Reading letters addressed to someone else

Can't speak for the legal side but morally it is indefensible. Even if she could not resist a peek she should have offered them back to you or destroyed them, certainly not disclose the contents to anyone else.

Not illegal. The fact that she read them is one thing....its something we all might do if it in some way concerned us, and we are all a bit nosy to some extent.
However, it was very wrong of her to pass the information and content on to your daughter - that is nasty trouble making pure and simple.
From what you say about this woman, she sounds like a soap opera cliché and its probably best to try to rise above it.
Take great care that her nasty meddling does not affect your relationship with your daughter - that's probably her aim.
Have some social time with her away from all this and just try hard to let the past be the past. We all say (and write) things we later wish to distance ourselves from and we all make mistakes. Do not let this spoil the future.

When my MiL died I helped her daughters sort out her things and found some letters. I handed these to her daughters who decided to burn them without reading as they didn't want to invade their mother's privacy. I think you should try to rise above this. I assume you don't see her socially so just ensure it doesn't affect your relationship with your daughter.

How horribly insensitive, but no, not illegal. Agree with others, your relationship with your daughter could perhaps need extra care for a while, I hope, although of course grieving for her grandmother, your daughter will be supportive of you and understand the letters were written at a difficult time, many years ago. This action must have stirred memories in you that you would prefer had stayed dormant. a very hurtful situation. I hope your don't need to have regular contact with this insensitive person and can focus on your daughter now. Good luck with it all.

So this woman has read the letters and told your daughter what she thinks were your feelings about your daughter at the time you and her father divorced? That is morally indefensible and from a woman who pretended to be a friend then married your ex. I suspect the relationship with her MIL was not good and she was jealous of your relationship with MIL. Sit down with your daughter and clarify what was said at a very difficult time.

Apart from the letters what right does she have to tell you to 'butt out' of something to do with your daughter? Does not sound too nice a person to me.
I hope non of this impacts on your relationship with your daughter. X x

Morally wrong. It's a pity they were kept, but they were and shows this awful woman up for what she is.On my mil's passing, all letters of a personal nature were destroyed, they were not for our eyes, just hers. Ihope this person does not try to get between you and your daughter, but hopefully she will tell her it's your business and butt out. She sounds like she needs a bit of drama in her life.

Thank you for your kind comments! Can I just quickly correct here that the comments I had made in the letters were not about my daughter but about this lady. That's why it was so odd that she would even mention it to my daughter, considering that they are not close at all.

There is an axiom to the effect that snoopers never read any good of themselves.

This woman has done nothing illegal but she has offended against every code of common decency. She shouldn't have read the letters intended for another in the first place, but if she couldn't resist she should never have told a soul about the contents.

That she has read the letters and then tried to make mischief of their contents decades after their being written when things might well have changed but when water has certainly passed under the bridge, is indefensible.

You are right to be outraged and hurt but clearly you are not going to get any satisfactory closure from this awful woman as she has no sensitivity or even normal morality whatsover.

The best you can hope for is that your daughter is understanding and sympathetic towards you. Work on that relationship andforget the dreadful snoop.

If I were you I wouldn't give it another thought she sounds like a trouble maker and it's probably good that both her and your daughter know how you felt deeply hurt by her actions if anything she should of been ashamed and embarrassed about telling your daughter she obviously has no morals and this is why she read the letters and dare I say it jumped into bed with your ex husband.

The fact that she read your letters and spoke to your daughter,is an indication of her unpleasant character
She is out of order on both accounts.
The fact that your MIL kept the letters might indicate that they were important to her.
An intrusion of privacy is upsetting,but if this has,t upset your daughter,let it rest.
I hope you now have possession of the letters.

Granny2016, no I haven't received the letters. I'd like to think that my mum-in-law kept the letters because they were important to her, and maybe this person didn't like that idea. Unfortunately I wasn't in touch with my mum-in-law in her last years partly because she turned against a number of family members, including her other granddaughters, which may or may not be to do with this person I'm talking about here. In any case, she didn't help matters. Our letters went unanswered and we lived a long way away to be able to physically go and see if she's ok and we thought she had family members looking after her, including my ex-husband. However, I now think she may have been manipulated by her new daughter-in-law all along to turn against her other family members.

I am sure your daughter is able to see that she too has been a victim of this spiteful person, it is unforgivable to read personal letters and to share that with others, unless it is helpful and kind.

I wouldn't worry about it as it says far more about her than you.

She does not come well out of this, her actions define her, and your daughter will probably see that. Rise above.

Maybe over time,your ex husband said a few nice things about you which she didn,t like .Perhaps he struggled with her too.
I rather think your MIL agreed with your letters which is why she kept them.
I hope you get them back or they are destroyed,as I wouldn,t trust her with them.
What a horrid woman.

I have always been led to believe reading other peoples letters is illegal, maybe that is if you open someone elses letter, then read it, someone can mistakenly open someones letter thinking it was to them, but you dont need to read it, always check who the letter is addressed to before opening it, thats the best bet. I have NEVER read anyones letter, and would never do so, think most people are the same.

Nelli, can I ask what else would you expect from this former 'friend' who clearly had a history of doing what she wants and not giving a hoot about other people's feelings. Steer clear and stay by your daughter's side as she grieves for her grandma