Gold Diggers

I do not know the full legal situation re properties held in trust for the children but I know a man who lost his wife and was made redundant about a year later.
He lived in Kent at the time.
Half the house was held in trust for the daughter and she was 9 at the time.
The father got another job 70 miles away from home and commuted for a time but he wanted to move nearer his work.
I think there must have been some clause in the trust deed allowing for the house to be sold and replaced with another one.
As it happened they moved at the time the daughter was moving to secondary school.
I am not sure if the daughter could have objected to the sale when she was about 11 but it may have caused problems if she had attained the age of 18 and her name was on the title to the house.

Martin

Lawden, The papers frequently have stories of women cheated out of their wealth by charming plausible men. The male of the species are usually called Con men rather than Gold Diggers

I think the worst situation happened when the lady wanted the man's daughter to leave after she had spent a lot money on the house on the house she jointly owned with her father. This was described in my thread at 19.01 on the 9th of June.
I am sure you are right that there are an equal number of male and female gold diggers.
I am only saying I have not heard of any male gold diggers personally except for the one you have just described.
Like you I am just one person and I will not come accross every situation in the world.

I know a gentleman who remarried at 70, she moved into his house and sold hers, gave her money to her children and subsequently subsidised them from her husband's bank account. After a year or two she claimed the marriage had broken down and departed with anything of value from the property and started proceedings to claim half his very generous pension, court found in her favour even though she had known this man only 3 years.

I know a woman quite well who through friends met a man who eventually moved in with her. He owned two houses but they lived in her house. She eventually found he was having an affair and they broke up. He took her to court and got half her house and half her superannuation. While they had been living together he had unbeknown to her sold his houses. His brother is an accountant and she thinks he helped hide the assets. She had to sell her house and move to another area so she could pay him half her share. She thinks she was basically set up from the beginning.

Of course there are equally male and female people who are dishonest but labelling women gold diggers irritates me. I also find it unfair that people think just because they live with someone for a few years they are entitled to half of the other person"s home. The laws in Australia are getting ridiculous regarding splitting properties after break ups.

Lawden This was all some years ago and I suspect that my signature was forged. I know that 2 of my siblings suddenly went on a spending spree and sort of assumed that something underhand had happened as my brother had already made a fuss about the selling of the house. Subsequently he said that I 'owed Mother' and when asked why he had no answer! When Mother died I was given a disclaimer to sign and did. Money causes so many problems I didn't want to be part of it.

Hi Faye

I have never come across a male Gold Digger but I am sure there must be some.
Another conversation I heard a little while ago a man had recently lost his wife and she had left her half of the house and some other money to the children.
Two ladies were saying to him he could overide the wife's will and leave all the estate to another lady he had befriended.
The man said he did not want to do that and he thought there was no way he could have lawfully done is anyway.
He also said that would have been dishonest even if there was anyway he could legally overide the will.

Hmmm are Gold Diggers only female.

Hi FlicketyB

You said ''Any sensible Gold digger should really bone up on the law of property before embarking on a relationship where they expect to extract money from the unwary. It must be really irritating, having laid your trap and made your claim, only to discover that the money is legally out of reach''.

If the Gold Digger had not done a search at the Land Registry she may have not known the children in effect owned half of the property.

Lawden, If the children were left half the value of the house then they own that half of the house and the father only owns half, so that is all he has at his disposal if a future marriage fails.

While the children are under 18, their share will be in trust and managed for them by the trustees. Their father would probably be one of the trustees, but he would not be the only one, and any decisions would require the agreement of all the trustees and if any decision was reached on the property that was to the children's disadvantage they would be able to sue the trustees for compensation. It is probable that in a case like you describe, if the children were both still under 18 the trustees would block any sale.

Your logical conclusion is absolutely right. She probably thought that if he was a trustee for them, he could do what he liked with the whole property.

Any sensible Gold digger should really bone up on the law of property before embarking on a relationship where they expect to extract money from the unwary. It must be really irritating, having laid your trap and made your claim, only to discover that the money is legally out of reach.

Hi Allison

I do not know the full legalities but wife I knew passed away and I understand her half of the house was left to the 2 children who were under 18 at the time and the children's half was put into trust and a charge was placed on the property in relation to the children's share.
The father got remarried and 3 years later the lady wanted a divorce.
The lady wanted all of the house and by that time one of the children got to the age of 18 and she became a part owner of the house and somehow registered her title and argued she had a right to live there.
I know the father had to give the lady some money but I was told she could not get any of the house as the daughter blocked the sale.
I do not know if the daughter could have blocked the sale if she had been under 18.
By logic however I would have thought that the lady could not have taken any of the children's share as it was not the fathers property to be taken.

Unfortunately this sort of tale is not rare but then never has been. The good thing is you didn't fall for it. I have a friend who was in a similar position but now he's met a lovely lady so don't give up hope.

It works the other way round too. Some years after my father died my mother remarried a man who persuaded her to sell our house which was actually held in trust for her 4 children. I don't know whether my siblings benefitted from the sale but I didn't and my mother lost everything to this man before they divorced. She ended up living in sheltered council accommodation.

Those of us with strong values find this sort of thing hard to understand but there are selfish people everywhere and it does seem that as we get older some of us become more selfish so beware all of you.

Penmana just bear in mind that there are unselfish lovely people out there who would love to be interested in your family as well as their own. Keep positive.

Well, penman

You seem to be two people. On the other thread ( moving in with father ) you sound like a very clued up guy.
On this thread you are a person who does not know A fromB.
The two don't go together.

Hi Ella46

I can only agree with what you are saying.
It was not however me wanting to move on in the relationship it was the 2 ladies.
We are a close family and I think it would make little difference if I got married again and therefore I have not got any intention of doing so.
If I did I would want to ensure all of my assetts would go to my children or grandchildren.
I do however pay my way etc when I was with these ladies.
Another thing I was a bit annoyed about was I was supposed to go and watch their grandson's go and play cricket or football but I was not supposed to go and watch my grandaughters play netball or hockey etc.
Oddly enough I think my grandaughters know a lot more about football and cricket than I know about hockey or netball but I feel it is one of my duties as a grandad to give them my support even though I often have to ask them questions about the game after.

I think the advice is the same that you would give your children.Don't rush into anything, get to know someone well before moving on in the relationship. Six months isn't long enough!
I think a lot of men don't like being on their own and having to look after themselves, and therein lies the problem.

I will not go into detail as I will only be repeating PENMANA'S story.
My father befriended a lady about 6 months after my mother passed away but the friendship only lasted 2 months.
I inherited my mother's half of the house and she suddenly said if my father married her my half would have to be returned to my father and the house would be half her property and half his property.
Legally she was not correct and my father realised she was just after money and finished with her immediately.

In another case in our family the daughter lived with the father and she inherited her mother's half of the house.
She sold her house and spent several thousand £'s on improvements / repairs to the house she owned with her father.
The father befriended a lady and just at the time the repairs etc had been completed and paid for by the daughter she demanded she left.
I do not know if she knew the daughter owned half of the property and could not be thrown out but the father was very upset that the lady wanted his daughter to leave and he again terminated his friendship with that lady.
Sadly the father has now passed away but the woman came back demanding her share of the estate but went away empty handed,

I can't imagine a situation where I would ask a fairly recent partner to change their will in favour of my offspring! Even if i had re-married someone with children of their own I would not expect to disinherit them! Unpleasant and selfish women I say! There are lots of self respecting women who would not think of doing such a thing.

Not every body wants to live in a semi plus garage,when our DCs where still at home we lived in a very sort after area in a very large detached + 2 garage property but as soon as the youngest DS2 left home when he joined the Military we sold up (at the time when property was as it's highest ) and we now live in a one bed apartment which suits our needs very well it also enables us to have a very comfortable lifestyle,why would I want to clean and heat a big house and tend a large garden no thank you,I think PENMANA you have been unfortunate in the women you have met up with as not all women are the same,I would not care how well off a person was I take as I find and anyway I have my own means of income,I would not expect to get into conversation with any future partner with regard to finances as it would't concern me.

Hi Ella

You said '' just be careful ''.
I thought as these ladies had similar houses to mine they were not likely to want to get their estate mixed up with mine but clearly I was wrong.
The problem is there is no way to tell who is being genuine and who is not.
Also having a nice house does not prove that you are in a good financial state and living in a modest house does not mean you do not have wealth.
Somebody I worked with who was earning about double the amount I was earning lived in a 2 up 2 down terrace house and always had a car under 3 years old but it was always something like a base model fiesta.
He never got married.
He went on several nice holidays however and always went to a carvery which tend to be cheaper than plush restaurants when he went out.
That life obviously suited him but I would have thought he would have had a semi detached house with a garage as a mininium.
As far as I know he lived well within his means and never tried scrounging off anybody.

Penmana How horrible for you to have been so unlucky. I share the same opinion as whenim64 and love living alone.
It is very easy to become cynical and bitter after bad experiences as I know only too well, but there are lots of nice, decent people out there, so don't give up hope, just be very careful!
Good luck

I know someone that happened to - friend of a friend. He died and his ex (not divorced, separated for many years) got the lot. Poor current partner turfed out of her house and home. The ex frittered every penny away, lots of hangers-on taking everything they could get their hands on - she now lives in poverty. All for want of making some arrrangements.

Something I have heard that can happen is that a widow/widower remarries and doesn't write a new will. That means that when they die everything goes to the new spouse as apparently a will becomes invalid when you marry. I have promised to come back and haunt DH if he does that! Don't mind him marrying as long as our children still inherit.

johanna I thought I'd tone it down as I don't want to offend Penmana, but, yes! that's what I really meant

whenim
..substitute mother... I think you mean housekeeper.