Hi Granparents,
I'm actually an intruder here (DIL) looking for advice to help with my MIL and maybe to help give you guys a DIL perspective (if that helps!).
My MIL lives in another country so I don't get to see her often, but when I do its for weeks at a time. I've been married to hubby for only 2yrs and we have one Bub. I'm pretty sure my MIL does not like me (she's passive aggressive, tries to undermine my parenting, thinks the worst of me in situations, thinks I mooch of my hub - I'm a SAHM), we recently had a huge blow up over xmas (she took something my hubby said, thought I said it, threw a huge tantrum wouldn't speak to me for 3 days over xmas, threatened to go back over seas, threatened not to see us for the rest of the trip ect) we agreed it would be bat for her to go to a hotel (neither of us were happy) she wanted to come back after a few days and only wanted to sort things it with me to come back and see GC, otherwise 'what was the point'. I thought we sorted it all out (sort of- I apologised for her hurt feelings, she still blamed me but said to sweep it under the rug).
Well she's still been making passive aggressive comments when we Skype and now she's gone and ignored me! Seriously, she wouldn't even say my name... Referred to me as just 'she' in our conversation, wouldn't say my name the whole time, there was a misunderstanding as we didn't know who MIl was talking about when it was me! (which confused us as we thought she was talking about a cousin, but she would clarify just kept saying 'she'!).
Anyway, hubby wrote her an email as he was pretty upset about it, asking her to just remember her manners and be respectful.
Well he's still upset. I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm doing now it (she previously has thought I kicked her out of the house and wouldn't let her in, that I boss hubby about and that I make him do everything!). But hubby is mid 30s, is making these choices (which I support) and I can see it driving a huge wedge between them!
I can't see her ever liking me, but to her I'm just an incubator- not even a partner for her son!
I don't know what to do (if anything) but thought I'd ask for wisdom from you guys who are probably on the receiving end of this from your own children!
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