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Grandparenting

Buying gifts for grandson

(31 Posts)
NannyMo76 Sat 22-Oct-16 10:22:17

We asked what to it for my grandsons 7th birthday and were horrified to be asked to buy a football strip priced at £75 .....I had already bought several bits and pieces so we ended up spending a lot. Decided to go withit and learn from the experience..
Now we have been asked to Buy another one for Christmas . We have several grandchildren to buy for and try to spend roughly the same on each . We are retired but comfortably off. My instinct is to say to my son t hat we will buy a cheaper version but are not prepared to spend so much on one item . Am I being stingy ?

Luckygirl Sat 22-Oct-16 10:32:05

I just bought a football kit for my GS's birthday - I got it on ebay for £5.99. Presumably it is a "fake" - but he was chuffed to bits with it!

Maybe you need to tell your family roughly how much you are able to spend on each child and then they can make suggestions that fit with your budget.

You are not being stingy!

rosesarered Sat 22-Oct-16 11:37:55

Hello NannyMo I too think that you should set a budget and spend the same amount on every child.So whatever you decide (£30 say, on each child or £20) You then know not to exceed it.You can either tell all your DC what the budget is, and ask for suggestions, or get them to set up Amazon wish lists, or not tell them but buy all your gifts in good time, and say that you have already bought them gifts if asked.
We spend about £35 on each grandchild ( we have three) but some of the present will be something practical, and the rest on a toy and a book.
They all get so much these days, both from Santa (!) and all the relatives, that they don't need masses bought by Grandparents.

annodomini Sat 22-Oct-16 12:06:32

My very tactful DiL usually gives me a link to a web site for her children's presents. I don't necessarily spend the same on each child because their needs and wants vary and they will be pleased with a gift they really want no matter what it cost. When my DS2 was about 3, grandma asked what he wanted for Christmas (this was in July) and he asked for a metal detector! Need I say that he didn't get that. He's now 43 and still doesn't have one.

Synonymous Sat 22-Oct-16 12:45:05

NannyMo that was more money than was needed to be spent to make a little boy very happy as he would never have known whether it was a copy or not. If the parents found a difficulty with that it would have been their problem not yours or the child's.

We have a budget so that all the children have approximately the same amount of money spent on each of them. Fortunately none of them are into football so that we are not compelled to take part in that particular fleecing by having to buy any of the strips.

We find it a challenge to find good quality items which will hold the recipients interest, be robust enough to withstand their play and be value for money. The parents also require minimal storage requirements. Not easy!

Tizliz Sat 22-Oct-16 14:15:07

Because I would have to post presents to the grand children which is expensive I put money in my children's bank account and they buy the present. I know one will want cash, and one will want to put the money towards something big and the youngest will probably have it put in her savings account. They all get the same amount - currently £30, but I think it needs to go up.

NannyMo76 Sat 22-Oct-16 14:25:00

I am so glad to read your replies and will try to find a copy which I am sure he would love

NannyMo76 Sat 22-Oct-16 14:28:19

I am in complete agreement that they all get too much. They are tearing off the paper , throwing the contents aside and onto the next one. I feel. Like a grumpy old bag and don't comment but it can't be good for children to be so over indulged.

Nelliemoser Sun 23-Oct-16 12:13:36

With several grand children you are not being stingy.
My two little grand sons really don't need any more toys. trying to think what to get them is difficult.
I have arranged an annual direct debit for birthday presents into their ISAs. When they get a bit older they will probably what more particular things.

M0nica Sun 23-Oct-16 18:52:13

I always ask all family members who get gifts to provide me with a wish list. Nobody gets everything, or even anything, if I have a better idea, but DC feel that their children get more than enough toys so I quite often buy clothes. i was always check that the clothes I have in mind will be acceptable.

The only rejection has been when DGD was about 4 and I bought her some lovely (I thought)grey furry boots to wear to school on cold days. 'I am not wearing those, they are grey. I don't like grey.' was her response on unwrapping them. Her parents were mortified, but we swapped them for pink (!!!!!!!) ones and honour was satisfied.

Anya Mon 24-Oct-16 07:01:27

I'm 'comfortably off' too, but would be horrified to be asked to splash out £75 for a football strip. You have decided to go with the cheaper alternative, good for you.

Teresaship Mon 24-Oct-16 07:18:31

If you want to get ahead of yourself most football clubs have a sale twice a year, you could buy the next size up. Obviously it may not be current but it will still be his team. This is how we get my husband, our ds and dgs shirts every year. Still more than I think the stuff is worth but a good compromise.

gillybob Mon 24-Oct-16 07:33:38

I don't agree with buying fakes and copies of anything. It encourages the black market and you are usually buying a load of rubbish anyway. I agree £75 is a lot of money for a genuine strip (a lot of that is the cost of the licence) but I would rather none than a fake. Sorry just saying. And for the record, I am not well off at all (quite the contrary).

suzied Mon 24-Oct-16 08:30:55

The full price non fake ones are usually a load of rubbish - badly made, horrible synthetic material etc. Might as well buy a fake / knock off one for 10th of the price, probably made by same poor folk that made the "real" ones.

Waveney Mon 24-Oct-16 08:32:46

I am also grateful for the Amazon wish list, but since my grandchildren all have October/November birthdays I try to Finns something at Christmas that will be suitable for the summer. My great weakness is books - I am always adding one (or more) to the present pile! My Nan always used to buy us annuals but they are pretty rubbish nowadays!

Waveney Mon 24-Oct-16 08:33:31

Find!

Maggiemaybe Mon 24-Oct-16 08:38:30

We have set an amount for birthdays and Christmas for each of the DGS and stick to it. We always ask for ideas from their parents as to what presents to get, or run our own ideas past them. As they are all just toddlers,we have been asked occasionally just for the cash, which we're happy to give. There'd be no problem this way if we were asked for something more expensive - as the DC know the amount available, they'd know that they'd get this as part payment.

I never buy fakes either, for the same reasons as gillybob.

Maggiemaybe Mon 24-Oct-16 08:41:12

Or I should say, I never knowingly buy fakes! grin

Christinefrance Mon 24-Oct-16 08:44:18

Books are the best present for me too but sadly think they are falling out of favour now. All my family are readers so the wish list is the way to go. I usually spend the same amount roughly on each grandchild so with eight it needs careful thought.
Waveney are you from East Anglia ? I lived in Lowestoft for many years and really miss the sea.

Greyduster Mon 24-Oct-16 08:52:25

I see even 'Strictly' has an annual now! Whatever next!!

BlueBelle Mon 24-Oct-16 09:40:11

Christinefrance your old town is my town

gillybob Mon 24-Oct-16 09:46:40

Not the case suzied my DGS has a couple of strips (Barcelona, Real Madrid....) they are first class quality and I should know as I wash them at least twice a week. (And when I say wash I mean SCUB as they are normally caked in mud ). DGS spends all of his money (birthday, Christmas, etc.) and saves like mad for his beloved strips and team footballs. My son has put a couple of his special ones that are too small into frames and they look fabulous on his wall.

Barmyoldbat Mon 24-Oct-16 11:06:40

Stick to your budget I was horrified at you spending £75 on football gear. Give him some money and tell him to save up for one. My gd age 10 wanted an Arsnel set, saved her money and bought it down the market, a fake, still has it in her memory box and it means a great deal to her because she bought it. A lesson in life skills is the gift you are giving hin.

milkflake Mon 24-Oct-16 11:17:18

Ebay is great, that's where I bought my GS's football strip. He wears it a lot and at age 9 he doesn't know if it's fake or not. We wouldn't have to buy fake if the football clubs didn't demand ridiculous prices. Kids grow quickly , 6 mths later they need a bigger one!

It's not right that one GC gets more money spent on them than the rest.

NannyMo76 Mon 24-Oct-16 11:19:01

Thanks for all your replies. I always buy books and little stocking fillers for Christmas and birthdays and add something "fun" along with PJs or pants etc so I was shocked to be expected to spend another large sum. My other DIL only ever requests smaller items and I usually buy two or three . I know the parents would buy this outfit if I don't even though they are not well off. The children are treated to expensive things all year round and I struggle to agree with that. At risk if sounding like a grumpy old woman I think they are over indulged and I suspect my DIL was treated the same by her mother.n