Nanacindi,
I too am grandmother to a terminally ill grandchild, it's been six long years of not knowing what is around the corner ... The doctors at first said she would not survive infancy then as each winter comes prognosis is bad and she somehow has managed to get to six ... Each year we thank god ( and I wasn't his friend for a very long time ) she is still with us ... But we know lurking around is the grim reaper ... Waiting to take our brave , brave girl away from us . This is something we can't control and we as mothers have always made things better for our children , we have to simply accept ....
I liken it to the process of grief having a bereavement having a child whos life is limited and as grandparent you go through the disbelief that it's happening , and will get better in time whilst knowing in your heart it won't ... Then anger at everyone and everything ... Guilt not being there and stopping the bad things happening to not only your grandchild but your child , finally, finally, you reach after lots of sleepless nights and worrying a state of acceptance is somehow found .you can begin to ' enjoy' things other grandparents take for granted ... Such as a millisecond smile ... Or eyes turning your way when you speak to her ... It truly fills my heart with bittersweet joy ... As for my daughter she has changed sadly from the bubbly person we once knew into a sad , tired, and unpredictable young woman who won't let her daughter out of her sight ... She has gone on to have another child who has brought such happiness into her life , it's made her life harder but definitely she is much happier ....
All I can really say to you is to support her in the best way you can ,by being in the background to be called upon when needed ,and make the best of everyday with your grandchild , make lots of happy memories , and look forwards to acceptance of the situation it will happen one day ...
Much love and hugs ( cos we grannies need them too ) xxx
This was written from my heart so please excuse the rambling nature of it !