In my experience, being a paternal grandmother is definitely a minefield. I have 3 sons; the nearest is 50 miles away and the other two 250 miles away, about 5 hours by train or car. Only one has children (a GD aged 2½ and a new born GS) and, you guessed it, he is 250 miles away. This means that I have to stay over if I visit but, although they have a spare room, they cannot accommodate me and I have to stay in a b&b. I live by the sea and thought they would like to spend holidays with me but they prefer Portugal or Tenerife and have shared holidays there with my DiL’s family and friends. I have just returned from a 3 day visit to my GS: only 2 weeks old so perhaps it was unreasonable of me to visit so soon. Sadly, they were very busy during the day with all the activities that GD has to do (nursery, tumble tots, swimming) and I had to leave at GD’s bed time so there wasn’t much time for getting to know each other. We did go out for a meal one evening, which I appreciated, and I played with my GD and cuddled my GS at every available opportunity but my DS and DiL were too busy to do more than glance at the presents I took, even the little coat that I had knitted. (I didn’t say anything but this was the first knitting project I had completed for years and I put my heart and soul into it. ) I have Skype but don’t find it very successful and they don’t seem to have time to use it. My DiL’s parents live about 15 minutes away and are very close. They looked after my GD while my DiL was working and my DiL’s father, a keen DIYer, has helped my DS to replumb, rewire etc. Don’t get me wrong, my DiL’s parents are very nice people and I am glad my DS has been welcomed into such a close and loving family but I feel that I have no place in his life. I’m not sure how close my DS is to his own father, my ex, as no one ever talks to me about him and we have no contact. He lives about 30 miles from me and is married to a lady who is close to her own 2 DDs and GC. I’m on my own and, although I am pretty independent, keep busy and have many friends, I feel horribly left out of my own family.