how to please your husband

Feeling wanted is pleasing.

I think we have discovered before, TriciaF that our husbands are quite similar.

Though the way to his heart, first and foremost is the classic stomach!

But yes, my husband is the same or worse.
In my case though, a] I actually am quite hopeless so I do need him. But b] alarmingly, I came to realise after a few years that he is largely unwilling to teach me, so that I remain hopeless, so he can "rescue" me. Oh well.

I agree Tricia My DH is SO pleased when I ask him to help me with something. I am very much a coper (because I have had to be) so he is chuffed to bits when Iask him for help.

Yep, my DH is the same. This morning we had been tidying up in the garden and I was dragging the heavy green bin out. He rushed over and said 'why didn't you let me do that?' I replied that I was perfectly capable of doing it so no need. He replied that he knew I was capable but sometimes maybe I could pretend that I'm not !

No- OH has always realised I am very independent and always respected (and I'd say perhaps admired) that. Including when I decided to go to Uni when our youngest started school, chose to go and study in Berlin and travel with friends. I'm afraid I'd hate to 'pretend' (same in the bedroom btw ;) ).

I am quite independent but I know DH does like to do the "strong man", bless him. I have nothing against that, quite happy to be a weak woman when it suits me.

My husband isn't handy but once in awhile can find a way to help me. Most times we are clueless together!

Our roles are reversed atm, I can't even get dressed by myself, but Mrs P is also poorly, so I feel real bad about the situation. Hate having to depend on someone else for basic things.

Same here; mine isn't practical either, but he is always happy to have a go, and even though I can usually think of a way to do it better, the best way to please him is to keep my mouth shut and not to stand in his way. But really, the best way to please him is not to take him out of his comfort zone too often. He will bend over backward to do things that I want to do, but they are usually situations he would run a mile from. I am naturally sociable and he is not, but he does try - for me.

* wobbly* you sound very down this morning. I hope you and Mrs P feel better soon. Come virtual fishing with me! We'll sit in a boat on the res all day and put the world to rights. Might even catch one or two! XXxx.

Not been out in a boat for ages, too clumsy for my own safety now. Loved being out on Hanningfield res in a boat. Yes we are both down atm. Mrs P has a groin strain that is not improving and is struggling to walk, my hip is extremely painful and I am also struggling to walk, I suspect the cartilage has broken down, had xray this morning.

My DH likes to feel needed and that he is caring for me and being protective and despite his best efforts to keep me from harm I still run into trouble from time to time. He is a born husband does all the things one might expect from a good husband- I don't deserve him really but he is enslaved to my fatal charm!!

Mr glamma has certainly proved himself this past 12mths since I shattered my shoulder joint last year,he has taken up all the household tasks and how well he has coped with them,he has always been hands on but he has really done well even down to drying my hair and learning how to do a pony-tail plus he has had to take over all the driving as I have no strength in my right arm and he would worry if I went out in my car on my own,such a treasure I'm lucky to have him.

To allow him to buy another gadget he won't use

From this thread it looks as if chaps like to feel needed and manly. My DH certainly likes to look after me and I sometimes feel a bit smothered as I am very independent and like to do things for myself. However, there are some things at which I cannot compete and am really grateful for his help: driving long distances, navigating (I can do it but I don't like to), some house maintenance. We both like to have an equal relatonship full of candour and we love our private jokes and coinciding insights.

Advice from my Granny aged 91 just before she died in 1984 "always let him think he's in charge but ensure you are" !

If I want a job doing which is beyond me or more my husband's expertise, I start doing it, get stuck and then ask for his help so he takes over. It works so much better than nagging.

That said, I have decided that if I ever go looking for a new man, I am going to act helpless as it hasn't always paid to be "able" in diy, etc. It just means there is an expectation I will do them!

I've just discovered the "5 languages of love" - a revelation.
www.iacac.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/D31-I-Hate-Your-Job-The-5-Love-Languages.pdf

DD accidentally discovered clever ploy - painted sample colours on wall and found that slightly OCD hubby couldn't handle, so he insisted on completing the job immediately.

Got rid of mine years ago. Useless in every way.

Give him an unexpected cuddle or a kiss on the head when he is sitting in his chair, it even wakes him up so a win, win situation?

Only way to please mine was to feed him, remove the children from earshot and never ask him what else he was up to when he went off for weekends and holidays with his mountain climbing club.

I'd go for the unexpected hug or kiss

Stop breathing ! !