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Just In Case?

(23 Posts)
HollyDaze Wed 01-Oct-14 13:59:14

I read in the newspaper yesterday that OnePoll did some research and discovered that more than half of all wives have a stand-by man in mind in case their marriage ends either through divorce or death. The 'candidate' is likely to be an old friend, a former boyfriend, colleague or someone they met at the gym.

Have you ever had a standby man in mind? I never have and in Birmingham, I had many friends and acquaintances but I don't ever recall any of them mentioning anything like this (other than some film or pop star fantasy).

Also - how can they know that 'more than half of all wives' are doing it? Wouldn't they have to actually ask all wives first?

kittylester Wed 01-Oct-14 14:00:55

I might have had in the dim distant past but I can't remember!! grin

What a stupid article.

janerowena Wed 01-Oct-14 14:35:45

I think men are more likely to do that. I have had friends who are supposedly on short breaks from their spouses, only to find that another woman has been around in their absence. In my own case, when I left ex, it only took him three weeks to move an 'old friend' into our house. I think women are more careful about who they let into their children's lives.

Grannyknot Wed 01-Oct-14 14:47:07

What ...?! I can barely cope with No. 1 husband!

I agree with Jane - I'm often amazed at the speed with which men "replace". Generalisation, I know.

Slightly off topic ... I fleetingly noticed in one of the articles (haven't read them all, or the thread on here, because too upsetting) that Lynda Bellingham has said that as happy as her marriage is and as much as she loves her husband, she will be making sure that her children inherit from her in posterity and that their inheritance can't be touched by a new wife who has her own ideas about what happens to the money. In other words, she was sorting out a watertight will. I can't tell you how many times I've seen the children from a first marriage cut out by a new love and new family.

gillybob Wed 01-Oct-14 14:53:34

There is no way on this earth I would ever want/need another man.

Firstly I have been married three times already. Quite enough thank you.
Secondly I love the one I have too much to want to replace him. blush

henetha Wed 01-Oct-14 14:59:32

Seems incredible to me. I find it very hard to believe. Surely OnePoll's question must have been somehow loaded?

FlicketyB Wed 01-Oct-14 15:07:08

When life went through a phase when I knew quite a number of people whose marriages were ending in divorce. I commented to a friend that having got used to DH and all his irritating little ways I really couldn't be bothered to swap him for another model that meant that I would have to get used to a different set of irritating little ways.

I have never had reason to think otherwise and as for having a possible substitute waiting in the wings.......................

Hollydaze you ask 'Also - how can they know that 'more than half of all wives' are doing it? Wouldn't they have to actually ask all wives first?'

The answer is no, they do not. Without going into the depths of statistics it is possible to calculate a sample size that, if the sample is randomly selected, you can calculate with what degree of accuracy any sample of that size will produce the more or less the same result and will be representative of the whole population. I still have, from my market research day a little wheel that told me the size sample I needed for a total population I specified and the degree of accuracy I would accept. It is surprising how accurate quite a small sample can be.

Having said this a lot of the polls carried out on subjects like this are not based on properly drawn up samples, the wording of their questionnaires is dubious and the final results, when they get into the hands of journalists working for the popular papers can be misreported and distorted to get a good story and headline.

Elegran Wed 01-Oct-14 15:18:31

It is the kind of thing that people have probably never thought about, and then when they are asked the question by one of these polls, they give a cheeky answer.

It is, of course, a lot easier to get a man if you already have one, and we all probably know men who (if we found ourselves in the position of needing a new one badly enough) would be happy to strep into the vacancy. Don't we? That is not the same as havbing a spare tucked away ready for use!

Teetime Wed 01-Oct-14 15:31:18

There's an old flame I might fan into life if push came to shove.

gillybob Wed 01-Oct-14 15:34:34

It is, of course, a lot easier to get a man if you already have one,

A bit like finding a new job Elegran

IMO. A man in the hand is worth two in the bush ! grin

absent Wed 01-Oct-14 19:42:52

gillybob That - your last sentence - is undoubtedly the wickedest pun I have ever seen on Gransnet. grin

merlotgran Wed 01-Oct-14 19:57:50

gillybob grin

HollyDaze Wed 01-Oct-14 20:07:26

Thank you for explaining that FlicketyB - does behaviour change from region to region? Just curious.

That is not the same as havbing a spare tucked away ready for use!

That's the bit that puzzled me - for that scenario to work, it does seem that men have to be content to be hidden away somewhere and wait for the off-chance that your marriage comes to an end!

annodomini Wed 01-Oct-14 20:12:44

No - I didn't and I wouldn't. I'm a 'once bitten, twice shy' person.

petallus Wed 01-Oct-14 20:18:08

If any of us did have a 'spare' would we be inclined to mention it on GN?

Ana Wed 01-Oct-14 20:43:53

The title of this thread keeps making me think of Justin Case, the pop-up man in a suitcase marketed some years ago which was designed to sit in the passenger seat of lone female drivers! grin

Starling Thu 02-Oct-14 15:15:51

gillybob your pun has amused me for 24 hours now blush

tanith Thu 02-Oct-14 15:27:05

Many years ago I met someone long before I had the courage to break up my marriage to an alcoholic, he gave me the courage to do what I had known in my heart should of happened 10yrs previously.

Love that pun gillybob

Ariadne Thu 02-Oct-14 15:35:26

gillybob grin

tanith Thu 02-Oct-14 15:38:47

oh my I'd forget my head if it wasn't screwed on!!!!

Should of added we will of been married 20yrs soon so I guess he was my stand by man.

sparkygran Thu 02-Oct-14 18:26:33

Nice one gillybob am still chuckling grin

janeainsworth Thu 02-Oct-14 19:37:43

Gillybob totally shock at you! grin

Purpledaffodil Thu 02-Oct-14 20:00:57

Tee hee gillybob. I shall add it to my other favourite. "A hard man is good to find" shock