Best chat up line ... what's yours?

I say, you don't sweat much for a fat bird, do you?

greatnan for the Scouse chat. Re 'put down' lines to objectionable men ... one of my all time favourites was in a movie - for the life of me can't remember which one:

A man in a lift exposes himself to the slightly careworn woman who gets in the lift carrying a laundry basket. She glances at him, looks ahead again and without missing a beat says "Why, it looks just like a ***, only smaller".

I was sitting alone in the bar of Loews Hotel, Monte Carlo, nursing a glass of champagne, when a man took the stool next to me and said 'You look as lonely as I feel'. We spent the night together but I can't report any heart-warming story as his girl friend came back from Paris the next day - he had forgotten to mention her.

The worst chat up line I was offered was from a slightly drunk , overweight man at a singles' dance. He said very proudly 'I have a 40 year old wife and a 20 year old girlfriend' to which I replied 'What do you want, an OBE?'

My sister used to love my 'put down' lines to objectionable men - she said she could never think of anything quickly enough.

The archetypal Scouse conversation goes:

You dancing?
You asking?
I'm asking.
I'm dancing.

Scene: Forces' Boxing Day dance, 1944

Young Coastal Command officer approaches very young WAAF who is standing alone on the sidelines.

"Are you dancing?" he asks.

"Does if xxxxxxx look like it?" she replies.

"Please will you dance with me then?" he persists.

"No," she says, playing hard to get.

"Well will you sleep with me instead?"

Her answer is unprintable but they married the following year, had me in 1946 and spent over 60 idyllic years together.

Party on 5 Nov '66, pouring with rain, fireworks cancelled.
He said,' Damp squibs out there but I'm still sparking, wanna dance?,'...
We did and we always have fireworks on Guy Fawkes night to celebrate!

My friend set us up on a date and we went to see Dr Zhivago. At the interval he asked 'Would you like an icecream?'
'Yes please' I replied
'I'll come with you' he said
I should have known! But we've managed to remain married for 42 years [hmmm]

In the bar of a campsite in the Languedoc region of France. Husband had gone back to the tent for something and I drank my drink while the barman, a local, chatted me up:

Him: "Madame, I have a deep and undying love for you"

Me (startled): "Pardon m'sieu?"

He repeated what I thought I'd heard him say.

Me (quietly and to myself "hahahahahaha!!"): "Merci m'sieu!"

Husband returned & continued to chat in Franglais to barman while I couldn't wait for us to finish our drinks & get outside so I could have a proper laugh and tell him about it.

It was quite flattering in a way though, I have to admit.

Going to the bar on entering the pub with boyfriend -

Him "What would you like to drink?"
Me "I'd like something new and exciting"

Tall, dark and handsome man turns from bar, gives devastating smile and says "You could try me!" Blush, blush blush.

(I had my usual babycham)

" I'm good at reading maps, I will navigate " we were on a car rally.

Pants on fire, Robin Hood was a myth.

A very tall dark and handsome young man who could trace his family back to Nottingham and Lincs told me he was very probably related to Robin Hood. I have always had a thing about men in green tights so we have been happily married for almost 37 years.

Not a chat up line but my husband's proposal.

When's you next Saturday off?

Next week.

We could buy an engagement ring then!

His car then developed a problem and he said;

We will have to spend less on the ring as I am not sure how much the repairs will cost!

We got engaged, married and have two daughters and five grandchildren. We have been married 41 years this year. And he is still very practical.

So long ago since I was chatted up forgotten them[wry smile]

'Bet you dont see many lads in their under pants' been married 36 yrs.

I was in a needle work class at school and the teacher asked if I could repair a pair of lads trousers as they had split, and I still cant sew!!!

.... and .... Jess!

Met my DH on a training course. He later said "I sat next to you because you were the only woman. Bound to be more interesting than all those engineers"
And he was more interesting than they were too.
Worst chat up line - invisible man in a crowded steam room in Swansea leisure centre, through the mist: "Oy love, do you think I am overweight?"

I can't remember a chat up line that impressed me or worked. I do remember collapsing in hysterics when some fool of man perfectly seriously said to me "With legs like that you must be an air hostess". What on earth was he thinking?

'I'll drive you home, you've had a bit too much to drink.' Mind you, so had he...

'Can I have a lift home, my car's got a flat tyre?' We've been married 44 yrs and I'm still driving him about

Oh, nellie - the old ones are always the best!

Get yer coat you,ve pulled Ilford palais circa 1969 ....

Freshers' Dance at college, I was approached by a student a little shorter in stature than me and was advised if I removed my shoes he would dance with me!

Obviously the chat-up line worked as we married and had three children!

I had admired him from afar and when, at coffee time, he asked if he could tempt me with some cake, I used the Oscar Wilde line "I can resist anything but temptation". He replied that he was very pleased to hear it, and then .......