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I don't know whether to laugh or cry!

(44 Posts)
kittylester Tue 03-Mar-15 16:05:39

I've just been to see Mum and she told me that she had always dreamt of having a family of really good looking children who spoke beautifully but her dreams never come true! confused

Mishap Tue 03-Mar-15 16:06:52

Oh definitely laugh! smile

merlotgran Tue 03-Mar-15 16:07:43

grin kitty

soontobe Tue 03-Mar-15 16:09:46

grin Did you ought to write all her sayings in a book?

granjura Tue 03-Mar-15 16:17:23

Laugh and laugh again- your mum is priceless. (((( hugs ))))

annsixty Tue 03-Mar-15 16:27:02

You can't possibly take any offence.She lives in a dream world and she loves you really grin

Anya Tue 03-Mar-15 16:32:00

LOL Kitty thanks for that grin

Galen Tue 03-Mar-15 16:33:02

Wonderful!

granjura Tue 03-Mar-15 16:34:45

Yes, great idea bout writing a little book! perhaps with proceeds to Alzeheimer research.

Well done you for not giving up- as said before, it will help you so much to know that, when the time does come.

kittylester Tue 03-Mar-15 16:49:37

Ann - the thing is that she didn't like me very much before but it gives me great pleasure to tell my brothers (who she adores) that she thinks they are a disappointment too! grin

Seriously, I rarely get upset by her comments now but when I was younger, and she meant what she said, I did!!

Agus Tue 03-Mar-15 16:59:06

Your Mother's loss then Kitty.

What's not to love?.......We all do flowers

Mishap Tue 03-Mar-15 17:58:30

My mum happily told me that she had tried the gin and hot bath treatment when she found she was carrying me - I felt really welcome!

loopylou Tue 03-Mar-15 18:06:29

Flipping heck Mishap A friend of mine's mother also added jumping down the stairs to that little disclosure sad!
I've got used to the fact I'm not /married to/ a doctor but am constantly reminded I could/should have 'done better' for myself....but I still love her (bless!)
Mum doesn't have dementia (thankfully) so makes it somewhat harder sometimes hmm

kittylester Tue 03-Mar-15 18:08:06

Flip Mishap! That's appalling! flowers

granjura Tue 03-Mar-15 18:16:41

That must be so hard- I have to say. And I am very sorry. It makes me feel very privileged that I know my parents were so happy to welcome number 3 (1 boy from my mother's first marriage, 1 boy 1 year after their marriage) and that I was a girl. flowers flowers flowers

How can a child ever be made to feel responsible for their birth, or their sex... xxx

durhamjen Tue 03-Mar-15 19:16:06

Went to see my mother in law yesterday, and she wanted me to take her to see her mother. She was upset that nobody would tell her what had happened to her mother. My mother in law is 93.
She told me that my husband was a deaf mute and no good. I just go along with it.

Falconbird Tue 03-Mar-15 19:27:13

I was born 10 months after my little sister age 1 passed away. Everyone in the neighbourhood was shocked according to my aunt. This was in 1946.

My parents always had a strange attitude towards me, they didn't have anymore children, and I always felt they either loved me or disliked me too much. They were always amazed that I grew and prospered and I could tell they were always thinking about the child they had lost.

Mum frequently called me a changeling - the real baby had been taken away and a fairy child put in the cradle.

janerowena Tue 03-Mar-15 19:40:21

Mishap mine did too! She also told me that she had wanted boys, not four girls! grin She too also jumped down the stairs. She smoked like a chimney because even then she knew it would keep my size smaller. It's not surprising that I have more health problems than my sisters.

I am astonished that we turned out anything like reasonable human beings sometimes.

loopylou Tue 03-Mar-15 19:42:17

sad sad sad Falconbird

durhanjen having attempted to sign up for GN surveys, I notice applicants date of birth goes back to 1910.....how many 104+ year old GNs are there out there! confused

loopylou Tue 03-Mar-15 19:48:06

janerowena shock That's so hurtful, I was a wanted baby but my mum's awful childhood meant she never knew a mother or any grandparents, and had a pretty disinterested father.
I think she wanted me, as the eldest, to be what she imagined was a 'perfect' child.....which I wasn't! My sisters had a much easier time of it, strangely.

Mishap Tue 03-Mar-15 19:48:55

I am glad that others were on the receiving end of the gin!! - there is a programme on foetal alcohol syndrome tonight - perhaps I will recognise myself!

janerowena Tue 03-Mar-15 19:57:32

I'm not sure I want to know! I wonder if that is why I like gin and tonic, though? Programmed from birth?

Ana Tue 03-Mar-15 20:06:12

You won't recognise yourself, Mishap. Foetal alcohol syndrome carries recognisable facial deformities and mental disablities.

Mishap Tue 03-Mar-15 20:20:44

As an adult I realised that contraception was a bit hit and miss in the past so being pregnant when you did not wish to was very common - I have no doubt that many babes were subjected to the gin!

I am interested in the programme to find out how much alcohol you need to have to cause problems later. A near relative went on several drinking binges in the very early weeks before she realised she was pregnant - she was in the crazy student phase. Her child has a number of concentration and behavioural problems and she often wonders if the booze had anything to do with it. Looking online it does seem that these sort of problems can result from drinking in pregnancy without the full blown FES.

rubylady Tue 03-Mar-15 22:37:27

flowers to all who have posted stories of not feeling wanted, so terrible.

I felt like I was loved and looked after and wanted, until my baby sister came along when I was 15 years old. I felt she had taken over my place. I don't hold this against my sister, it's not her fault but my mum should have known better as she felt that her sister was more important to my grandma than she was so she knew how it felt.

I'm off for an echocardiogram tomorrow and I've turned tonight for some reassurance off my dad, for the first time ever as he was never allowed by my mum to get close to us or us to him. smile