BRAVE

can I add my own thought as someone who has also been on the receiving end of such heartfelt messages for the same reason.
Brave to me means someone who chooses to commit an act of bravery to help save or enhance the life of another.
To suffer the loss of any child I think stoicism,and acceptance happen after a period of time when anger grieving and disbelief have abated and strength from inner resources help you to tread daily around the huge hole left in your life
can I offer my own sincere thanks for the warmth and support offered by so many of you who are battling your own demons and losses

pxxxxxx

Two posts that I think will give strength to others.
Thank you for this.

downtoearth , thank you for your post, and thank you also for your so very well expressed good wishes, to those experiencing the loss, and also to those who offer their love and support.

Heavens, if we carry on like this it will end up as "thank you for thanking me!"

I'm sure that those members who "know" me, will take that in the spirit in which it's meant.

Enough already!

down help you to tread daily around the huge hole in your life is a beautiful expression.

I am in the position currently of supporting my sis whose eldest son is now in truly "borrowed time" with terminal cancer. In the midst of all the heartache and sadness, I find that she is my focus. In some way, this thread has helped me to understand what she will be facing and feeling as the mother of a child that is no longer here.

It is indeed a good place to be (here) where troubles can be shared, and friendship felt. Long may it reign.

These posts have brought tears to my eyes. I am nowhere near as eloquent as down but just wanted to say that my heart goes out to all of you trying to keep going in such heartbreaking situations and love x

To all in this position - ♥ and

Beautiful posts. I agree with everything Phoenix says about the word brave. Fortunately I haven't lost a child myself but I have lost a much loved nephew (who was 16) to leukaemia and I happened to be visiting him when he passed away. Were his parents brave? They had no choice. I know there were times when they didn't want to go on but they had another small child. My nephew's mother died suddenly of a heart attack at the age of 49 a few years later. The stress of her son's death was too much for her we believe (plus she was a heavy smoker). This forum is indeed a great help to people. I know it has been for me in the past. for all who are struggling.

I did look it up Phoenix and brave has many meanings besides the physically brave - including brightly coloured and native North American. I suppose we've been going with the 'Endure or withstand with courage' definition.

You may not agree! But you still all have my admiration and respect as I'm sure I wouldn't cope very well at all!

Thank you

Can I offer a different view on this subject which is acceptance. In certain situations, loss for instance, this will have to come after terrible grief, but bravery comes in many forms. I am thinking of terminal illness, by the patient and the loved ones, living through it knowing what is going to happen,the loss of partners which doesn't mean death, separation from family and lots of other situations. In the end we have to accept what has happened. Acceptance of all these situations may be considered brave but it is doing the only thing most people will consider, as the alternative is too awful to contemplate.

annsixty you are of course right in so many ways. When you say that the alternative is too awful to contemplate I get so tired of telling doctors, consultants etc when they ask me "do you ever contemplate suicide?" NO I would never do that, because having had to deal with the fact that my 19 year old son hanged himself, I would never put the rest of my family through the aftermath of a suicide, with all the bloody heart wrenching that follows.