I wasn't sure whether to write about this again, because I've already spoken twice about it. Some will remember that my son (now 45) has abused substances and It actually took me quite a bit of courage to write about the first time, nevermind the second time, about a year ago - and here I am again.
The reason I need to write about it is that I need to speak about it. I've had counselling on how to deal with it, and at the time that helped. I have it all in my head what the counsellor said, so I don't need to go back.
I'm exhausted by it. I can't deal with it any more. He's had 3 'blips' in the last couple of years and we've helped him get back on his feet again, as did the counselling he received at the time. I'm full of fear, can't eat, can't sleep.
I know he's almost middle-aged, but it doesn't stop my trying and needing to help him.
As I said, I just needed to speak about it, because really, there's no-one to speak to that understands. I just feel despair, now.
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