Why don't people die anymore?

It isn't just 'passed away'. The awful American euphemism 'passed' is now becoming common currency.

FlicketyB I think "died" is better. The more euphemisms we use, the more we ourselves are adding to the idea that we must not talk about the subject at all.

DGS, sixteen so not a small child, announced the other day that someone they knew had 'passed'. When I said, 'Do you mean he's dead?' I got a telling off from DD.

I used to love my Yorkshire MIL's bluntness. When telling DH his favourite uncle had died she said, 'We'll be burying our Fred next week!'

. . . . . and why do the tv/radio presenters say, "so and so dies at the age of" instead of, "so and so died at the age of" Or should that be on Pedants' Corner thread?!

Is it because death is not something that many people are involved with during much of their lives (if they are fortunate)? My mother spoke of a class-mate who died of diphtheria and I had one who died of leukaemia. We were a generation of people who were immunised against some horrible diseases, and today's children are immunised against even more. DD had a friend who had leukaemia, was treated and is now a successful engineer. Grandparents are living longer, in general, and many people die in hospital, not at home. The dead are kept in undertakers' premises, not at home, before the funeral. Apart from accidents, death is not as much a part of everyday life as it once was, and so the euphemisms abound to describe the unfamiliar. I too hate them!

I assumed it had changed because it helped people? It takes to take the edge off dying for some people, by saying, passed away. It eases the initial shock for some people.

I use euphemisms for death. I say passed away, passed over or lost. I use them for other things to like time of the month. It's just the way I was brought up. I agree with soontobe in that euphemisms take the edge off.

It's not that I can't accept that people die. I just prefer to say they've passed away.

Yes, that's a personal choice for those who feel more comfortable with the euphemisms, and although I don't agree with you, I can respect your right to use them. It's different for newspapers and broadcasters though, I think. Too often, IMO, they don't just report things, they feel that they have to over-interpret them too.

People are often shocked that my five year old grandson talks of death in a very pragmatic way. He knows that close family members are dead and for his age has a very good grasp of the finality of the state of death. It has been very helpful for him to have a good understanding of the rituals of death and dying and he talks quite freely of people who have died. Many people though are uncomfortable when he does so and have tried to persuade him not to talk about such things or to use 'gentler' language as one person put it. I think the language people use depends on many things and it's very much a personal choice influenced by tradition and familiarity as much as anything.
We buried (will be burying) so and so is still a typical way of announcing a death in my Lancashire based family.

Some euphemisms can be confusing. A woman I knew years ago used to take her elderly mother for a walk along the footpath at the bottom of our garden. I would often pop out for a chat because the old lady used to enjoy making a fuss of DD's pony.

On day the woman knocked on my door and said, 'I've lost mother'. I quickly grabbed my coat and said, 'Hang on, I'll help you look for her.'

Oh dear.....did I feel silly when the penny dropped!

A recently bereaved person can find it easier to use a euphemism as stating the fact bluntly can have them breaking down in tears. I say that from my own experience.

When DH died, I told people that he had 'died' because that is what had happened. I don't like prissy euphemisms. Perhaps if you are religious you believe that the dead person 'passes' from one place to another? I don't know. My grandchildren talk in a very matter of fact way about Grandad being dead. One in particular, aged 4, will often inform me that 'grandad is dead'. Perhaps it upsets some people, but I believe, in most situations, in calling a spade a shovel and not pussyfooting about.

A little light relief......

www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YFRUSTiFUs

My husband died three years ago. My grandchildren have always said he died. I'm with you, Marmight.

I do not understand, Katek. Why do we need light relief on this topic?

I am also a fan of not pussy-footing around, in general. When I was recently bereaved, tho, and trying to hold it together I found the odd euphemism came in handy.

I thought the clip was funny, Katek. No one has to watch it if they think it's inappropriate to laugh at ourselves...

The 'lost' euphemism is so confusing I agree merlotgran. I agree with previous posters that 'died' is much less open to misunderstanding. My 5 year old GS is currently fascinated by the concept of death and does not know any euphemisms, so much easier to discuss at that age.

While I was Nursing I looked after the elderly with dementia. Occasionally I would have the sad and unpleasant task of informing relatives that their parent had died suddenly. It was the worst part of the job. I never beat about the bush and always said that I was very sorry to have to tell them that x had died, usually peacefully and in their sleep. I don't like euphemisms either.

Just my opinion Jen. People can say passed, passed away, died, pushing up the daisies, gone beyond the veil, at peace or gone to join the choir celestial - whatever they want it's their choice. Personally I opt for died, but don't think there's any problem with poking a little gentle fun at ourselves.

Must say I thought this thread would be about something else.
About how some people are kept alive at all costs, whatever the quality of life, because that is what is expected nowadays. And I personally think this is much more of an 'issue' than whatever words are used.

We so often read here about ageism, about poor care for the elderly- but truly, I think too often it is the other way round- especially here where I live. It was the case for my mum- and is now the case for an old lady I got to know well when my parents were int he same OAP home. She is now being kept alive by any means possible- and I so wish they could let her go and have some peace.

I usually say 'died' but would use a euphemism if talking to someone who had recently suffered a bereavement, thinking that they might not be ready for the blunter version. And to those people who say We will be burying so and so next Thursday, how do you cope with a cremation?

I would only say 'died' - but I did like John le Mesurier's death notice, that he wrote himself, that said he had 'conked out'!

This is Pedant' Corner granjura.