Gransnet forums

Chat

funeral

(15 Posts)
ninathenana Fri 31-Jul-15 14:57:22

DH and I are attending a funeral on Monday. The deceased's daughter has said her dad requested no dark colours be worn and that his favourite was purple (dark colour confused )
Do GN's think it's possible to go too bright ?
I intend wearing a black/pink/purple flowered skirt and purple top.DH not comfortable with not wearing a black tie, but he will comply.

tanith Fri 31-Jul-15 15:09:17

As his daughter has said no dark colours then I don't think your outfit sounds OTT, could your husband perhaps wear a purple tie?

Anne58 Fri 31-Jul-15 15:14:34

Your outfit sounds perfect, and I agree with tanith about the tie.

Yes, it could seem a bit confused about the purple, as it is usually thought of as a dark colour, but perhaps it is a bit subjective? Some people might refer to lilac as purple.

merlotgran Fri 31-Jul-15 15:38:18

This 'no dark colours' thing can be quite misleading. We went to a funeral last year where we were told to wear bright colours right at the last minute and I'd already bought my outfit. I changed the top to one with a black and lavender pink pattern. I reckoned that was bright enough and DH swapped a dark suit for beige trousers and a navy blue blazer.

Most of the mourners did the same as us so there was a bit of colour along with grey and black. One woman, however, arrived in a bright orange trouser suit and stood out like a sore thumb. Even the chief mourners only wore a bit of colour so I felt a bit sorry for her because she was the one who obeyed the request while the rest of us dithered.

I think your outfit sounds fine, nina

Tegan Fri 31-Jul-15 16:07:18

merlot; the same thing happened at the S.O.'s mothers funeral. Someone turned up wearing bright red and told us that she felt really embarrassed. My daughter had to go out and buy something to wear for another funeral because, like me, she tends to wear black a lot of the time.

ninathenana Fri 31-Jul-15 16:11:03

We have today tried to buy DH a purple or any other shade tie with no luck, as we live in a bit of a backwater.
DH has settled on dark suit, white shirt, and stripped tie which contains pink. He intends putting his black tie in his pocket. Just in case !
Thanks for the reassurance smile

ginny Fri 31-Jul-15 17:10:40

At my FILs funeral last month we asked the same. Most of the men wore lighter coloured suits and coloured tie or light trousers and a blazer. MIL wore a cream trouser suit. I wore navy trousers but with a blue and pink pattern top. Most of the ladies wore floral or patterned skirts , tops or dresses. if they have said bright then I don't think any thing is too bright.

Personally, I see a funeral as a celebration of some ones life and to see everyone in black and dull colours is very depressing.

Leticia Fri 31-Jul-15 17:28:41

The last one that I went to requested bright colours and it was summer and lots of reds, pinks, yellows etc.
I definitely want people in bright colours at mine! ( and by that I really mean bright)

rosesarered Fri 31-Jul-15 19:36:35

If they say bright, then wear bright. however I do not see all funerals as a celebration of somebody's life, it entirely depends on the age and circumstances of the deceased person.If they don't say anything then we wear black or navy or grey.You can always put a bright scarf in your pocket to add to the outfit if everyone else is wearing some colour.

Ana Fri 31-Jul-15 19:40:25

I agree, roses. Even if the deceased had requested 'bright colours' I think a coloured top (or bottom!) would be adequate - no need to go OTT.

Jane10 Sat 01-Aug-15 07:26:15

I plan to stipulate black black and more black. It will be easier for the weeping ,wailing and rending of garments. grin . However,back to reality, I don't want to be any inconvenience at all to anyone so the one or two people who might attend are free to wear whatever suits them. Could there be a little biblical gnashing of teeth though?

Leticia Sat 01-Aug-15 07:54:29

I would like people to go OTT with bright colours at mine!

I go with what people ask. If no instructions I wear dark colours with a black skirt.

annodomini Sat 01-Aug-15 08:00:02

I would like to specify a woodland burial in a cardboard coffin with everyone wearing whatever they like and if some of them want to wear black, so be it. Then they should repair to a pub and have a good wake.

Iam64 Sat 01-Aug-15 08:22:11

Jane 10, your post made me smile. I tend to agree with roses as well, in not generally seeing funerals as some kind of celebration of the person's life. It marks the end of a life and my experience is that there are always tears which are followed by laughter as people begin to talk about the person's life.

I like the idea of your funeral annodomini - just my kind of thing.

ninathenana Sat 01-Aug-15 12:41:30

Mum always said "Just bury me at the bottom of the garden"
She did have a wicker coffin, but a more conventional cremation grin