How much do you all spend on presents for granchildren, sons and daughters and sons and daughters in law. Do you spend equal amounts. Do you prefer giving money? Do you spend more at Christmas or Birthdays?
We have nine GC between us, so can't be as generous as sometimes we might like. We are quite careful to keep things equal between the families but not obsessive about it. Its presents for everyone until they get to be teenagers, then we always ask them to suggest a few things they might like (they are a whizz at sending links to websites, so have learnt about superdry, jack wills etc etc!) The teenagers often most appreciate some folding money and then being taken on a shopping expedition. I am much more inclined to let them make their own choices than their mother is!
If our adult children ask for financial assistance, they know that it must be an amount we can give to each of the others or else it is a loan to be paid back (and we draw up a formal written agreement for this). May sound a bit harsh, but I have battled for years to get over a lingering resentment that when my mother was divvying up her own mother's estate, she gave more to my brothers than to me because they were male.
The littlest grandchildren often get a smallish gift and money put into their savings account.
I spend the same amount on all GC for birthdays and Christmas. The teenagers prefer cash, so I always wrap it in with a tiny gift so there is something to open. I also spend the same on daughters and SIL, though most request vouchers because a cash present tends to get absorbed into being spent on household expenses. (I was always grateful for the £5 an elderly aunt used to put in my birthday card when my children were little. For years it was a life saver!)
I don't set out to spend the same on each grandchild. What I spend on each depends on what present I want to get them.Some of the children like things that are very inexpensive - but I don't make up the cost with additional gifts ! Sometimes one will get a lot more spent on them because the gift that is appropriate for them that year costs more.
The gift is important as far as I am concerned - not the value of the gift.
maxgran I agree with you. That's what I did with my children. We don't do christmas so much now and prefer to by goats or the like through a charity. The gc still have gifts but I know they would give goats if asked as they are generous natured
Grandchildren get toys and clothes at Christmas, parents get money. For birthdays grandchildren get a large sum of money, toy and clothes. Parents get a gift for birthday. Last Christmas I asked them not to buy gifts for me but I was given photos of the children.
I always feel like a meanie, but with 3 kids, partners, 8 grandkids and some partners, one great grandchild, plus the extras that come along, like sisters children and step children, Once a daughter or son has a partner with children, they are on the list too,I can no longer count my 9 nephews and nieces and their offspring and grandchildren, well it all mounts up, and counting birthdays and christmas it works out expensive. we only have the state pension. So I limit myself to £10 each for birthdays, cash in card, then a present on or aound the same amount at Christmas as I think it's nice to wrap and give presents at that time. Then there are Easter eggs too. See what I mean, I am a meanie and envy my friend with just 2 children and 3 grandchildren who can afford to be more generous. But I give freely of my time, my love and my energy.
Christmas is always presents, I just love Christmas morning with all the presents and all the family. Birthdays are presents for some cash for others depending on whether I know what they want, also I remember from my own childhood how lovely it was to receive a sum of money for my birthday that was in excess of my pocket money, £1.00 note in a card when my weekly pocket money was 2/6.
I am relaxed about how much I spend on each person. It depends on what they need/would like but spend more on birthdays than Christmas because at Christmas I am buying so many presents in one go. Each year newspapers make claims about how much people spend on Christmas presents and I boggle at the amount. I am just buying my 2 grandchildren presents as their birthdays are May/ June. We are spending £40 on one and roughly £30-35 on the other.
However my children tell me that their best Christmas was the year we were short of money because my husband was expecting to be made redundant. Their main presents, a doll's pram and a chemistry set came from a Charity shop. My mother-in-law knitted a pram suit for my daughter's favourite doll and I sorted through all the bits of fabric and trimming I had to make bedding etc for the pram. My husband sorted through his offcuts of wood to make a laboratory box for the chemistry set. We have photographs of a beaming six year old proudly pushing her 'new' doll's pram down the road with her favourite doll in it all dressed up. Son was busy indoors doing doubtful things with chemicals.
Between my partner and myself we have 5 grand-children, he buys his 3 and I spend about £100 each for my two at Christmas and less for birthdays. As they are small I get presents they want, if there is not a lot that they need, (they have hundreds of toys) I make sure there is something to unwrap and give their Mum a cheque for the child's bank account. For their parents I give less. I spend an equal amount on my daughter and her husband,who,sadly have no children, thus, they get good adult presents. We try to treat everyone fairly and spoil them when given the chance, we shall have my partner's to stay in the Summer Holidays and they will get lots of treats then!
Interesting Gayle that you make Daughter the same giftwise. When my first grandchild was expected I bought the buggy and car seat etc. Not wanting to leave out my childless daughter I gave her a cheque to the value of the pram, she was shocked at first and said she did not need to be compensated. I said I did not know a woman who did not need another pair of shoes or bag so she should spend it on Jimmy Choos and wear them for me as I am long past it.
Usually spend about £50 on each grandchild for Birthday & Christmas, the youngest is 7 and the oldest 25. If they were saving up for something special then we would give them some cash and a wrapped gift.
I give more for birthdays and less for Christmas. Everyone has far too much at Christmas and a birthday is a persons' SPECIAL day just for them (well and a few million trillion zillion other people who have been born on that day through the years but you know what I mean)
Sounds very mean but I give one daughter a cheque-to use towards a suitable present as they know better what stage the children are at and if it disappears into household goods I don't mind as she "homemaking"while the gcs are little. I do constantly watch for books (Red House and Book People are great for getting a stash of books for random unbirthday presents) and the charity shops for jigsaws and biggish toys of the plastic in the garden variety. My other daughter lives abroad and postage on presents means things are rarely returned and clothes where they live are horribly expensive so I send pyjamas and dressinggowns-very dull but they seem to love them and give the jigsaws and books when they visit and send their luggage back over weight.-i'd love to have 8 gcs to buy presents for(and a matching bank account) unbirthdayy presents are best
I have two teenage stepgrandchildren who get £25 each for their birthdays (they prefer to have a cheque as they are both usually saving up for something technical and expensive) and £50 each for Christmas. As we don't see them very often, we usually slip them a few quid when we do get together! I also have a four year old grandson whom we have indulged shamelessly, birthdays and Christmas not withstanding, since day one, without really counting the cost. At our daughter's request, we have now reined in our spending and he only gets presents for birthdays and Christmas (we now allow a maximum of £70 a time), although we are allowed the odd "pocket money toy" or a book. We buy a little something for birthdays for my son and his wife, and my daughter and her partner, spending roughly the same on each, but we all made an agreement that only the children get Christmas presents, not the adults.
I try to spend about £50 per child [9 of them] at Christmas and about £30 for birthdays but this is becoming harder as income goes down.Adults-I do a stocking and a book at Christmas and a present for birthdays[cost depends on circumstances].I never give money as a pressie but would [and have] loan a large sum if asked.I once took out a loan myself to help my son who was living abroad.He paid back in full.
With eight grandchildren and one on the way we can't afford lavish gifts. Don't have a fixed amount and don't try to spend exactly the same on each - I agree with maxgran: it's the fact tnat the gift is something appropiate to the particular child and has been thought about that counts more than the cost. As a general rule I have an upper limit of £25 for birthdays and £15 for Christmas (more for birthdays because they are the child's 'special day' and also because they are spread throughout the year so it's easier to budget!). Last Christmas we adults did Secret Santa among ourselves instead of all buying for everyone - worked brilliantly!