stop the sag

As I have spent most of my life with practically no bosoms (apart from the joyous moment of waking up a couple of days after each of the boys were born, to find that the boob fairy had been in the night, and no longer did my arm just fall to my side as I rolled over ), I have for some years been utterly convinced that my buttocks are hell bent on introducing themselves to the backs of my knees.

Unfortunately it seems to be more of a problem for those who are slim. I have some excess weight, so things have not decended too much. I also exercise, so the muscles are firm beneath the blubber! If you are underweight, putting on a few pounds or a bit of muscle might not do you any harm, but increase your confidence. Remember the old days of pec, squeezes to the chant 'I must I must improve my bust'?

Do you remember this Shysal

I know someone called Mark Eden

Off thread alert.... sorry about that, but the Mark Eden boob-enhancing ad. reminded me of the 'sauna pants' adverts which were around at about
the same time. I've tried to post a link to the advert, but my iPad don't wanna do it. They were farcical, inflatable and supposed to knock 9 inches off your thighs . And yes, dear friends.... I fell for it!
After several hours of inflating, and doing housework like a good Stepford Wife as per the instructions (well they didn't mention the Stepford bit as I don't think the movie had been made then) the result was a lot of weird plastic squeaking,sweaty thighs and not a millimetre off the thighs. Thank God the OH was at work! somehow I managed to squeeze them back into the box they came in (reminiscent of Del and Rodney Trotter with the inflatable dolls), and return them. Amazingly I got my money back , and thankfully the OH never found out, or I'd never have heard the end of it.

I found a birthday card describing this.... It's called "furniture disease' your chest falls into your drawers!

I'd forgotten all about those thigh things absentgrandma

I remember that Mark Eden bust developer, and reading down that link he/they also made Vacu-Pants, which is possibly what you tried absentgrandma

I can remember the day I was brushing my teeth vigorously and felt something fleetingly touch the back of my thigh. It was my buttock

coolgran

Having never been anywhere near what I would call 'slim' I try to convince myself that I'm reasonably well fit and well-rounded (physically at least!)
Hopefully I won't get osteoporotic and so long as I take off my glasses when I look in the mirror, then I think I look relatively ok for my age....

My grandmother used to say that when a woman reaches a certain age, she needs a bit of weight about her. Well, I took her advice. Any flag that accompanies it I am trying to ignore. That's all I'm saying!

Flab (silly hudl)

Why should a woman of a 'certain age' need a bit of weight around her?

It's just a fallacy put about by 'fat bottomed girls'

I think it's probably a variation of my friend's mantra about the certain age, Anya - "You widen or you wizen".

Some time ago my neck slid onto my chest like cold custard when it then dried up and now looks like an old leather handbag (too much sun on the golf course) no you are not alone!

Our Zumba teacher said this morning as we were all gyrating to a Bollybhangra tune, 'Don't worry about your wobbly bits! They're meant to wobble!'

Having been underweight all my life, I am wondering where the tummy came from all of a sudden! And it seems to be inflating

Add that to the surprising sprouting of hairs on my chin......

No solution for you fleegle but you aren't alone!

I's the bubble wrap celulite thigh contours that embarrass me. The collagen has evidently failed. One of my sons says under his breath, " Put 'em away Mrs." When he spots crones exposing their breasts in low- cut dresses, and I have to agree. Unless you're Helen Mirren, who hasn't had her body wrecked by child- bearing, you can't do old AND sexy. It's sad, but only if you think your beautiful body is your only stock on trade. I enjoy making people laugh, when I get the chance, and value their response more than I would one of admiration ( probably tinged with envy) for my body.

Do you really think Helen Mirren can do 'old and sexy' Jaxie?

Is it just me who finds the advert where, dressed in a black leather jacket she ogles a young man, cringe-worthy?

I'm not sure anyone can do old and sexy, Anya.
Old and stylish, yes, old and elegant, certainly.
I'm not sure I ever wanted to look sexy anyway.

I was happy as long as my bum didn't look too big in whatever I had on

Totally agree JaneA

I'd even add old and eccentric!

As long as that doesn't extend to wearing purple with a red hat...

The Red Hat Society sounds great fun. An international movement dedicated to growing old playfully. We sat on a double decker bus on the Isle of Wight and watched members of one of the four "chapters" on the island gathering for some event. I thought I was seeing things as more and more women in flamboyant red hats and purple outfits appeared until I remembered the poem. Google British Red Hatters.