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Grandparenting

Photos on FB

(61 Posts)
mernice Wed 01-Jun-16 06:14:50

Is it me, or do other mothers of sons feel a little miffed when DIL posts photos of
'my boys' on social media. No Dad?

Anya Wed 01-Jun-16 06:34:50

No....because they are 'her' boys now hmm

BlueBelle Wed 01-Jun-16 06:41:10

Do you mean pictures of your grandsons or pictures of your son ? If you mean your son unfortunately for us mums they are now belonging to AN other if you mean pictures of grandsons it seems a bit selfish and strange to not to say 'our boys' if it's a one off no problem if she always refers to them as hers maybe the relationship is not as good as it should be

Iam64 Wed 01-Jun-16 07:20:00

What's the issue here? We do not own our adult children . There are so many comments on gransnet about sons no longer "belonging" to their mothers once they marry. They never did belong to us, we have been lucky to have children to do our best to help them as they grew into adults. I honestly do not understand the ownership thing.

Maggiemaybe Wed 01-Jun-16 07:24:06

Not at all. Surely dad could say "my boys" too? hmm

janeainsworth Wed 01-Jun-16 07:38:19

Yes it's you Mernice.
Sigh.

f77ms Wed 01-Jun-16 07:38:38

I get what you are saying . Photos of the children not her husband¬! yes it seems a bit odd , why not" our boys " . I think we can be a bit oversensitive where our children are concerned , she probably didn`t mean to exclude him .

janeainsworth Wed 01-Jun-16 07:42:00

This is an extension of political correctness into family life.
As well as all the other comments we now have to be careful not to make, around various subjects, DiLs are now not allowed to refer to their own children as 'mine' in case it upsets the grandmother(s) who apparently also have ownership of them.
For pity's sake!

Lona Wed 01-Jun-16 07:42:24

Presumably she is on her Facebook page, not a joint page, therefore she is speaking for herself, not her partner.
#nitpicking

Lona Wed 01-Jun-16 07:44:16

Sorry, you didn't specify fb.
Stop looking for something to get het up about.

janeainsworth Wed 01-Jun-16 07:57:53

The thread title said FB Lonawink

Indinana Wed 01-Jun-16 08:06:12

I have to say I don't really know what the problem is? The fact that she says 'my boys' instead of 'our boys'? Or the fact that her husband (your son) isn't included in the group, i e. one of her 'boys'?
Either way it's a fuss aboit nothing. If that's all you've got to worry about then you're very lucky.

Auntieflo Wed 01-Jun-16 08:08:43

I don't 'do' FB, but DH does, mainly to keep in touch with family members. Last year I saw that he had put up a recent photo of both of us, and I got really upset. He did take it down, but I really don't want my phizog out there for all to see. AIBU?.

Alea Wed 01-Jun-16 08:18:26

This is a problem???
If your son posted them as ''my boys" would you be equally miffed?
Oh dear.

Badenkate Wed 01-Jun-16 08:24:41

I'm with you Iam64, I don't understand this ownership of children or grandchildren. I feel quite sorry for GNs whose life seems to revolve around their children or, more usually, their grandchildren.

thatbags Wed 01-Jun-16 08:48:25

I think I've seen the term "my boys" used by a woman of her husband, her son, and her dog. If the husband's mother doesn't like it, well that's just tough. She's a daft 'aporth.

janeainsworth Wed 01-Jun-16 09:17:29

auntiflo Your DH can alter the privacy settings of anything he puts on FB.
Your phizog would only have been visible to the world and his wife, if he had set it to 'public'.
If he had set it to visible only to the family, as he quite possibly did, then yes YABU.

Anniebach Wed 01-Jun-16 09:46:26

Hell bells. Are mothers when making an appointment to say - it's for our daughter /son. In a shoe shop say - our daughter would like to see red sandals ?

merlotgran Wed 01-Jun-16 09:57:29

Thanks to facebook DH and I are kept up to speed with all the comings and goings, achievements, flopped cakes, teenage strops and other family stuff that we would otherwise miss out on.

I don't care whether my DIL or SIL call the DGCs, his, hers or ours. I just want to see them and have the opportunity to comment on how lovely they all are.

Leticia Wed 01-Jun-16 09:59:23

I never realised until I read Mumsnet and Gransnet that people analysed things so much. It is a figure of speech. It makes you scared to open your mouth!
My father-in-law was still talking about 'my boys' when they were both over 60yrs. I thought it was lovely.

Leticia Wed 01-Jun-16 10:00:31

Exactly merlotgran - some people make such hard work of it.

Willow500 Wed 01-Jun-16 10:04:08

I'd be very happy if one of my DIL posted any pictures on FB - it's like they're on the other side of the planet not the other side of the world!! sad

granjura Wed 01-Jun-16 10:04:42

Exactly Merlot- living far away it's wonderful to see them regularly and hear about trips and special days etc- 'my boys' is totally acceptable afaiac.

Neversaydie Wed 01-Jun-16 10:07:00

I say 'my girls'on FB Its my account ... It doesn't mean I don't regard them as DH's girls too
What a strange observation OP

grannyactivist Wed 01-Jun-16 10:10:17

mernice I'm sorry to say that it is you. I can't imagine a single person of my acquaintance taking umbrage about this and I'm a little bit perplexed at your thought process to be honest. Did you immediately feel miffed when you saw the post, and what was going through your mind at the time? I often refer to my two grandsons as 'my' boys, but can't imagine either of their parents taking offense by my use of the phrase.