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Defence or unwanted interference?

(82 Posts)
thatbags Fri 17-Apr-15 09:20:39

This article from the Independent raises some interesting issues about whether one should intervene to help 'protect' people whom one sees are being abused. In this instance it's a racist rant that's the problem. I thought the article was good until I read some of the comments.

I don't think the Stacey in the article who told the ranter to shut up has a "saviour complex" as the article header suggests. She did nothing wrong so why criticise?

vegasmags Fri 17-Apr-15 09:54:26

Apparently, she shouted over the man, who was trying to speak. It's a bit like dragging someone across the road, rather than asking if they would like help to cross. According to the article, she also filmed her own actions and then posted the video on the internet. If this is the case, I wonder why she felt the need to do that?

thatbags Fri 17-Apr-15 11:44:14

Apparently the couple have thanked her but yes, her behaviour does seem self-aggrandising on one level, and I think that was the point of the article (which helped her aggrandisement too!), but it begs the question of when we should 'interfere' in order to help people who are being abused racially or otherwise.

thatbags Fri 17-Apr-15 11:46:34

I think videoing bad behaviour on tube trains and the like has sometimes helped police find the perpetrators of crimes. That seems a good reason to do it and perhaps, just perhaps, that was this woman's initial motive. I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. When good people do nothing harm happens.

Jane10 Fri 17-Apr-15 11:55:52

I did once intervene re a couple in the street. I felt I had to pointedly ask the woman if she was OK. A stranger doing that seemed to shake the intimidating man enough to stop what he was doing an allow the woman to get away. I don't know the rights and wrongs of it but felt I couldn't walk on by

petallus Fri 17-Apr-15 12:01:41

Sometimes when good people do something harms happens!

I'd intervene if I saw a woman being threatened by a man. In the case of a racist attack I would wait to see how the recipient managed the situation themselves before I did anything.

I felt like intervening a few weeks ago when I saw a couple of policemen searching a young man's car in a heavy handed humiliating way.

janeainsworth Fri 17-Apr-15 13:05:24

I agree with the comments that follow the article - I think the writer of the article is inherently racist herself.
She doesn't say that the racist abuser on the train shouldn't have been challenged - she says that the challenger shouldn't have spoken up because she was white.
Since when did doing the right thing depend on the colour of your skin?
What if another Muslim person had videoed the whole thing and included white people not doing something? Couldn't white people standing back and not saying anything have made them complicit in the abuse?
I hope in that situation I would have had the courage to intervene.
I don't think I'd have had the presence of mind to video it, but if I did, I think I would have just handed my phone to the police rather than broadcasting it on Twitter or FB.
And I would have tried to meet violent words with calm ones.

thatbags Fri 17-Apr-15 14:00:46

I agree about the racism of the article's author that the comments highlight. A person tried to help two other people. That's all it's about really. The writer is only objecting because the helper was a white person.

petallus Fri 17-Apr-15 15:30:05

I image myself being verbally attacked on a train. I am trying to decide how to respond (ignore, reason, yell back) when up comes a stranger and starts berating my aggressor. I find I cannot get a word in.

Later my rescuer posts the whole thing on the web and becomes famous.

How would I feel?

Not grateful. Probably annoyed, marginalised and belittled.

petallus Fri 17-Apr-15 15:31:05

In my scenario we are all white BTW

soontobe Fri 17-Apr-15 15:53:35

Agree with petallus.

thatbags Fri 17-Apr-15 16:36:54

In your scenario, petallus, I wouldn't mind at all that someone else did my shouting (or whatever it was) for me. I'd just thank them and think "Some people!" about the original beraters.

Guess we're all different. Clearly both viewpoints are valid and neither repsonse to the scenario is 100% right or wrong. Things rarely are.

Eloethan Fri 17-Apr-15 17:10:27

On the face of it, I would have thought someone would appreciate another person stepping in to lend their support. Muslims have had a lot of flak and may be reluctant to enter into a confrontation in public, not knowing how others passengers might react. Even if the young woman was a bit unwise to assume that the couple could not defend themselves, surely it is better than everybody keeping their heads down and offering no support?

If the couple in question thanked the young woman for her intervention, surely that indicates that they did not feel it was inappropriate?

The person who wrote the article was probably making some pertinent points but I thought her tone was unnecessarily cynical and sneering.

Nelliemoser Fri 17-Apr-15 17:12:59

I can see that the "saviour" is being rather too publicly "boasting" about her part in the incident.
However I strongly suspect that if you are used to being verbally abused by those with racist agendas you might generally be more likely to adopt a "shut up and say now't approach". On the grounds that you fear that if you do try to stand up for yourself you might be subject to some serious violence.
As some have said, as the man was apparently trying to make a point she shoud have waited.
In general though I think that if without putting yourself at risk of harm from the perpetrators, just literally standing by the abused person might be a good ploy.
I don't think it makes any difference if the helper is white or not but I suspect that any previous experiences that the person has had of being abused has had, will have a considerable effect on their feelings of confidence to manage, as in "challenging this situation" by themselves.

Just read about the effects on men and women who have been randomly attacked in the street, and women subjected to years of domestic abuse it saps confidence. Children who have been regularly bullied at school as well. They are often permanently afraid and will not be likely to stand up for themselves. It is safer to disappear into a corner and hide.

janeainsworth Fri 17-Apr-15 17:14:31

I think what is questionable is posting the video on the internet presumably without the consent of the couple who were on the receiving end of the abuse.

Eloethan Fri 17-Apr-15 17:56:00

That's a good point jane.

thatbags Fri 17-Apr-15 18:51:57

I agree that it's questionable, but that still doesn't make it necessarily wrong. It's just possible that Defender Woman thinks that the more publicity there is to people standing up to and challenging racist abuse the better it will be for everyone in the long run. Again, I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt because I believe she did something good, even though I doubt if I would have done the videoing thing even if I'd done the rest. To be honest, I'm not sure I'd be brave enough to do any of it though I would probably try to smile reassuringly at the couple to show that not everyone is a racist.

janeainsworth Fri 17-Apr-15 19:04:43

Yes I agree that if it increases awareness of racial abuse and gives other people the courage to speak out against it, then that's a good thing.

But the internet is a two-edged sword, and it's equally possible that once it's posted, organisations like the dreadful Britain First could use the video for their own propaganda.

petallus Fri 17-Apr-15 20:22:42

The writer of the article was expressing her own feelings as an Asian woman.

thatbags Fri 17-Apr-15 20:26:25

Yes, and using phrases like "white stranger with a saviour complex". Dead friendly, huh?

janeainsworth Fri 17-Apr-15 21:47:29

Petallus what if the roles had been reversed, and a white person had written an article saying that a black person shouldn't defend a white person who was being verbally attacked because they were themselves black and should keep out of it?
Would that have been ok?

Jane10 Fri 17-Apr-15 22:10:28

In the situation l mentioned in my previous post both man and woman were Asian. He was threatening her and trying to prevent her getting in her car and getting away from him. It was late morning in a quiet but central street. Its the only ever time I've done such a thing but I was quite concerned for the woman. I acted without thinking having observed the altercation as I walked along the street. Don't know what I would have done if he'd turned on me. PS I didn't film it and haven't even thought about it until I read this thread !

amarmai Fri 17-Apr-15 23:47:05

good work the woman who intervened. You did what most of us would not have the guts to do.

Eloethan Sat 18-Apr-15 00:33:58

petallus She was expressing her feelings - but what were the feelings of the couple who had been abused?

Couldn't an equally critical article be written if those witnessing the abuse had just looked the other way and done nothing?

thatbags Sat 18-Apr-15 07:21:53

I agree, eloethan. The reason the complaining article was written is not because someone interfered in the couple's defence but because that someone was white. I knew a woman of Asian lineage who was like this. Whites were simply in the wrong whatever they did. Chip. Shoulder.