Can't know the truth - feeling gobsmacked

I wonder (cynically) whether he was telling you before you heard it from another source? Getting his version in first, so to speak?

There would not be a court case unless they were unsuitable images of children would there?

Your DD obviously believes him but I would be running a mile. However, if you say anything she will probably defend him and that could upset your relationship with her.
Has she got other friends you/she could talk to? She may listen to them.

Oh dear nitwit I feel so sorry for you. What a dilemma. I'd have a thousand questions e.g. how come the police investigated him? There seems to be more to this than meets the eye IMHO.

As you say, he may be telling the truth. Or he may not.

I would though be making it crystal clear to your daughter that she is welcome back at your place whatever happens, one way or another.
You would not want her thinking that she is not welcome back at home.

What sort of art class was it?

What I would want to know, if you think he is telling the truth, did he know there were images on his computer and why didn't he report it. One of the ways people who download these images are caught is because they pay for them using their Visa cards. Whose card was used if the images were paid for? You must be terribly disappointed that there is this problem. We all want our children to be happy!

My brother was sent images once and he didn't know who sent them (unknown email address) but he immediately phoned the police and sent them on to them so they could investigate. He wanted nothing to do with them.

It was just a normal art class, with clothed models, usually old ladies, or men.

Soutra I think you may be right - not an admission of guilt in itself, though.

The offence was spotted because a picture was uploaded, rather than downloaded, which raised an alert somewhere.
I do wonder where that picture came from and if there are any clues to be found from it, and whether that is being thoroughly investigated.

Faye He said he had no idea the pictures were there. That's a good point about payment, though.

I do have a thousand questions and was hoping to ask DD a few of them if she comes home for a bit on her own, or ask both of them together if that's the way it works out, all while trying not to sound accusing - not easy.

DD doesn't have many friends, because of not being able to go out much due to the M.E. I don't think she really knows anyone she would trust, who also has known the BF while this has happened.
I'm very reluctant to talk to anyone I know about it, which is why I thought of posting here. Many thanks for the helpful replies.

I think this definitely raises a lot more questions.
On a different note ( sorry for digressing):
A number of years ago I asked a colleague to look up TED stocking on the Internet (anti-embolytic stockings), because I couldn't get a consensus on just how long patients post -operatively had to wear them (each consultant seemed to have a different opinion).
The screams from her office arose from typing in Ted Stockings......the images were highly explicit (I'll leave the rest to your imaginations)
Working at a hospital this totally innocent incident was picked up by IT and I had to explain myself...........
He may have an innocent explanation but....?

loopy that happened to me. I was working for an addictions psychiatrist and he asked me to look something up online (I shan' t go into any more detail here). It was picked up by IT in the Trust where we worked and I had to explain myself too. There I was waiting to be interviewed by HR - me and a bunch of men, all "nicked". I was absolved of any guilt.

NittWitt how were the images found on his computer in a private house? Either the police searched the house because of a tip off, or they had been monitoring networks of paedophiles exchanging abusive images and an officer joined in online chat to see what would happen i.e. offers to buy or exchange images. Bigger networks are illustrated on wall maps in the Abusive Images Unit and anyone who joins these networks risks being tracked and arrested, small fish in a big pond or not. This young man is minimising what he has been involved in. Even if he suspected someone else of using his computer to access abusive images (the most common excuse offered, by the way) how would anyone know if he just deleted them and kept his computer password protected?

He claims that an image was uploaded, which triggered some sort of official alert. (I don't know if that is how things work.)
Police then searched his computer and found downloaded images.
He claims that he knew nothing about any of this until police found it.

I don't know if his computer was password protected but he says that people often asked to use it and he let them.

What a dreadful dilemma for you. You can only speculate really - and in the middle of this all you want is for your DD to be happy. Itou have all my sympathy. must be so hard for you. You have all my sympathy.

Clothed models -even unclothed models would not constitute unsuitable images. As I understand it, pornography, unless involving children or animals is not illegal. Something is not right here , you may wish to know the truth or you may not. Either way I would be wary. Perhaps I am a prude but I would not even be happy about a DD's BF having pornography on his computer.
At best he has been foolish, but as we say in Scotland, "ah hae mah doots!"

My heart says don't trust him an inch. My mind says innocent until proven guilty. When is the court case?

Either way your DD will have to decide for herself whether or not she's going to stay with him. No matter how you feel about him you must accept that but make it clear that she is always welcome even if he isn't and that if she ever changes her mind she has a home with you.

Something similar happened in my family. The man put in your own word was sent to prison but my cousin wouldn't accept he was guilty and stood by him. We were all horrified and couldn't understand her. He was released after six years and shortly after he came out he re-offended, was again found guilty and sent back to prison. This time she saw him for what he is and left him. Because she knew it was safe to do so she turned to the family for support and of course received it.

Wow - all of a sudden it's all over!

DD came home at the weekend, fully intending to go back to the BF's place in a couple of days but today there has been a lot of to & fro with text, facebook & phoning and the end result is that she has dumped him.

I think she still believes his version about the computer images but had other differences with him that I don't fully know about.

Anyway, I am heartily relieved and thank you all for your support when I was really worried.

Vampirequeen said My heart says don't trust him an inch. My mind says innocent until proven guilty. and that's how I felt. The court case is due in April and I'll be looking out for a report of it in the local papers.

What a relief for you. ME is an awful thing to have and your daughter has enough problems without having someone like that in her life.

I do hope your daughter isn't persuaded back into this relationship Nittwitt. The "I didn't know it was on my computer" defence isn't reassuring is it. Sending best wishes to you and your daughter

Phew! Can't help being relieved for you and DD. Best wishes to you x

Phew indeed!

Thank goodness, and hope she doesn't wobble!

No, DD is quite decisive about these things. I'm sure he'll stay dumped!

Thanks again for all the kind thoughts. I genuinely didn't expect any answers so it was lovely to find that I had a bunch of friends backing me up when I had been feeling completely at a loss.
to all

I guess many of us have DDs and can imagine how we'd feel, certainly set alarm bells ringing for me.
Wishing you both all the best x

"He claims that an image was uploaded, which triggered some sort of official alert. (I don't know if that is how things work.)"

That doesn't sound right to me, the police have no connection to any ones home computer.

A warrant would have to be granted to even search premises and a good reason would need to be presented to the court to get the warrant.

My son quite often does remote work on my computer if something goes wrong, but I have to open an application allowing him to do this, he can't just get into my computer.

Something is not right.

Here's another possibilty. Wifi bandits. If an ususpecting victim' s internet is unsecured, a criminal can steal access, download and move on. The police in a documentary recently admitted that there was a problem were peodophiles trawl the streets in vehicles scanning for unsecured net access. They also used a group of young professionals in London's cafe culture to demonsrtate how hackers can take over their laptops/tablets remotely to their unscrupulous advantage. There was lots more in this documentary on computer crime, but thats all I recall.

That's a horrendous thought, alex. Especially with all the free wi-fi access available all over the place. Who knows if the network is secured when you stay in a B&B, for example.