Do you love your grandchildren the same as your children?

Oh I can't imagine having 13 grandchildren; I think 2 will be it for me. I do think that you need to bond with your grandchildren; I had to look after the youngest [9 months] for a couple of weeks [9 hours a day; I was shattered] and I really felt as if I'd got to know him, as he always tends to be overshadowed by his brother. I didn't have brothers or sisters, so sibling rivalry etc was new to me when I had my children...I so longed to have a brother or sister that I assumed they would all adore each other!

I absolutely adore my Grandson - he is the best thing ever :-) I love him as much as my children but in a different way which is difficult to describe.

I have discussed this often with friends who are grannies and grand dads too but can't quite pinpoint why. Perhaps it has something to do with being more relaxed and wiser too?

Oh look! I was going to do a first post but grandchildren are battering on the door, so mum can go to work.....got to rush! ~waves and grins~

hi everybody first timer here i think its a different relationship with grankids especially ur gaughters was at the birth of my daughters two children and have a special bond with them

I adore both my children, love my son in law to bits, like and admire my daughter's ma, pa and brother in law, and feel very lucky that I have added such wonderful people to my family. However, I adore my grand-daughter, and will very soon adore my new grandbaby to be. I see her,(and the new little one), as the extension of my much loved daughter and son in law, with their own personalities, hopes and dreams. Family is all, and I love them all unconditionally. Just having such a super family causes me to wake up with a smile on my face.

I am sorry you were unable to have the large family you craved, I was extremely lucky to have 3 children, despite having 8 miscarriages in between them all in the fight to have a large family, now i have been blessed with 3 grandchildren through my 2 daughters(I was there at 2 of the 3 births, babysitting big sister when little sister was born) and as i am still only 41, an age when most of my friends are only just having their families, I feel as if I have added to my children..my girls are very close and I am so lucky to have my 2 granddaughters living with me at the moment whilst their mum is sadly poorly, and my grandson and his mum live 5 mins away, and i see him most days..they are the biggest joy in my life, my children meant and still mean everything to me, and although the love is very different, it is just as strong, asking if the love is different would be like asking me if I love my daughters differently to my son..it's a totally different kind of love..

Th.is is an interesting question, in that you cannot define your love. Its an all powerful emotion that comes with becoming a parent. I think its hard to believe its power until you are lucky enough to become a parent. Its unconditional. The love is always there even if you don't like your children ie through behaviour or similar. I love and adore my grandchildren but again its different. Can't really explain why, I would still give my life to protect them but I am not their actual parent. If ever tragedy struck and I needed to take on that role I would, without hesitation.I feel blessed to be a mum and a grandparent. I am lucky enough to live near to all of them so that they are part of my life and I am part of theirs. The love you feel is like an everflowing stream that just goes on and on, meandering through life's rocky and awkward bits but never disappearing and if hard times come its like a stormcloud which provides that extra bit of rain to make the stream flow faster and stronger. How's that for a poetic thought

I adore my grandaugher, she's a year old and she has stolen my heart.

Loved having my babies, love them still but this is all pleasure with none of the concerns of parenthood, wonderful!

First post ever by the way, hello all!!!

Me too was only allowed 2 children by ex husband, for his selfish reasons. Have 2 wonderful girls, my youngest got pregnant at 17 her and gs lived with me for 1st 3 years I adore him now 5 &4 months and he kept me sane tru a very messy divorce that went on for nearly 5 years, he now has a baby brother 1 this month adore him also. M y heart melted totally a couple of months ago when he said his teacher asked the class who was their best friend and he replied " My Nanny" Roll on more grandchildren,
As the add says tey are priceless.

this thread has been very enlightening to me!
i love my grandsons so much! but the younger one was taken back to New Zealand before we could bond..we didnt live near in the UK either..so i have felt bad about this..my older one ...and i have a very close bond..i have never felt a love like it! i think also your grandchildren are not critical of you in any way..they just take you for what you are! and yes...the relationship can be tense ..more so when you are in different countrys..thank goodness for skype..!!
i feel apart of me is not complete without them..
i worked from when my son was a baby, so i didnt have the real pleasure of seeing him take his first steps etc...

shrimp61 ah! so sweet saying 'my nanny' bless!

My first post too....

I am a 51 year old Nanny to Seth, 9 months and my son and DIL live with me right now but they are moving away in October, back to her home town, which is understandable though I will miss them terribly. I was lucky enough to be there when he was born and have never felt more proud of my DIL.

Being a Nanny - well, I was excited about it, but I didn't realise just how good it would be! It is, as others say, just a joy. It feels like pure pleasure, with none of the terrible worrying you do as a parent.

It is similar to being a Mum, in that you would die for them, and I have more time now even though I still work, than I had for my own 3 sons who I raised on my own.However,to reassure other Mums out there, you are always conscious you are NOT their Mum but in a totally different relationship.

I am thrilled and proud to be a Nanny and am delighted I am here to experience it. x

Oh, and someone commented how it can bring you closer to your children - my 3 sons have said it is lovely watching me interact with my Grandson as they can see how I was with them - and how much I have always loved them!

Here's a bit of soppiness which is true-grandchildren fill a space in your heart that you didnt know was empty.I love them as much as I love their parents though in a slightly different way.I worry less about day to day things and more about potential disasters.I havent the stamina to spend all day every day with them so the times we share are very precious and I try to make them special with each child having his/her 'own' games etc.With one it is 'Grandma the Racing Driver and F* the Navigator' played while driving very sedately but hunched over the wheel while the child shouts'LEFT bend!RIGHT curve!'etc and can tell left from right at 4.A 10 yr old girl sets me multiple choice questions on books we have both enjoyed and we talk on the phone about the answers.Just 2 examples from too many to list.I feel I was waiting to be a grandma all my life.

I loved the years when our three sons were children and longed to be a grandma ,but had to wait until I was 55 years old to be one ! However ,once they got started in 2005 the grandsons came one after another ...five in just under five years
The love I felt on seeing each one for the first time was just the same as when mine were born ,minus the labour !
I minded the first one from around 4 months until he went school and loved every minute of him
Only ill health prevents me from having them more, but I feel such a love for all five of them .
Having the time listen to them and to answer their many questions is really special but I also enjoy being able to afford to treat them as money was tight in the 70's and 80's ..not that it did our boys any harm (says mother !)

I agree it is love but its different, my grandson was born a week ago and I just want to be with him but I also have my last daughter at home. So I feel I have a foot in both camps here. I thought about what you had asked and I love them all so much but differently and I am joyous now watching my older daughter with her own baby son.
As your girls grow and develop and eventually become parents themselves I am sure you will have amazing joy for and with them.

I don't feel it's children versus grandchildren as they're all different and I love them all differently.Some were difficult children, some caused heartache in later life.
One grandchild is beautiful and happy and good but it's her sister I'm closest to because she has problems and needs all the loving she can get.

What a wise and balanced person apricot is.

I love my grandchildren just as much as I love my children - only its better because I have none of the worries or responsibilities that came with my own children.
Its not hard not being the one to parent them - They are not mine to parent !
You never have them all the time so it is not that difficult not seeing them all the time. Once you get used to your children having moved out ( which took me a while to get over!) I cannot see that the grandchildren not being there is any problem.
Its nice to look forward to grandchildren - but its best not to 'expect' to have them.

Hello
I have read all your posts and find them really interesting. My sons wife had twins last October and one of the twins is the mini me of his dad. I found this really spooky at first like de ja vue lol
I stayed over for the first month to help with the night feeds so I bonded with them really well.
I look after them two days a week now and because I can give them back I can enjoy , even the crying and tantrums don't seem so bad or am I just mellowing with age ha ha and yes I do love them as much as my children

I came on here though because my other daughter in law is really stressed and upset as her baby of 9 weeks is not settling after her 2am feed, mum is so tired and worried. The baby takes only two ounces of bottle then falls asleep and wakes up one or two hours later crying for more.
I told her that she will get better as time goes on and the baby gets bigger.
Any advice for me please as I feel a bit helpless

I so agree with you maxgran It took me a while to get over my kids moving out. I love both my daughters in law so I am very lucky that my family has grown.
I feel I get the best of both worlds because I can give them back. and as you say I don't have to parent them

Spikeirene,.. I have never been an over emotional type,.. but after my daughter left ( and it was not that far away when she first moved out!) I felt quite sad & depressed - It was like grief ! I didn't even know what was wrong with me but it was so weird not to have another female in the house !

I think I love them every bit as much, if not more, than my own kids.

When they were little I didn't have as much time as now, and it's so lovely to hold a warm, trusting little body to you again.

Hallo, I'm new here and having read a little from the publication on being a good granny, feel totally 'different'. I am the mother of 2 daughters and 5 sons most of who shared my bed. When I saw my first grand daughter just a few hours into her first day, I knew I would lay down my life for her just as I would for any of my other children. With a mere 20 years between my youngest child and her, I find little has changed ... and incidentally, I feel exactly the same huge surge of love for my younger grand daughter ...

My own daughter seems not unhappy that I can understand her two little ones . Maybe I just regress easily or time melts.

I think having grandchildren is the best thing and I adore all them. I have five, a six year old granddaughter, a five year old grandson and two grandsons and a granddaughter who are all three years old. My three children had a child each in the space of 17 days and I found when I was with any of the three little ones when they were babies I always felt like they were the same baby. I always had this feeling. They all lived close at first so I got to spend a lot of time with all of them. All of the boys are now living far away and I look after the two girls three days a week and have since the eldest girl was 11 months old. For a year I also looked after my eldest grandson from when he was 11 months old too for one day a week.

I don't have favourites and recently I spent a month staying at my two grandsons home that I don't see as often because they live a 3 hour flight away. I love them just as much and miss them all the time.

I see the other grandson who lives a five hour drive away around every two months. He said when we talked on the phone recently 'come home Grandma' and when I last stayed at his house and was about to drive back home he asked if he could come with me. Its a bit sad and I just love the times when all of my grandchildren are together, especially as they all really love each other.

When I was expecting my 2nd child I worried that I couldn't possibly love the baby as much as I loved my first. Of course I did. I had a wonderful relationship with my grandparents, but I did wonder if I would love any grandchildren as much as I loved my children. Of course I do, I adore her she is so special. I can love her without the worry one has with your own children. No worries about a career, housing, schooling etc. Just time spent together doing things a 2 year old loves to do . Now another one is due in November and I have no doubts at all and I'm so looking forward to it.
I've always said you relive your childhood through your children and their childhood through your grandchildren