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Have you ever..contacted an old school friend?

(70 Posts)
Nandalot Sat 20-Aug-16 11:49:32

By chance I found on the Internet details of someone i was at school with for the first three years of secondary school. We were quite close then before my family moved. We are both mid sixties now and while she has had a very successful career and is highly respected in her field I have led a comparatively safe and stable life. It is silly I know, but I hesitate to contact her. Would I be silly to do it at this stage in our lives? Has anyone else been in this position. What would you do?

harrigran Sat 20-Aug-16 11:56:59

I saw a newspaper article about an art exhibition in my town and realised I had gone to school with the artist. I read further and discovered she had lived in New York for the last 40+ years and was also a make up artist for big dress designers' fashion shows. I wanted to see the exhibition but decided against approaching the artist, our lives were totally different.

Swanny Sat 20-Aug-16 11:59:54

Maybe an email mentioning your past connection and congratulating her on her achievements. Don't mention what you've been doing at this point, wait to see if she's interested and responds.

tanith Sat 20-Aug-16 12:13:44

I contacted an old school friend on Friends Reunited before it was ended , we exchanged catch up messages but that was it we had no other contact. No harm in emailing her she either answers or not.

Liz46 Sat 20-Aug-16 12:25:30

I did contact an old school friend once and we met up for a coffee. We had nothing in common any more so it was a bit of a failure.

Greyduster Sat 20-Aug-16 12:38:06

I was very good friends with a girl at school who, I discovered by chance, lived around the corner from our last house. We were delighted to see each other and arranged to have dinner together. It was nice to catch up, but we no longer had a lot in common. She had divorced her husband and travelled a lot - trekking in Nepal, Inca Trail, that sort of thing. I was hard pressed to find the time to walk up Kinder Scout at that time! We had a nice evening and never saw each other again. I tried a couple of years ago to get in touch with an old Army friend, but have not been able to. I think she may live in New Zealand now. I would dearly love to see her again.

jusnoneed Sat 20-Aug-16 12:40:35

Over the last couple of years I have been in touch with a number of old childhood friends via a Facebook group for Glastonbury. Most I haven't seen or heard of since our junior school days, we keep in touch via the group but I wouldn't expect to meet any of them - as you say most have gone on to lead totally different lives.
I do still meet two of my longest term friends, again from junior school times, but we always spent a lot of time together at school and after. We all live in different places now but try to meet a couple times a year - the last time a couple weeks ago midway during our 60th birthdays!

ninathenana Sat 20-Aug-16 12:49:27

What swanny said

Gagagran Sat 20-Aug-16 13:29:27

I found and contacted an old High School friend on-line and we have had a few subsequent phone conversations.We were very close from 11 to 13 years old and spent a lot of time together both in and out of school. I last saw her in 1960 when she came to stay at my parents house for a weekend. Then we lost touch.

She is quite keen to meet up but my curiosity has been satisfied about where she had ended up and what her life had been like and I really want to leave it there. Not sure how I can say that to her - it sounds uncaring and it was me that found her so I would feel guilty. Maybe we should just leave friendships from the past right there! confused

Pittcity Sat 20-Aug-16 13:36:48

I have been in contact with several school friends since Friends Reunited and now Facebook. Some of us have met up and although we have led different lives still have much in commmon. Some of our classmates have gone on to become professors and such, these are the ones that we have Googled but they do not join in our chit chat.

Indinana Sat 20-Aug-16 13:41:26

I did contact an old friend from my childhood - she lived next door to me and we were in the same class at junior school. About 14 years ago I realised I would be in the area and contacted her in advance and arranged to meet up. It was nice to catch up and we spent a lovely couple of days together, but the email exchange afterwards fairly soon tapered off to nothing - I think we both realised our lives had moved too far apart and there was no common ground.
It made me realise then that if the childhood friendship was meant to be deep and lasting we would never have lost touch in the first place. So these days no, I don't try to contact old friends. As Gagagran says, perhaps friendships from the past should stay in the past. The memories are lovely, why risk spoiling them?

sunseeker Sat 20-Aug-16 14:18:32

I met up with an old schoolfriend 15 years ago. We have since been on holiday together several times, meet regularly for coffee and people say we are like teenagers when we are together. Now we are both widows and we value our friendship more now than we did when we were younger.

hildajenniJ Sat 20-Aug-16 14:34:05

I found an old school friend by way of a Facebook friend. My friend was in conversation with her friend and a name was mentioned which was my old school friend's maiden name. I asked if they were related and it turned out that she was my friend's sister-in-law. I asked her to contact my friend and ask if she wanted to be reacquainted. We haven't met up yet but have had several long conversations via messenger. We plan to meet up for coffee and a really good catch up very soon.

TerriBull Sat 20-Aug-16 14:41:38

Yes all the time, long enduring friendships 50 or so years old. We were all at senior school together but two were also from junior/infant school. Two live about 70 miles away and we meet up at least once annually, but text and speak on the phone. One of the further away ones comes to stay for long week-ends with her husband in the summer. Another of the three lives about 15 or so miles away and we meet maybe monthly for a lunch date.

NanKate Sat 20-Aug-16 14:51:58

Via the sister of an old school friend I wrote her what I thought was a friendly newsy letter 50 years since last seeing her. She never replied and a I know she received my letter, I was so hurt. So for me it might have been better to be left with my memories.

gettingonabit Sat 20-Aug-16 15:16:03

An old friend organised a school reunion a while back. I didn't want to go, being a bit of a miserable old git shy, but I'm so glad I went.

The years just fell away.

We see each other regularly now. Many haven't moved away from our birthplace, so relatively easy.

Marmight Sat 20-Aug-16 15:19:07

About 10 of us had a reunion 14 years ago, 35 years after we had left school. It was a very strange experience; like meeting strangers who reminded you vaguely of someone.It was a fun day but has never been repeated. I think we had all changed so much from the awkward 17 year olds we had been. We had all gone our separate and diverse ways and once we had exchanged family/work details and laughed about our school days, there wasn't much in common to talk about.... I have always kept in touch with a couple of them but have no desire to meet any of them again. hmm

numberplease Sat 20-Aug-16 18:35:20

I found an old school friend on Friends Reunited. We hadn`t seen each other since she moved to Hong Kong, in 1965, then New Zealand, before ending up in Australia, but after a few years we lost touch. We started off with polite emails, then an exchange of photos, and since then she`s phoned me twice, and we had lovely natters. But although she knows my address, she`s never offered me hers, but has told me the general area where she lives.

J52 Sat 20-Aug-16 18:44:00

I went to a school reunion when we were all in our 50th year, apart from the past memories, few of us had anything in common. I have also met up with a couple of friends, one a really close friend, in the past. But our lives have taken diverse paths, so as someone said ' best left in the past'.

BlueBelle Sat 20-Aug-16 18:59:33

I have caught up with 12 or 13 school friends from 60 years back and for the last 10 or so years we have been meeting up every month for lunch. last year I decided to try and organise a school reunion We had 70 people turn up including two teachers one of whom has since died. it was only a small school of about 200 pupils so I reckon we ve done ok We have been in touch with a few others through FB since, who don't live anywhere nearby We are hoping to have another reunion in a couple of years.
We have all had different experiences some of us have had careers some none some been living overseas some stayed put some had professions some been on the dole Half of us have had more than one husband We all have a good laugh and lots of reminders of the 'old days' This year I met one of my bridesmaids who I lost touch with soon after my marriage so 52 years it was just like we d never been apart really lovely

TriciaF Sat 20-Aug-16 21:12:06

Making arrangements for my Mum's funeral, 2002, of all times, I chatted with the solicitor, who's a nephew of an old school friend. He gave me her phone number and I rang her.
We had a few conversations, by phone and online. Sadly she had just become a widow.
That was a very sad year - what with Mum, an old auntie of 100, and two other friends from the past widowed, all at the beginning of 2002.
But our first grandson was born the day after Mum died, so that was a blessing.

Deedaa Sat 20-Aug-16 21:20:27

In a couple of weeks I'm going to the 100th anniversary of my old school. I have always kept in touch with a couple of old schoolfriends, but I have since met several others who I only see at the school reunions. Lots of people just seem to have vanished into the ether.

DH made contact with one of his old schoolfriends through Friends Reunited. They met up but it was pretty disastrous. The friend had been divorced and then married an alcoholic who died in her sleep one night. He seemed to be heavily into drinking himself and they just had nothing in common.

Alima Sat 20-Aug-16 21:32:09

No I have not made contact with an old school friend but one made contact with me and I was thrilled. We first met up about 12 years ago after having lost contact for about 30 years. I last saw her a couple of months ago, we email regularly and find it very easy to chat away. I suppose meeting up with old friends will either go well or not but you don't know for sure unless you try.

Penstemmon Sat 20-Aug-16 21:38:05

I have had mixed results! One friend that I was good pals with aged 13-16. She left school after O levels and went to work in a bank. i did A levels and trained as a teacher so lives divurged. We did meet up through another mutual friend, discovered she lived 5 minutes from me but we had not bumped into each other. We went to her place, with our OHs for supper and had a good evening but never followed it up.
I met up with another set of pals at a school reunion. We had not seen each other since leaving school (we were in our 50s when we re-met!) and we 'speak' regularly via FB and have met up with each other (we live all over the place now) about twice a year.

Babs1952 Sat 20-Aug-16 21:38:47

Interesting subject. I have recently moved back to the area I grew up in after over 40 years. I am now in contact with my very good school friend we plan to meet in September. We haven't seen each other for all those years and you have made me wonder but I think I'll take the chance after all nothing to lose and maybe everything to gain.