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Retiring to Lancashire

(60 Posts)
Babs1952 Tue 05-Apr-16 10:09:00

We have decided to relocate to Lancashire after many years of living in Devon. It's our second marriage and we have three children between us. I have a son living in Surrey a DD living in NYC and my husbands DD about 50 miles away. They are all married and have given us 5 lovely GC.
Anyway I have always liked the idea of moving back "up North" and as my husband is a Yorkshire man with a 90 year old Mother and several sisters ( I also have 4 ) we thought it would make life easier all round to relocate.
So the house went on the market and is being sold to the first people to view. We have had an offer accepted on a house and all is going through. So my question is why do I feel so scared? The Children are OK with it mine especially as we will be closer to my ex which will make life easier for them. My sisters are delighted as are the in laws so why do I feel a sense of doom?
We have chosen a house in the town I was brought up in which is close to Church shops a pub and a short drive to a leisure centre. Also close to a Masonic hall important for DH. All makes sense so why do I feel this uncertainty?
Sorry to ramble on.

Willow500 Tue 05-Apr-16 10:30:12

I can totally relate to your feelings as I indicated in another thread we are so undecided about doing something similar and I'm so scared of even starting. It sounds as though you've made all the right choices about where to relocate to and will have plenty of people nearer to you to visit and be visited by. I'd like to move back to my roots up north but it wouldn't be practical in our circumstances as we'd be further away from our son and his family. I'm sure anyone would be nervous about a big change but think of it as a whole new life ahead of you and all the fun of planning and getting to know your new surroundings. Good luck with the house sale/purchase - envious that you've taken the plunge! envy smile

Nana3 Tue 05-Apr-16 10:57:32

I am in Lancashire, good luck with the move, you will find us a friendly lot, although you will be used to us as you were born here. Hope your DD will enjoy visiting, our beautiful countryside and good coastal towns.
I enjoy the company of my women friends in the WI, we are very welcoming to new members. It sounds like your DH has his own connections, so I hope you can make some too. It's normal to have some anxieties isn't it, hopefully all will be well.flowers

Greyduster Tue 05-Apr-16 11:37:05

Your DH is a Yorkshireman and he's moving to Lancashire??? shockshock. Only joking!smile. Moving from one part of the country to another is always daunting - we've done it a few times. Lancashire is a lovely county with, more importantly, lovely people and I'm sure once you settle in and become part of the community you'll wonder what you worried about. If you don't like it, just hop across the border - we'll have you! smile. Good luck!

Babs1952 Tue 05-Apr-16 11:50:06

Thanks Willow if we had someone nearer it would have made a difference. One of my reasons was the feeling that one of us is going to be left on our own and I didn't want that. We do have friends and we shall be sorry to leave them but we will always visit DD so we should keep in touch. Anyway your positive thoughts have given me a boost? I am just getting over a virus so maybe that's the cause of all the negativity. Onwards and upwards!!
?? for you Willow

Babs1952 Tue 05-Apr-16 11:57:22

Thanks for all your replies I've only just seen them!
Yes Greyduster he tells me we are moving to the dark side ? ? Well I feel better already and I do believe the people are friendly. My DH is retiring just before we go - I retired last July and love it. So a whole new life awaits!!
Thanks for all your positive comments it means a lot. ?

sherish Tue 05-Apr-16 12:19:52

Good luck for your move. Hopefully you will settle in very quickly and make a lovely group of friends. I am in the North and apart from the weather which isn't as nice as Devon we are a generally friendly welcoming lot.

janeayressister Tue 05-Apr-16 12:37:58

I live in Lancashire.

What I learnt about The requirements of Old Age/ downsizing/ moving

I am downsizing, after living with my in laws for two months. They are in their 90s.
I realised after looking after them that I need a semi detached and neighbours. ( In case I am left alone) I need to be near a hospital as you have a window of about 3 hours to get to help if you have a stroke. ( my DCs are Doctors) We spent an awful lot of time with my in laws ferrying them to hospital.
You need an Ensuite wet room ( my Father loved a bath so we had to haul him upstairs and lever him into the bath as he was too stingy/ set in his ways / to install a bathroom downstairs. You need three bedrooms in total. One bedroom each, and one for a carer/ relative staying in an emergency. Very little garden, as when you can't do it any more, who is going to keep it tidy? We have spent hours and hours, after travelling over 100 miles, clearing up gardens. We are still doing it!
Plus we have bought funeral plans and have set up power of attorney and given our Children copy of our wills.
Put your affairs in order and sort out your possessions is my mantra.

I expect to live a long time as I am fit , but I don't want to do what my Father ( died 96) MIL, and FIL and step MIL ( all over 90) have done to us children by refusing to acknowledging that they are aging and living in totally unsuitable accommodation with acres and acres of ground.
We keep responding to crisis after crisis and we are retired ourselves. Their mantra is ' we don't want to move' we want you to come and look after us whenever we fall etc.
Talk about burying your head in the sand.
Caring for our old folks , who I do love, has been a big learning curve. I do absolutely dread clearing another house out, yet again.
Sorry that I hijacked your post.
I have lived in Lancashire for 30 years and it is beautiful. The people are the best.

rosesarered Tue 05-Apr-16 19:10:45

Babs do you think it could be the fact that you are moving back to the town you grew up in? All feels a bit 'full circle' ? would a different town/village in Lancashire be a better choice?

Babs1952 Tue 05-Apr-16 19:18:51

Hi Jane interesting post! We have bought another semi which has been extended to include a downstairs wet room which is supposed to be en suite but I think we will have a hard time fitting a bed in said bedroom! There is a study which I think would make a bedroom on the ground floor. At the moment we don't really need these facilities but it will be nice especially when our children visit.
Your life sounds very hectic! Unfortunately DH Mum is the only parent we have left between us and we are both the eldest in our families. So we should be the elderly relatives but at the moment we are still fit and now looking forward to exploring our new area. Thanks for your thoughts ?
Hi Sherish I think the weather may be warmer here but we can compete with any where with rain fall!
Feeling better now and I am really looking forward to meeting lots of new friendly people.
Thanks everyone ??

Iam64 Tue 05-Apr-16 19:41:20

I was born in lancashire, it's a beautiful county and the only draw back is the weather which is indeed grim and really, only fit for the cotton trade which sadly is no more.
You're spot on about downstairs shower/wet rooms, easy access to doctors, shops, libraries and easy access to a good local hospital.
Welcome home grin

Jalima Tue 05-Apr-16 20:26:11

Oh!
I cried when I left Devon sad
Mind you, it rains a lot there too

Come to Sunny Devon
Where it rains six days out of seven

Whatever you decide, I hope you'll be very happy smile

NotTooOld Tue 05-Apr-16 21:32:54

We've just sold and now don't know whether to move to Devon, which DH would love, or to Berkshire to be near our daughter. We are in our late 60s but fairly fit. Any thoughts anyone?

mrsmopp Tue 05-Apr-16 22:04:06

I live in Devon and I love it. Glorious countryside, Exmoor, Dartmoor, lovely coastline, lots of attractive towns to choose from, Cornwall is on the doorstep.
The winters are warmer. There are so many benefits. Family will love to visit you as there are plenty of places for them to explore.
It's a great quality of life, and I wish you all the best if you decide to make the move.

Willow500 Tue 05-Apr-16 22:07:52

Go near your daughter - but not with the intention that she will look after you. My parents moved 60 miles to live round the corner from us when they were in their mid 60's but only because I was an only child and they wanted to be near their grandsons. They lived very independent lives until their mid 80's when they both developed dementia. It was hard but it did meant I was here for them. They played golf and made a lot of good friends and enjoyed their lives here as we all spent a lot of happy times together. That said we still don't know where to go smile

seasider Tue 05-Apr-16 23:19:07

We have fairly regular meet ups in Lancashire so maybe you could join us?

rubylady Wed 06-Apr-16 02:20:15

Hey, Iam64 the weather is lovely up here, changeable, yes, but that's the fun.

Welcome back home Babs. Get back used to saying "Love" to everyone, lol. X

Babs1952 Wed 06-Apr-16 03:42:10

Hi Seasider well you never know maybe we could meet up! We are moving to what used to be an industrial town not very pretty in places but some lovely countryside quite near and the house is in a nice area.
I've been called "Love" here since I let my hair go grey! ?

seasider Wed 06-Apr-16 06:43:33

I am a Yorkie who has been in Lancashire for years . I do travel home for my "fix" quite often but I have grown to love my Lancashire home . Our meet ups have tended to be near Manchester but we come from all over so can be flexible . Hope you can join us sometime.

Nana3 Wed 06-Apr-16 07:57:25

I completely empathise jane. Having been a carer for years, we are seeing a solicitor to update wills and do power of attorney.
I had a conversation lately with a friend who was called 'my lovely' by a young man. She didn't like it.
They're talking on the tv this morning about how good it is for you to be outdoors, enjoy our Lancashire countryside Babs.

NotTooOld Wed 06-Apr-16 10:32:10

Thank you mrsmopp and willow - still undecided really but you have both given me food for though.

Stansgran Wed 06-Apr-16 15:07:40

Clitheroe is supposed to be one of the best places to live in the UK isn't it? I think it's lovely but prefer Harrogate.

Stansgran Wed 06-Apr-16 15:07:57

Or Ripon.

Babs1952 Thu 07-Apr-16 10:56:35

Wouldn't be able to afford those places me thinks ?

Babs1952 Thu 07-Apr-16 10:58:20

Wouldn't be able to afford those places me thinks?