How judgmental are you?

If you are Kitty so am I .

I think it's very easy to be judgemental on an online forum.

You can't see and don't personally know the others on the forum. You don't know their circumstances. There are no facial or bodily clues in the communication. You can be semi anonymous if you choose.

There are little or no consequences to being blunt or outspoken ( except being told off by GNHQ) .

It's sooooo easy.

AND it's easy to shoot from the hip in response to a post that strikes a chord with you using little or no thought for all the things I've mentioned.

I liken it to the fact if I have a favour to ask , I always ask in person not text or a phone call because it is harder to say no in person.

That's the bit we miss online I think.

Surely, it is too simplistic to not wonder about the things that might make a person behave or post in a specific way. I think it is easier NOT to shoot from the hip online but to be more considered - which doesn't mean I get it right!

I truly don't know Kitty .

But then a lot of things amaze me these days and not in a good way.

I think I probably am a bit to keen to make judgements, but life has taught me that its probably because I have not had all the information or do not fully understand the situation.
I do not necessarily see it as a failing however as I KNOW I am being a bit too swift to leap to a conclusion so I usually hold my tongue at first (in real life). On line its a little different as many of these posts are asking straight out for an opinion on a matter that they would only ask of a very close person (if at all) and just as they are hiding behind the mask of the internet so too are the responders. That should not however, give anyone permission to just blurt out anything and everything - a little tact and good manners will never go amiss. But if someone asked me my opinion on animal cruelty, child abuse or Donald Trump....I'd pretty much scream the same thing!!

I think on some level that I probably am judgemental...but aren't most people, whether they admit it or not. We all have our own values and people who are at odds with those values we will have some difficulty to understand their reasoning. I think I am probably becoming a little more tolerant as I grow older (just a little!)

Beingjusgnental is one thing and being aware of it probably means that you become less judgmental - iyswim!

Obviously, as we get older, we do become more and more judgmental or we would get run over by a bus quite regularly as we wouldn't be able to judge the speed.

My point though was that people who vote Tory, read specific newspapers etc etc are not necessarily bad..... or are they?

Slightly off piste a friend and I were talking about the ability to "forgive and forget" and I realised that while I can forgive , I rarely forget
On an Internet forum you only know what you read so a person's true character may be much nicer (or nastier!!) than you think because of what you read.
Food for thought.

I know what you mean, kitty. Makes me laugh the way some posters sneer at the DM yet seem to think the Guardian is beyond reproach!

Of course they're not Kitty , that would be like saying all sports cars are driven by under endowed men or all labour voters who read the Sun are bad.

There's good and bad in almost everything .

Am now a tad confused....what's making sure you do not get run over by a bus got to do with the political views one holds?
Or am I being too judgemental?

You make a judgement as too how fast a bus is travelling and whether you can make it to the other side. It was an analogy I was given on a training course.

I think we are probably all a little more judgemental than we care to admit. The main thing is to try to keep those views to oneself in case circumstances prove we were a little over-hasty! And no, I don't think voting Tory makes anyone a bad person. Persona
Ly I don't much care what anyone votes or what newspaper they read. Each to their own!

I'm really judgemental, but I know it and so can reflect on it. The problem is when people don't realise their being judgemental and think there right! All the time

Come on now, drivers of open topped sports cars are all driven by old under endowed men !!!!!
(stands back in trepidation )

In real life I think I'm pretty judgemental, I don't meet many people to discuss things with. But on here there's such a variety of folks that I'm constantly changing my opinion on different subjects that I thought I had cut and dried.

Correct DaphneB we should forgive otherwise some transgressions against us would eat us up. However, forget?...absolutely not, we may end up making the same mistakes again and again.

Actually, grannylyn, this week I've noticed most of the open-topped cars I've seen have been driven by women!

I think I have become less judgemental in some ways and more in others, if that makes sense. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt if they act in a certain way, ie rudeness or looking bored when I am speaking (perhaps I'm just a bore) or something. I try to think perhaps they are struggling with something, as most of us are. I am judgemental on other things, such as the way some people let their children misbehave or people swearing at children in the street etc. If I ever try to diuscuss anything in the news with my family, my brother-in-law always pipes up with 'well we all know you read the Daily Mail' whatever that means.

Daphne I am afraid I am like you, I can and do forgive but I find it hard to forget. I know it is silly and it does nothing to help but it is the way I am. DH says I am too sensitive and should try to ignore things but I can't always. I often see items on the forum that I would like to comment and give my opinion on but I think it better to keep things to myself.

Aren't people who call others judgmental not being very judgmental themselves?

I can agree to disagree about many things- and always try to see both, or even, all sides- but there are some things I can't tolerate- like racism, cruelty to animals, children or the downs and outs, treating women badly- and won't compromise beyond a certain line. So yes, if having strong opinions is it- then I am.

I react in a judgemental way, but have the most dreadful memory, so I both forget the incident and the person making it very quickly indeed.

So on gransnet, I am hopeless at names or what people have said with which I disagree. As a consequence I have an idea of the broad spectrum of people's ideas etc. But nothing in any detail whatsoever.

I am like that in real life as well. There is one thing however I am no good at forgiving. An example.

There are 5 couples who have in the past periodically got together for a meal etc. I discovered that one of the couples will, given the opportunity bitch about the others. In fact one of our Christmas dos organised by them they ensured one f the couples was not invited. This makes me feel terribly uncomfortable. I loath bitchyness.

In fact I am really quite happy not to continue with the group as I hate it so much.

So in a perverse way I forget very quickly but do not forgive some things.

Having a strong opinion is ok gj but do you allow others to also have strong opinions without jumping down their throats or holding it against them.

I do not think I jump down anyone's throat kitty- truly. I try to have an informed discussion- and then I'll just withdraw when it is clear the person won't change their mind and I won't change mine- and it all becomes pointless.

But yes, I am passionate about some things, fair education and heath care for all, for instance. No-one will make me think differently about it. We have many relatives with who went to Public School and who send their kids to Public schools - and who only use private care. We just don't discuss these issues with them beyond a certain point - they of course are very judgemental about us- and think we are nuts for having send our kids to local comprehensives (where they did VERY well) and use the NHS only.

I agree with you that it is not easy.

In the present climate, and with the recent campaigns re immigrants, etc- yes, I do find it hard anyone would want to read the DM by choice. But would never hold it against you, as you say- and would be very happy to meet again. x

An exemple - my cousin and her DH in the USA are lovely people- we get on so well and have loads of fun.

But we have recently found out they have really strong opinions- and are further right than tea-party and Ghengis Khan. The vitriolic racism against the Obamas, full support of Trump and belief that Fox News is the only channel who tells the truth - is just beyond what we can be tolerant about or tolerate. So we won't see them again- sad, but un-avoidable.