Grannygee
Hello Phyllida, Dementia seems to crop up all over the place nowadays and I'm glad (not that dementia is around of course) because my dad has developed it and once one is affected by something one suddenly develops a huge interest! That's life. Anyway, I have a big worry with my dad and that is my mum! she too is frail at 83 and gets confused herself, but I think she can be quite hard on my dad and blames him for any domestic issue that goes wrong. I do love mum and she has many fine qualities but we all think she has always taken my dad for granted. He drives still (passed his test again this year) and has been her taxi all their married life. I just wish she could find some tenderness again towards dad whose short term memory has gone, hence she gets so very frustrated with him. It must be so waring to live with it and although we are only 15 minutes away we are not actually living with dad so who are we to judge mum really. I wish that I could persuade her to lighten up a bit becasue these are their last few years together now. It'll be their diamond wedding in June (for which I'm planning a surprise party) and that's no mean feat these days! I wanted to ask you, should I address dad about his dementia i.e.talk to him about how he feels about it as he doesn't say anything but I wonder, Phyllida, did you talk to your mum about it before she became too ill and what advice from your experience could you impart? Any would be gratefully received. Thank you. By the way my cousin in Scotland met Emma walking her dog whilst up in the highlands and they exchanged a few words
You don't want to be told you've got something, do you? I suppose you could ask him if he's worried about anything and would he like to see the doctor, but otherwise he could be very hurt and worried. He probably is now. I think we all need reassurance and encouragement and, Heaven help us, just sheer kindness. It's terribly difficult.
I didn't really talk to my mother about it. I didn't want to frighten her. I just thought up treats. I think you should be given a medal. Two is too many.