Do you love your grandchildren the same as your children?

My first foray into public comment!

The love I have for my three (so far) grandchildren is of an intensity which is indescribable. Although I was, and still am, a doting Mother, the love for my grandchildren is quite different. I was lucky enough to be present at the births of two of them and the love is immediate and overwhelming. And it is the same even if you are not at the birth, the minute you hold that tiny bundle, your heart is lost. And the love I receive from them all is a total joy. And I feel that the way my children love ME has become more intense since they see how much I love their children. That sounds a bit silly as if they didn't love me before or their love was conditional, but maybe other Grans have felt this too.

But with this great love comes great worry. I feel so protective towards them and constantly have to stop myself telling their parents how to care for them. (Luckily my children and children-in-law are all very patient! ) But if our children are the arrows we send to a future we will not see, how much more so are our grandchildren, and we want those arrows to fly straight and true and reach the target unhindered, so how can we not worry.

So in answer to the original question, no you do not love the grandchildren the same as your children. It is maybe not more, or less, but it is different and very intense. And yes it is difficult if you can't see them as often as you would like, but just enjoy the time you can spend with them and relish their love through phone calls and the many drawings and special gifts coming your way!

my only grandchild is in Australia, and another on the way.I love her but can't see us having a close bond. Thank goodness for Skype

Thank goodness for all your previous comments. I thought I was daft adoring my grandchildren as much as I did my own children. I clear up after them when have been here and then cannot wait for them to come back again.

Grandad keeps fit playing football and tennis and going to the park so that is another bonus.

I don't think this is the best forum for getting a balanced response to this question as I think it likely that anyone signing up to Granset is likely to be a pretty doting granny .

Hello everyone - here you go, my first post.

I have 1 daughter and 3 grandchildren, who are 2, 4 and 6 year old.

I think you love your children, but you are in love with your grandchildren. I could just eat them, they are gorgeous but very expensive to keep

I have three grandchildren, one lived with her mum with us for 4 years, she stays now about 4 nights a week, i love them all with all my heart and give them all i can, give them time as well as treats. i love them the same as my own children, although am a bit more worried about illness etc than i used to be.
I am a pushover . wouldnt be anyother way xxx

I love my granchildren but as the mother of 2 daughters I do find that I love my grandaughter rather more than my granson. I am not proud of this but seem unable to change the situation and am worried that he will notice this when he is older.
,

you think you love your own kids but having grandchildren is superb. i have five under the age of five and all live within a mile radius. The are fab and love spending time with them

I am a mum to two young children and i admit i find it rather odd when people say they love their grandchildren as much as their children as i just cannot imagine it! i also feel i would not want to impose on the parents love for their children - iyswim? it has been interesting to have a nosy on this thread and seeing what grandparents think. i love my children so intensly and i am sure i will love my grandchildren so much but nothing can surely compare to how i feel about my two little treasures!?!

So agree with you librachick, I could eat my grandson, he's so gorgeous. I love the fact that I get to see the world through his eyes and that watching him develop and grow triggers so many memories of when my daughters were little. I absolutely adore being a grandparent

I totally agree with you librachick, i could eat all three of mine. I love being nanny . Its fab although rather exspensive .

My first post...and I appear to be in the very silent majority!! I love my daughters first...then my grandchildren!....Many people I know will disagree totally with the way I feel..or maybe not understand..but thats the way I feel..always have always will....:-)

Yes, I love my grandchildren just as much but in a different way. It's fantastic because you get/give all the love but don't actually have the same responsibilities. My granddaughter usually says with me for 1 night each weekend & is such a joy to have around (nearly 4 years old). I don't see my grandson quite as often but he stays overnight approx 1 night every 6 weeks which suits me better as he is a bit younger and, at the moment, slightly more of a handful for me.

I just LOVE being a Grandma x

I think its different with Grandchidren - I have a Daughter, a Step-Daughter & a Step-Son. My Daughter had a lovely Son last yesr who I adore although I do not see him much as they live almost 200 miles away (we are planning to move closer). We have always had more contact with the eldest 2 grandchildren so know them better & have a close relationship. The other 2 (not my daughter's baby who is special as I am his real Nana not a Step-Nana) are different as we see less of them so don't know them as well. I don't think its a case of loving children better than grandchildren but of loving them all in different ways.

The love you have for the Grand-children is different to what you have for your own, my eldest grand-daughter sees me more as her mum because we have had a very close relationship, she has 5 children of her own ( my great grand-children ) and they spend as much time with me as they can, I feel that I have been bringing children up continuely for 50 yrs. BUT I love them all the same.

Hi - first post for me
I would say you love your grandchildren every bit as much as your children, but it is different. It is every bit as unconditional and full.
I think with grandchildren you can be much more relaxed - after all you've had the practice with your children
I am very lucky to live very close to all my grandchildren, so our bond is close - knowing when to step back is very important - you may love them every bit as much as your own children, but they are not your children and it is very important to remember that for a good relationship with, not only your grandchildren, but children too

I find I have a different realationship with my grandchildren than I had with their parents.
There is none of the stress that there is with your own children when you feel totally responsible for them along with the all the guilt when you have to leave them to go to work or you don't think that you're a good enough parent.

When I see my grandchildren I am completely relaxed with them and it is strange to see their parents getting het up about the same things that I once did. But now it all seems so triviall!!!........ although I would NEVER say that because it would probably lead to world war 3.

Ah the joys of being a gran.

MUSICPOSY Feel free to post on Gransnet with your interest on what it is like to be a Gran. Only don't wish away your time thinking about what it will be like as a Gran. Time stands still for no one. Enjoy being a Mum.I wanted six children, had two! Have spent life sofar working with children. Enjoying best time with four grandchildren. Like GODIVA but fortunate to have one of each. I dont't think of myself as a silent anything.

I simply fell in love with my grandchildren immediately.
They live in America, but it makes no difference. Perhaps it's a question of 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' - but I don't think so. I just feel so fortunate to have them.

Hello,

(First post for me too)

No, I haven't examined those feelings too closely but I must say that I have found my experience to be so close to grandmac's in the intensity of love but also the worry about their welfare with regard to outside dangers, etc. My grand-daughter is nearly two and my grand-son only just over a month old.

I must say, I have been amazed at the strength of love that I feel for them and I do find them a joy to be with. Unfortunately, I don't feel, as other grandmums have felt, for example, more relaxed whilst caring for them as I developed a neurological condition that affects my arms & mobility so that, if anything, I feel more concerned when I care for them, though if practical help is needed I'm not on my own with them. I couldn't even change a nappy!

Anyway, I can play & sing songs with my grand-daughter till the cows come home and I adore them! I wouldn't really like to compare my love for them as opposed to the love for my daughters. I loved/love them dearly and I was young when I had them, but this relationship that I have with my grandchildren feels no less important!

Since becoming a Nanny I have often said that if I could I would have skipped the parenting stage and gone straight to being a Nanny! Don't get me wrong I love both my children to bits but being a Nanny is just so different, you get all of the love and no real responsibility!!

I have one granddaughter aged 14 months and I can't believe how much I love her. I am lucky that my son and daughter in law live only a mile away so I see a lot of her. The relationship seems to me to be unalloyed pleasure- not least because I can enjoy every minute with her without having to worry about what else I have to do. I work full time etc but when I have her I can park everything else because it is for 24 hours at the most and so what if all we do is play, go to the park etc. When my three were little, only 5 years between them all, it was hard to sit back and enjoy them. Nothing beats the huge grin when she sees me, the big sloppy kisses and the cheeky little grin as she 'rearranges' all the CDs that she can reach. It sounds really soppy but I am seeing things through her eyes- yesterday morning's enchantment at a very fat duck having a vigorous wash watched by 6 fluffy ducklings. Without her in the buggy I would have walked straight past without seeing.

This is my first contribution to Gransnet - only joined about 20 minutes ago! lovely to read everyone's comments and just want to repeat what others have said - yes it is different, but apart from the love (which goes without saying) I just feel tremendously privileged to have been around my GD I always said I would have her to stay as much as i could for as often as i could as i knew (as with our children) that one day she'd want to spend less time with me. Well that time's arrived now as she's now a teenager doing what teenagers do, but i've got some fantastic memories and hope that, one day, she'll feel the same.

[] "welcome" xingxing I too am new and cant wait to log on..

My relationship with my daughter wasn't too good either Grannysmith and I was never particularly interested in children but since my granddaughter who is now 3 came along I have a completely different outlook. I'm completely smitten and can't wait for her to visit.
Being a Grandma is wonderful!