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Having a bit of a moan.

(55 Posts)
NanKate Mon 08-Feb-16 18:33:40

I felt like bashing my head on the wall and shouting very rude words. Of course I didn't but it was a near thing.

My d-in-law has gone on a course abroad for one week and our DS asked if we would come and help look after the 5 and 3 year old GSs. What could be simpler.

We started off well on Saturday but now Monday both boys are playing up and are being spoilt brats. I love them dearly but DH and myself are counting the days till Sunday when we can go home.

My DS is helping when not working (he works from home).

I shouldn't complain, but this is the one place I feel I can say how I feel.

Must go the little one has just been sick and the big one says my sausage, potato and peas was delicious, so it isn't all bad. grin

grannylyn65 Mon 08-Feb-16 18:46:59

I feel your pain!!!

absent Mon 08-Feb-16 18:49:51

The grandchildren have only recently returned to school after seven weeks summer holiday over Christmas and the New Year. Much of their time was spent with me which was both delightful and exhausting. I've just about recovered. I know just how you feel.

Luckygirl Mon 08-Feb-16 18:51:06

I am with you in spirit! - good luck!

NanaandGrampy Mon 08-Feb-16 18:53:57

That's sad that it's not as you expected.

Can I ask are the boys playing up because their mums away or for another reason?

When I have our little ones without their parents , it's my rules . We are agreed on that because I don't believe in the whole 'I'll tell your dad when he comes home thing' . So we deal with issues immediately.

Is that something you can enforce as both the boys parents are no there ? It would be a shame if your visit was spoils.

Ana Mon 08-Feb-16 18:58:37

But their dad is there - all day by the sounds of it, if he works from home.

I think you should have an agreed handover time and stick to it - your DS shouldn't be taking you for granted and you need some 'time off' each day.

You have my sympathy, they're hard work at those ages!

f77ms Mon 08-Feb-16 19:01:17

You have my sympathy but they must be missing their Mum so much !

I looked after my 2 step grandchildren 4 & 7 for a week when their Dad was in hospital and Mum was working , I was on my knees by the end of the week and it took another week to recover ! The cats were also traumatised !!

jinglbellsfrocks Mon 08-Feb-16 19:07:30

CBeebies? DVDs?

thatbags Mon 08-Feb-16 19:28:00

My sonoutlaw always says that it is perfectly allright for me to plonk the dearhearts in front of a favourite DVD if I feel the need. What did people do before telly? Kick the kids outside, perhaps?

Or maybe they were outside anyway.

NanKate Mon 08-Feb-16 19:50:23

All in bed and asleep - sheer heaven.

DS has helped a lot, but he has to meet deadlines for work and so we have split the work of looking after the boys between us. DS took youngest swimming, whilst eldest at school this afternoon. I went to bed for an hour. smile

Yes the boys are missing their mum, first time she has been away from them.

They are two very boisterous boys and need to be kept physically busy. The hour chasing around the garden centre went well.

They are allowed some tv in the evening which is a relief.

They are normal boys, it's us who have slowed down.

Thanks for listening.

NanaandGrampy Mon 08-Feb-16 19:54:10

Sorry I misread, I thought your DS was away also.

I know what you mean about you slowing down. Little ones just have sooo much energy.

Hope you survive the week smile

jinglbellsfrocks Mon 08-Feb-16 20:04:28

Oh gosh yes! Definitely normal. I can remember when our two were that age. Nightmare! grin

Katek Mon 08-Feb-16 20:23:52

Oh help!! I'm off next week to look after our two smallest for 3 days. They are just 1 last week and 2.5. Do I lay in a supply of Red Bull??

POGS Mon 08-Feb-16 20:50:04

Yep Red Bull and Bicardi with 4 ice cubes. Be careful with the ice though it get's you tipsy. wine.

morethan2 Mon 08-Feb-16 21:11:18

nankate I too feel your pain. Like you I adore and love my grandchildren but, and its a big secret BUT there are times when I think "when the (a rude word)are you all going home" My three youngest have less than 5 years between them. For this reason they are always via ing for attention. They exhaust me. On the other hand I know how lucky I am. So I wouldn't dream of saying anything. It's a double edge sword. Your secret is safe with us.

Thebeeb Mon 08-Feb-16 21:56:16

Refreshing that we can say what we feel.

So often non hands on grannies say how lovely it is being a grandparent. Yes it is but it can also be hardwork and a long lonely and exhausting day amusing little ones if you are on your own.

Also sometimes funny, rewarding and joyous.

Flowerofthewest Tue 09-Feb-16 00:58:57

I had always said that I would never look after grandchildren while parents went back to work. (I've done my bit) However when tiny prem. Baby was born I relented and said that I would do it for two days a week. They are 10 hour days and I am utterly exhausted at the end of each day. Baby is now one but 9 months in real time and toddler is 2!!! Yes the terrible twos. Out of nappies so it's numerous trips to loo, usually as I'm settling little one with her bottle or changing her nappy.

rubylady Tue 09-Feb-16 05:50:58

From a granny who doesn't get to see her grandsons at all, I feel that that part of being a grandparent would be too much for me. Due to the health problems, I couldn't have two little boys jumping around, climbing on everything and being so boisterous. I also would be frustrated at them being on tablets all the time, being absorbed in screens and not doing things or seeing things or experiencing things. As a home school mum, I don't like too much screen time. It is hard enough trying to tell a teen to get off for a while, but to have a five year old and a two year old obsessed is awful and my daughter just lets them do it.

I would want to grandparent similar to how I parented, taking them out, experiencing things, doing things, reading, painting, playing together, making an effort.

So maybe it is best I am not involved with them as my daughter wouldn't want me to interfere or say that the children need more stimulation other than looking at a screen to keep them quiet. The eldest was only three when she bought him a tablet but before that children's tele was on 24/7 as well, noone watching it, it was just on. She was 9 years old when her brother was born so she knew the things I have done with him.

I do miss the "what could have been" feeling, but it wouldn't have been like that anyway. A little girl singing with her gran in a cafe at weekend, I would never have had that. I felt like a stranger when I did see them. Ah well, never mind.

Do other young parents use tablets as child minders?

Jane10 Tue 09-Feb-16 06:44:15

Yes. My DGSs both have tablets and headphones. Its a problem when they come to stay and we don't have a clue how to work the damned things. Solved by doing other things like eg reading actual books or playing real games like Snakes and Ladders instead of their usual 'virtual' fun! Its a great moment when they are all fed, clean and sound asleep!

Nana3 Tue 09-Feb-16 06:50:43

The older ones have a tablet, the younger ones have a huddle ( I think that's what it's called, it's designed for little ones).
Have you seen the news today about children and social media? Trolls and bullying being talked about, very worrying.
I was babysitting 2 year old GD yesterday and after her afternoon nap she was inconsolable and crying I want Mummy. I see her frequently but there are times only mummy will do.
Good luck NanKate and everyone.

Falconbird Tue 09-Feb-16 07:23:39

I bought a tablet for my 8 year old grandson. I keep it in my house and he does love it but I worry about the length of time he spends on it. I have gone up in his estimation though - he thinks I am a real tekkie (can't spell it) Gran.

annifrance Tue 09-Feb-16 10:10:14

Even if I am looking after DGCs in their own homes, it's my rules. Generally they are very good. However DGS can be a bit of a handful, but I do tell my DD that he is a walk in the park compared to DS in childhood. I have shouted at DS many, many times, but it doesn't work, as I keep telling DD.

When I have him on my own I tell him I don't like shouting and I don't like getting cross, so if he does something cross-making I will get cross. So now I only have to say 'cross and cross-making' and he usually behaves! Also when he kicks off I put my arms around him and say 'Don't squeak darling, I love you'. that works too.

So much better grandma that I ever was a mother!!! But then I know I can hand them back.

TheMaggiejane1 Tue 09-Feb-16 10:17:05

You can get some very educational apps on tablets which are great fun. Short activities are best for keeping active youngsters occupied. I usually get through playing with the train set, memory card games, story books, painting or craft activity, lunch, watching tv or a short video, a walk or play in the park, a tablet game, more toys and hopefully a nap (for me if not for him!) when I have my 3 year old grandson for 5 hours on Mondays. He's the 5th grandchild (number 6 due any day!) so I feel as though I'm getting the hang of it now!

Lupatria Tue 09-Feb-16 10:20:31

can't hand my lovely grandaughters back as they live with me [and mum too].

both my daughter and i share the parenting - we share the same "rules" as she inherited the ones i used to bring her up and told me i did a good job!!!

they're 13.5 [that half year is so important] and 10 but i do the school run for the youngest twice a week [or more if required] as mum works part time.

it's been almost a year since they moved back and the girls have now properly settled in and found their feet after a big trauma leaving their daddy [social services got involved and it was all very traumatic for both of them ].

they're hard work, especially when one says "i don't do jobs", but i do sleep soundly at nights!!

Cher53 Tue 09-Feb-16 10:29:14

Yes, I am not looking forward to the terrible twos, and it is so different as to bringing up your own children. I am like the other gran that mentioned 10 hour days, mine can work out occasionally at 9 hours two days a week, it is alot but granddad helps too. However we have the other days to recover and the one bonus is those nights I have no bother sleeping!

I am grateful that I do not have alot of overnights. When grandchild gets older, it will be 'Granny's house,granny's rules' and I know my daughter is fine with that, she goes by how she was brought up. Most of the time though I have great fun with my grandchild,they are so funny.