 29-Aug-15 17:43:54

Oh, I thought it was the other way round jingl, but your way makes much more sense! There could be all sorts of riff-raff in that room...grin

Elegran Sat 29-Aug-15 17:57:55

It is interesting how many men will stand "politely" back to allow their women-folk to precede them off a bus and take the high step down onto the curb. In this case a man should be going first.

And the same "polite" men let the women go first down the rather steep bus stairs while it is still moving erratically and jerking to a stop - with their (generally) longer legs they can negotiate a steep step better, and should really be below to give them something to land on if a jerky stop sends them off their balance.

Equality if a fine thing, but shorter arms and legs and less powerful muscles (for whatever reason - gender or age) do sometimes need consideration.

Greyduster Sat 29-Aug-15 18:06:16

I don't think any of it is old fashioned. DH helps me on with my coat and has never gone into a room before me, or any lady in our company, when we have been out. He doesn't hold the car door, but he does pull my chair out for me to sit down when we are eating out (our friend does the same for his wife - must be a hangover from dining in the Mess, when such things were absolutely expected!).

Ana Sat 29-Aug-15 18:07:45

But apparently a gentleman should always precede a lady into a room, Greyduster!

whitewave Sat 29-Aug-15 18:09:15

One thing DH and son have always done is to stand when a female enters the room for the first time I.e.visitors not me grin

Greyduster Sat 29-Aug-15 18:41:02

Don't doubt your word, but I have never heard that one Ana. If we are entering a room and there are doors to be opened, they are held open for me to enter. If there is a mad axeman waiting on the other side that's my tough luck! So far,so good!

Ana Sat 29-Aug-15 18:43:52

Well, that's what I thought, but I believed what jingl said...

Hmm, will have to check this out!

downtoearth Sat 29-Aug-15 18:51:19

my OH is such a gent ,,,he always opens the doors for me to carry out the rubbish...grin

Ana Sat 29-Aug-15 18:54:09

Oh, bless him! I expect he always opens the boot of the car for you to lug the weekly shopping into the house as well...grin

rosesarered Sat 29-Aug-15 19:02:02

grin

rosesarered Sat 29-Aug-15 19:04:13

Mr Roses always goes into places first, and holds the door for me with his left hand, thus keeping his sword arm free( so he tells me) for any ruffians on the other side!

rosesarered Sat 29-Aug-15 19:06:37

I really don't know which way is correct though? maybe in strange places( and some village pubs here are really strange) this is correct, and in all known ( safe places) it's correct to allow the woman( laydee) through first?

kittylester Sat 29-Aug-15 22:01:02

I think men should enter a room first to check it is safe for a woman/lady to go into!

Ana Sat 29-Aug-15 22:12:40

So do I - it seems very ungallant to shove the laydee in first and hide behind her if it's all kicking off in there...grin

ninathenana Sat 29-Aug-15 22:28:33

My brother opens the car door for his SO. I would think he does all the other things mentioned here.
DH doesn't open the car for me as I'm the driver and therefore the one with the keys smile He does hold the door for me to enter a room first. I can see the logic in the man going first but I've always thought it should be ladies first.

Maggiemaybe Sat 29-Aug-15 22:48:06

How's about striding into a room first and letting the door swing shut in your wife's face? I suppose that could be seen as protecting the delicate blossom from the riff-raff within?

I'm not speaking from personal experience, of course! wink

rosesarered Sun 30-Aug-15 17:24:45

It would be a pretty awful DH to do that though Maggie?