Gransnet forums

Chat

End of an era

(23 Posts)
apricot Wed 02-Sep-15 20:27:43

Yesterday was my last day of looking after grandchildren on a regular basis after fourteen years. I'll still be needed in school holidays for many years as littlest is only just four but starts school tomorrow.
I've spent many many wet days bored to tears, ten years of coping with GD2 before I knew what autism was, I've played the Shopping Game about a million times, learnt about construction vehicles and Minecraft with the only boy after nine girls, dealt with tantrums, potty training and wasp stings.
I'm ashamed to confess that I couldn't wait for it to all be over.
But what will I do next Tuesday without hearing "Granny! Granny! Granny!" all day, without bursting with love and pride over the most beautiful children in the world and without any runny noses to wipe?

merlotgran Wed 02-Sep-15 20:40:00

I know how you feel, apricot. My only 'granny duty' these days is meeting DGS3 from the school bus three days a week.

I love it though. Teenage grandchildren are great fun and no runny noses to wipe grin

Luckygirl Wed 02-Sep-15 20:45:39

A new beginning - but no doubt a period of adjustment first. I am sure you will find yourself called upon more often than you think!

merlotgran Wed 02-Sep-15 21:11:47

I tell a lie....DD has just burst in through the back door all of a dooh-dah because she's got to work 'oop north' from Friday to Monday.

'Pleeeeeease, Mum. Can you have the boys?'

Good job she asked me before the supermarket shop tomorrow.

You see....It never ends grin

Pittcity Wed 02-Sep-15 21:23:29

I am at the beginning of this with DGS1 starting school and no longer needing regular weekly grandma care.
But I am not totally redundant as I have DGS2 tomorrow while DD2 takes the car to be fixed.

We have been through all these emotions before with our own children, so I suppose it is harder this time because we know how our children are feeling as their children grow up.

annsixty Wed 02-Sep-15 21:37:27

This week I have youngest GS starting school , although I never did regular care with him. Two oldest starting 6th form college ,GD2 going to middle school at 13 for years 9/10/11 and step GD ( very close ) going to high school. It has been a roller coaster of good luck texts , "now you will be fine,"and "aren't you grown up now." I feel as fraught as their parents. When we send our own 4 year olds off, we never realise that we will go through it all over again, several times.

BlackeyedSusan Wed 02-Sep-15 22:19:36

Runny noses galore after he starts school... I suspect you may be called on for sick child duty.

You may find that there is a change in the relationship... having to do less of the day to day stuff and more of the good bits.

pinkprincess Thu 03-Sep-15 00:18:38

I feel a bit sad as well now my grandmother duty is almost finished.
I say almost as the two youngest who are now 14 and 12 still come round during the school holidays but they are more independent now and do not require constant supervision. They learned to become independent since the breakup of their parents' marriage last year and live with their mother.
I have a 10 month old great grandson. I have not been asked to look after him yet but time will tell as his mother DGD2 went back to work this week.

Eloethan Thu 03-Sep-15 00:32:14

It's the same with us. Our grandson is starting nursery as his sister is starting school. I will miss having him but he's had a couple of "trial" short days and I can see he's thoroughly enjoyed having other children to play with and lots of indoor and outdoor activities to keep his (very energetic)little self occupied.

Now we'll be seeing more of a grand daughter again as we'll be having her two days a week after school. We take them out at the weekend and they sometimes have sleepovers too so we'll still be seeing them fairly regularly.

What is more of a wrench is when they get older and naturally drift away a bit. It's good to ensure that there are plenty of other things going on in life, and to meet regularly with friends, so that life doesn't feel sad and empty when the grandchildren aren't around so much.

KatyK Thu 03-Sep-15 10:52:06

I only have one grandchild - our granddaughter. She is 15 now and I miss playing with her, colouring in, letting her soak me with the hosepipe in summer. She is now a beautiful, trendy teenager but fortunately still comes to stay with us occasionally. She was here this weekend, she stayed over and said 'nan can we bake?' We made a lovely chocolate cake which she took great delight in decorating. I agree, merlot - teenage grandchildren can be good fun smile

Gagagran Thu 03-Sep-15 11:11:05

My 4 DGC are all growing up fast - 14 next week, 13 in October and the other two (cousins) are both 10 and what a lovely bunch they are! They are loving and fun and always seem as happy to see us as we are them. We chat about all sorts from current affairs to fashion and sort out my smartphone for me if I have any problems.

I think (and hope) that we will always be close as we have been in their lives from day 1 and they often reminisce about the things we did with them as small children from baking with me to obstacle races designed by DH in the garden. They are the joy and light of our lives and we are very lucky to have them.

annsixty Thu 03-Sep-15 12:05:04

I'm sure some of wish we could have had them first grin

annsixty Thu 03-Sep-15 12:05:44

Some of us!

Teetime Thu 03-Sep-15 19:58:01

I know how it feels too. MY beloved small GS started BIG school today and when they moved away two years ago it broke my heart not to have him in school holidays. But today he rang me after school to tell me all about it and for a shy little boy that was lovely. My big GS (aged 30) is getting married in November and threatening to make me a Great Grandmother so it will all start again. These grandkids really know how to twang the heartstrings don't they? smile

Falconbird Fri 04-Sep-15 06:16:06

When my DH and then my son's Mil passed away within 7 months of each other both aged 67/68 my grandson then 4 years old was frightened and bewildered. He turned to me a lot to try and explain what had happened and I did the best I could to help and support him along with his mum and dad.

Yesterday, three years later, I took him to school where he is becoming one of the "big kids."

He was fine and walked ahead full of confidence with hardly a backward glance. No anxious questions, no hand holding, a confident little boy who had coped with losing 2 grandparents and was moving on.

Job done - I so hope I won't have to do it again - but that's one of the roles of a Grandparent. Be there in times of trouble.

I will always remember my own mother, who arrived at such times, put her pinny and slippers on and began cleaning out my cups!!!

It was reassuring just to have her there.

glammanana Fri 04-Sep-15 08:45:35

This term my youngest two DGC will be going into their 2nd and 3rd yrs at Senior School and travelling on two buses every morning instead of being driven in by mr.glamma he is so bewildered as to what he will do with that spare hour now poor man and checked that they still wanted to travel by public transport,youngest DGCs told him he's going by bus so he and his sister can catch up with their pals on the ride in so you would be better having a rest Grandpa smile

Greyduster Fri 04-Sep-15 09:01:58

It's surprising, glamma, how being taken out if these small routines can affect your day. We pick GS up from junior school two days a week and there have been times when SiL or DD have sent messages to say we won't need to do it that day for whatever reason, and DH's hates it - he's like a ship out of water! What he's going to be like when we have to stop doing it altogether in a couple of years goodness knows.

Penstemmon Fri 04-Sep-15 09:05:47

This is my last year of 2 x day care a week as DGS2 (DGC4) will go to school Sept 2016. I still do drop off and pick up for the other three on those two days so still have a few more years of regular 'use' grin

annodomini Fri 04-Sep-15 09:54:36

As a 'remote' granny, all I have is photographs of them looking uncharacterisically pristine in school uniform. DGS1 has started in Y7 this term and looks quite at home in his new blazer and school tie.

Marmight Fri 04-Sep-15 10:56:25

I have never, sadly, been near enough to my gc's in order to help with their care. I too, have to rely on photos, Skype and FB. GS no 4 started school this week. He was only 4 at the end of July, just a baby really. Far too soon in my opinion. Here is a photo of him with his library and shoe bags almost as big as he is! sad

Irenelily Fri 04-Sep-15 12:10:50

Last August I had the privilege to be "grandmother of the bride" at my eldest grand daughter's wedding! It seems a long time since I fetched her and her brother at the end of the school day, for tea, bath and to drive them home in their pyjamas ready for bed! My four other grandchildren (all under seven) were bridal attendants. What a happy day!
Sadly the little ones don't live close enough for anything but occasional visits. However married grand daughter lives near enough to pop in for a "cuppa" now and then!

apricot Fri 04-Sep-15 19:40:51

marmight my last granddaughter who has just started school was 4 only a fortnight ago. I too think it's far too young, especially as school demands that they get themselves dressed and undressed for PE, cope unaided in the loo and eat with knife and fork. The summer-born children haven't the coordination to do all that and my little one's speech is not at all plain.
Why does this country want babies in full-time school when other countries' children do just as well after starting at 6 or 7?

hulahoop Sat 05-Sep-15 10:26:52

I look after one of my granddaughters one day a week she is always smiling
And cheers us up she is very bright but one problem she uses toilet to pee
But still wants nappy for a poo she as seen her cousin use toilet and knows
Everyone goes to toilet but insists on nappy she is same at home she goes to nursery twice a week but waits til home to poo nursery say not to worry.by the way she is 3years old any suggestions welcome .Den