Dating Websites

I have no experience but I do have some insight from a single friend. She has had many luncheon dates where she meets men in a public place she picks. Even at our age most of these men seem to expect her to take them to her home! She does her best to get to know them on line and on the phone. Also just because someone has a profile picture doesn't mean they are who they say. They could be a " fake" person from another country or up to no good. Too many strange people in this world. She's even had men say they aren't married and are. She's good at catching these men in lies. I'm in the US so I'm not aware of a dating site where you are. Just please be careful! I'm surprised she is still trying. Oh! Once she had a man send her a message saying good morning! And it was 10:30 at night! There is no way to know for sure if they even live where they say!

A couple of people I know use the Guardian Sole Mates pages as a means of finding potential partners.
If I was single and in the unlikely event I decided I'd like to meet someone, I'd join the ramblers, take up painting, creative writing or some other activity where there'd be a remote chance I'd meet someone with whom I shared common interests. I'm very wary of dating sites, though two close friends did meet through the GSM 20 years ago and are one of the happiest couples I know.

- I meant soul mates of course, not shoe mates

An erstwhile girlfriend did, after her excellent second husband died, meet several elderly gentlemen through such sites. She had platonic relationships with a couple of them, going so far as being cruising companions... in fact she and one octogenarian had just returned from one when she died.

I thought it brave - something that I would have funked doing, but no, she enjoyed the company and never ran into any problems

My friend used one for a while (not sure which) and she met some nice men and had some good dates but she did feel that they all expected sex so she gave up in the end.

Just be careful and make sure someone knows when and where you are meeting any intended "date" and don't give too much personal information on those first few meetings.

You could try "meet ups" where people post events they are/want to go to and other members can go too. Don't know about cost A friend made lots of contacts and a large social circle this way, maybe dating could follow? I met my current partner through Dateline over 20 years ago, that was pre internet dating and I don't know if they still exist. He was number nine!

I have been a widow for 17 years now and I have tried a couple of dating sites but found some of the responses very rude and abrupt, one man asked to have my home phone number after two messages and got quite shirty when I said no! His email was quite nasty and I blocked any further communications from him. I did meet up with two men, going for a lunch/evening meal. The first one had said he was divorced and he spent his time on our meal telling me how he lost his wife because, when she had cancer and was in and out of hospital for treatments, he cheated on her with a girl from his office. She found out and told him to leave. That put me off for ages then a friend suggested another site so I tried again. This time the man was very nice but he wanted to be able to go away in his caravan as and when the fancy took - I was a little confused as my profile said I worked full time and also helped care for my grandchildren and I did say that if they were looking for someone with no ties I probably wasn't the one for them! Virtually given up now.

I am not in the market for another man, but if I were I think I would pass on dating sites and look instead for opportunities to mix with people (not just men) in siuations where dating wasn't the object of the exercise. The dating couild follow on from that.

What are your interests and hobbies? Are you a sporty/exercising type? Get a membership at a gym, do some exercising then sit with a cup oif coffee and watch. There will be other people sitting about and getting into conversation is natural.

More the creative sort? Join an art or craft class, or one for house or car maintenance - learning how to check up on your oil level or clear your gutters could be useful, and there could be men there doing the same.

Join a "cookng for one " class where there may be men who are getting to grips with living alone - if you can't find one and/or you are a good cook, start a class on "cooking for men on their own" yourself.

Do some lateral thinking. Just make sure that you don't give the impression of being hungry to grab any man who is passing, he may have a perfectly good wife of his own.

having lost my partner who died a little while ago, i joined the p.o.f free dating website, in all innocense, i have found it to be a snake pit, i just wanted companionship, not a full on relationship and have found so many people on there with dare i say it different agenda's

but the website it's self is prone to playing people off against one another

so while its o.k to chat with people , you have to be very cautious.

A friend met her FOURTH husband via a dating website!

Tried this out a few years back. Met some reasonable men for coffee/ drinks/ dinner.
But my conclusion was that men in their late sixties are far older and more set in their ways than women of the same age.
A couple of them were looking for housekeepers. Some could only converse about divorced wife or worse, dead mother!
All in all I can't imagine that I'd be happier sharing my life/bed with any man than enjoying my freedom!,

Similar situation separated 18 months ago and also had to deal with brain tumour surgery. On a whim joined Yours Dating and have met a caring, affectionate and understanding person. We have known each other 6 months and it is working out really well. On paper interests are very different so do not dismiss anyone because of this. Good idea to meet for coffee initially. Good luck and hope that you meet someone .

A friend of mine (now deceased) used one when she was quite vulnerable and made the mistake after a few months of moving the guy in.
Oh, they stayed together till my friend passed away and it was all loveydovey in public. In private , a very different matter altogether, he was a heavy drinker and in all honesty I think there was a lot of mental abuse and mind games. The thing is she would not get rid, I think it was a fear of being alone.
Be very careful, what you see initially can change completely once he gets his feet under the table.

Another friend of mine who tried one got fed up with it and quit saying to me it was all older men looking for either housemaids, cooks or 'nurses with purses'. She decided in the end the hassle wasn't worth it.

Heard worrying stories on Woman's Hour recently about women who "met" men on dating sites, never actually met them in person and gave them vast sums of money to sort out spurious problems while they were supposedly conducting business abroad. ' A complete con and very sad for people who were just looking for companionship or love.

I met my second husband on a dating website! I had lots of fun dating before I met him, lots of coffees, lunches, walks, dinner. Met some lovely chaps, no nutters but I did meet a couple who thought we were already in a relationship when we met, because we had been texting/ emailing for a while. Probably explains why they were still single! I had a lot of contact from younger men, which was very flattering until it dawned on me what they had in mind! But hey, maybe that floats your boat! I was a member of several websites, I can't remember which one I met my husband on, it was five years ago now. I recommend joining one affiliated with the newspaper you read, the people I met through Telegraph dating were all of a similar background, level of education and general outlook to me, and the loonies and fraudsters don't tend to hang out on paid sites. I was approached twice on a free site by a fraudster/gang who made headlines as they succeeded in persuading a lonely lady that they were an impossibly handsome officer in the American army who needed her money for medical treatments. I also recommend googling anyone you intend to meet. If they have told you they are a school governor/on the parish council/captain of golf club they will have a digital footprint. My husband was also bereaved after a long and happy marriage (and six children, all adults!) and we feel really blessed to have found such happiness again. So do give it a go, but take care, stay safe, and just remember there are more good people in the world than bad.

I met my second husband 9 years ago on Match.com when I was 55, having been divorced for almost 20 years. I think I was probably lucky as my husband was only the 3rd man I met in person from the dating site. Having been to singles clubs and various other venues over the years, I think dating sites are very good, providing you are careful and, of course, realise that some people may not be genuine.

I think it gives you the opportunity to correspond and find out more about the other person to see if you have anything in common before you even meet them.

As I said, I have been very lucky and am now married to a man who is kind, caring and has a brilliant sense of humour.

I met my partner on the p o f website and we have been together 7 and a half years now. Had previously met about 5 or 6 men. 1 went on about his ex and 1 was about 15 years older than his photo. Always meet in a public place and never give your address or phone number at first. Guess I was lucky after being on my own for 16 years and aged 60. He is actually 5 years younger than me but likes older women! Give it a try. At best you will find a partner. At worst you can have some fun/boring meets.

Twenty three years ago I met the love of my life through Guardian Soulmates after my husband had left me for a younger model.We were very, very happy until , sadly, he died this November from a sudden heart attack. It was unlike me to have been so bold but I am always glad I did.

I totally agree with Misslayed. Join up, have fun, but be careful and don't have a big tick list :-)

I met my second husband at a divorced and separated group 23yrs ago .I was the best thing I ever did .x

There are some positive posts and people have found decent people. Think the moral is be very careful, they can tell you everything you want to hear if you get a confidence trixtor who is accomplished. Good luck.

What about your local University of the 3d Age? Do they run a solo group?

Thank you all for your comments, still unsure about whether to join one or not and if I do which one. Didn't realise there were so many. It's good to hear that some of you have had a good & successful experience with them. EmilyHarburn unfortunately the University of the 3rd Age is only for retired or semi-retired people, which I am neither, still got 12 years until I can retire. It's a shame there isn't a similar organisation for younger people.