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Things you didn't really appreciate at the time.

(62 Posts)
trisher Fri 23-Sep-16 22:52:03

When I was 18 a college tutor persuaded a group of students to go to the Manchester Free Trade Hall to see some black musicians. I enjoyed the evening and the music was great but I didn't think it was really exceptional. I realise now that I saw some of the best blues musicians in the world, among them I think Howlin' Wolf. I don't remember any other names but there was a blind man who was led onto the stage. Anyway I think possibly I was far too young to really appreciate what I was hearing and I wondered if any of you have had experiences that you didn't really appreciate until much later on?

Coolgran65 Sat 24-Sep-16 03:15:22

Saw the Beatles live in concert in 1966. I was in my school uniform !!.

Coolgran65 Sat 24-Sep-16 03:16:26

My father x

Lillie Sat 24-Sep-16 07:05:51

My degree ..... reading tons of literature about love, loss, death, war etc. and at 20 not having the slightest idea about the emotional side of life.

seacliff Sat 24-Sep-16 07:35:12

I agree Coolgran, my Dad. I always loved him, such a loving warm hearted kind Dad, but I wish now I'd talked more about his past life, he was an interesting man.

Sadly it wasn't until the funeral(church full) that I heard all the other stories from old friends etc and also, going through all his old papers. He was from a poor family and couldn't go to University, had to leave school early, but he educated himself as much as he could. Papers show his love of the classics, during the war he was in Athens and loved the architecture.He made the best of what life dealt him.

kittylester Sat 24-Sep-16 07:38:24

Me! I didn't appreciate the opportunities I had and allowed myself to be pushed into things by my mum. I also didn't appreciate that I was slim and quite attractive!

Christinefrance Sat 24-Sep-16 08:27:39

The different stages children go through. I was always wanting them to move on and do the next thing so failed to appreciate what they were actually doing.

Jane10 Sat 24-Sep-16 08:29:10

Yup. My Dad. It would have been his 95th birthday today.

jenpax Sat 24-Sep-16 09:16:47

Gosh I wish I had appreciated my youth more I am in my 50's now and can see how much I had going for me and maybe I could have taken some more of the opportunities life offered then!

Teetime Sat 24-Sep-16 09:19:20

I wish I had valued myself more and didn't marry the first man that asked - my mother said 'you'd better take him your not likely to get another offer'. She was wrong as she was about most things I've had my moments!!! grin

annsixty Sat 24-Sep-16 09:33:01

I could have written that first sentence Teetime although in my case it was to get away from an overbearing mother at the first opportunity, I was 21and 3 weeks, she would not have given permission before. My GD is coming up to 18 and I tell her constantly to make the most of the next few years and enjoy them to the full. Also like kitty my mother knocked my confidence and without being vain I now know I was attractive but was never told.

trisher Sat 24-Sep-16 10:36:24

But we never were told anything like that annsixty were we? I wonder why they all felt the need to make us feel unattractive, was it to stop us becoming big-headed or just a bit of the green eyed monster?

kittylester Sat 24-Sep-16 10:46:57

Some of my friends were told they were clever, pretty, kind, whatever ie - had their self esteem boosted.

Nonnie Sat 24-Sep-16 10:48:22

Me! I was so insecure and taught by my parents that I had no value and was 'only a girl'. Now I look back at old photos and realise I was pretty. I really had no idea and DH simply doesn't understand that I didn't know.

I wrote the above before reading the other posts. Gosh, I thought I was the only one.

DanniRae Sat 24-Sep-16 11:42:29

Oh how I wish I had realised that I too was quite pretty. I never felt slim because my dad constantly told me I had the xxxxx (family name) bum - all his sisters were short and quite 'wide in the beam' BUT I wasn't short and, then, a size 14. I don't know why he felt the need to say this to me? Mind you he also compared me constantly to one of his sisters who was the least popular in the family. Again why? I must say he was, mostly, a good dad and luckily my darling mum made me feel special. Sorry about rant!!

merlotgran Sat 24-Sep-16 11:47:28

Same here, my father. He died far too young and I would have given anything to have him know my children and be the calm, supportive presence in their lives that he was in mine.

ninathenana Sat 24-Sep-16 13:59:11

I was fortunate in that I never felt belittled by either parent but on the other hand I don't remember ever being told I was clever, pretty, talented or a lovely person.

KatyK Sat 24-Sep-16 14:31:56

I was always too busy wishing I was like somebody else - looks-wise, personality-wise, confidence-wise etc. Looking back at photos now I reallise I looked pretty good as a teenager in the '60s. I had the right shape - tall, slim, long legs. It's all gone to pot now of course grin I did appreciate my Beatles days though and feel very lucky to have seen them about 5 times live, including having sat behind them on stage after a competition win and also being chatted to by George (my hero). I always look back at my terrible childhood and feel rather sorry for myself but I did have lots of good times seeing the bands of the day live - Kinks, Stones, Pretty Things and many more.

Cherrytree59 Sat 24-Sep-16 15:22:09

Gardens and plants
It wasn't until I met my late FIL that I appreciated plants and making a garden your own.
I had trained to do a job that I eventually hated. But horticulture wasn't on my radar as a teenager.

My FIL taught me the names for the countless plants that he passed on to me from his own garden
But it wasn't until much later that I found that some of the names were his version grin

J52 Sat 24-Sep-16 15:56:04

Oh Cherrytree59 how I agree! My first house had a fantastic garden planted with many beautiful specimens, especially very old Moss roses. I had no idea how lucky I was. I did try and look after them and mow the lawn!

chicken Sat 24-Sep-16 17:20:39

I was always made to feel worthless at school just because I was useless at sport, so when I was asked to stay on at university to do research post-degree, I turned it down because I didn't have any self-confidence. I then jumped into marriage for the same reason. How I regret it all now.

Coolgran65 Sat 24-Sep-16 18:47:13

I wish I'd realised how pretty I was. My mother was the Queen of the 'put down'. Once she said to my aunt, in my presence when I was about 14 years, that no matter what I wore I still looked like nothing.

emmasnan Sat 24-Sep-16 18:52:05

I wish I'd realised what a nice figure I had and that I actually looked good. Never felt attractive at the time.

annsixty Sat 24-Sep-16 19:28:56

Were our mothers jealous of our youth?
Did they have a bad and deprived time?
I cannot explain it.

lizzypopbottle Sat 24-Sep-16 20:57:48

Perhaps mothers were afraid their daughters would get into trouble if they encouraged them to feel attractive? I wasn't put down in any way by my parents although I still suffered the usual teenage angst. I'm lucky that I don't have any particular regrets.

I too saw the Beatles perform live at the Liverpool Empire in 1964, I think. I was 12 years old. Back then we hardly had any nice clothes. I wore a dress I'd been bought for a family wedding (probably something I could grow into!) and a powder blue, foam backed coat that was almost certainly highly flammable! It wasn't unusual for us to wear our school uniform for best!