Gransnet forums

Chat

Morbid Thoughts

(37 Posts)
NotTooOld Fri 27-Mar-15 11:07:19

Does anyone else suffer from morbid thoughts at certain times of the day? My worst time is twilight, particularly in winter, when I have all sorts of morbid thoughts about life/death/illness/war/accidents. I've had a very fortunate life and count myself as lucky, so why do these dark thoughts come into my mind? I try thinking positive and counting my blessings but still they come. Is it just me?

Mishap Fri 27-Mar-15 11:09:49

I think many people do this more as they get older; but it can also be a symptom of an underlying depression, so if those thoughts become too obtrusive it might be worth seeking some advice about it.

Tegan Fri 27-Mar-15 11:27:53

Darn it; long post from me just disappeared into cyberspace so I'll just say 'yes' it does happen to me these days late at night.

Charleygirl Fri 27-Mar-15 11:33:16

Some everyday drugs, prescription only, are known to cause morbid thoughts so it may not be you- you may be getting some unwanted "assistance".

loopylou Fri 27-Mar-15 13:34:08

I do too but put it down to so much depressing news around, rather than the return of depression, hopefully lighter evenings and more sunshine will help?

NanKate Fri 27-Mar-15 14:36:06

I never used to think about death or illness in my early 60s and now in my late 60s they pop up daily. I try very hard to push them away and get on with things.

I am a very positive person, heaven help anyone who is of a negative disposition.

harrigran Fri 27-Mar-15 15:06:58

No, life's too short.

HildaW Fri 27-Mar-15 15:29:57

NotTooOld......been there, got the T shirt....seeing the councillor.

I'd recommend a book that introduces the sort of therapy I'm having.

Its called The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris. Its a silly title but once you start reading it, all that worrying business about negative thoughts become much clearer.

Basically thoughts are just that....thoughts caused by our busy modern brains that are still set on survival instinct mode. We are always searching for danger and problems and when there is nothing actually there we fill in the gaps.

One of the first things I've been taught....and its like keep fit - you have to keep exercising the tactic to build up the skill.....is to recognise the thought and give it a label...Oh that's one of my morbid/dying/disaster thoughts. Then you can say to yourself...'I'm having a thought - is it actually helpful at this moment? (Usually the answer is a big fat NO). Then you just sort of recognise the thought for what it is and move on to something more helpful. If I cant sleep I just go through the alphabet thinking up 5 girls and boys names....I rarely get past F.

Any way will stop rambling...just to say, Yes get those thoughts and you are not alone.

NotTooOld Fri 27-Mar-15 15:59:39

Thanks for all your replies. I don't think I'm clinically depressed, I think I'm very susceptible to light, so that once the evening begins to draw in, I think the morbid thoughts. If I turn on the lights and the TV the bad thoughts go away immediately. Sounds ridiculous, doesn't it? We've moved house a lot and one of my criteria has always been that there must be lots of light. DH used to think I was mad but he's accepted it now. My father was the same about light but when I asked my daughter recently if the twilight affected her she said no, which is good. Perhaps I should cheer myself up by pouring a glass of wine when the sun is going down - come to think of it, perhaps that's why people used to have 'sun-downers' and say 'open the bottle, the sun has gone over the yard arm'!

loopylou Fri 27-Mar-15 16:16:19

Definitely not ridiculous NotTooOld, sounds like an element of SAD. I bought a so-called daylight standard lamp for knitting etc and to my surprise (triggered by this thread, thank you!), I realise this is the first winter for years where I haven't actually wished I could hibernate. We bought this house 19 years ago, after viewing many, purely because of the amount of light.
I almost see the autumn as going downhill, dragging slowly through winter then my mood rising up again in spring.
'Sundowners' sound like an excellent therapy to me! smile

whitewave Fri 27-Mar-15 17:20:37

I am sure that it is perfectly normal that as we age our thoughts turn to our demise. But sometimes it is all relative.

Mum at 97 is wondering whether to have her eyes sorted out and has decided the answer is yes as she may well go blind in 10 years!

NotTooOld Fri 27-Mar-15 22:53:50

Whitewave, that's brilliant positive thinking by your mum! Way to go! - as they say.

Loopy - perhaps it IS SAD although twilight is not a good time for me whatever the season. Glad to hear your light bulb helped, though.

Charleygirl - I don't think it can be the prescription drugs as I have always been the same but perhaps they are making it worse at the moment.

Anyway, I'm glad it's not just me - thanks, all..

Leticia Sat 28-Mar-15 07:12:37

I get mine at about 4am if I can't sleep.

vampirequeen Sat 28-Mar-15 08:19:07

I have them all the time but then I'm clinically depressed. I didn't realise 'normal' people had them too.

Falconbird Sat 28-Mar-15 09:51:00

I think as we get older and have seen a lot (sometimes too much of life) we can become low in spirits.

I've been through too many traumas in the past year and do sometimes think really sad thoughts about life in general and have flashbacks to traumatic events.

I worry about dying alone, having a breakdown, my children abandoning me, my DIL saying I can't see the GKs anymore, being terminally ill, cruelty to animals and children, you name it I dwell on it.

I watch too much TV but then why not. I keep to happier programmes or documentaries where people have come through terrible times and emerged on the other side.

I thought it was mainly because of the way my life has turned out, but maybe it's part of growing older.

My mum certainly dwelt a lot on her life and she wasn't diagnosed as being depressed. although I think she was.

She would tell me over and over again about things that had happened to her and she found it cathartic. I don't have a person like that, but I have Gransnet.

glammanana Sat 28-Mar-15 10:11:06

Falconbird Gransnet can certainly be there for you when you need to talk about things as we have found these past couple of days from the very brave posts we have been reading,I think worrying comes to all of us and now that the years are passing much quicker than I ever imagined they would I do think about what I will do when I am alone or hubby is on his own these thoughts always grab me during the night when I wake about 3/4am could it be when you resistance is at its lowest do you think.

Nonnie Sat 28-Mar-15 10:38:34

Only very occasionally. I think if it were to happen on a daily basis i might go and see my doc.

NotTooOld Sat 28-Mar-15 11:26:54

Perhaps that's it, just getting older and wiser, knowing more about the world, can bring on sad thoughts. I do think keeping busy and active is a good thing to do although I can't do much of that at the moment being only two weeks and five days post-op (I'm counting!).

I think Falconbird's comment about watching happy TV programmes also applies to books. When I'm thinking of buying a new book on my kindle I always look in the 'Humour' section first and I definitely steer clear of the 'misery memoirs'.

Nonnie Sat 28-Mar-15 11:29:39

NTO that explains it, I amy be older but I am not wiser! grin

NotTooOld Sat 28-Mar-15 11:40:41

Oh, Nonnie, I bet you are! Mind you, I sometimes think that being wise is not a good thing. Better to remain in ignorance and bliss!

Mishap Sat 28-Mar-15 11:59:41

Hilda - that book and others reinforce some aspects of Freud's idea that I find fascinating - that we have two minds - one is unconscious (from which that annoying thought came) and the other is conscious and is "watching" what the unconscious mind is "saying" and bringing it to book if it is off track - I find the idea fascinating.

Falcon - how much TV is too much I wonder? If you are enjoying it and it is helping you then then what is wrong with it? You are judging yourself too harshly - a CBT concept! You have to imagine what you might say about it to a friend in your circumstances - I am sure you would be kinder.

Mishap Sat 28-Mar-15 12:00:12

PS - it is the idea of these two minds "talking" to each other that really fascinates me.

petallus Sat 28-Mar-15 13:47:35

It is fascinating.

I've always liked the idea of sub-personalities (normal not pathological).

It's like a committee with, say, the scared one, the whingey one, the assertive one, the confident one etc. and a chair at the head of the table monitoring it all.

peaches47 Sat 28-Mar-15 18:20:03

Strangely, I get less of these thoughts now I am older (67) than when I was in my 30s and 40s. Don't understand 'why'.

loopylou Sat 28-Mar-15 19:14:53

Miisery memoirs NotTooOld, I couldn't believe the number of shelves in book shops taken up with this genre of writing.
I wonder, if there are two minds, whether one dominates and what happens when they conflict? I was unaware of such a concept, fascinating indeed, I must dig out Gross' Psychology tome from student nurse days....