How to use mindful breathing to beat Christmas stress

Christmas can be a wonderful time of year, what with the gifts, the food, the champagne at breakfast (or is that just us?)... But now and again it can also be a blood-boiling affair that would test the patience of Mother Teresa.  Luckily, renowned vegetarian-cookery-turned-mental-health writer, Rose Elliot MBE, has taken a step out of the kitchen and is here with some of her best advice for using mindful breathing to keep your cool.

Love it or loathe it, Christmas is coming. The holidays can be magical, or not, but breathing mindfully will certainly help get you through any tense moments. Whatever the situation, the foundations of mindful breathing are simple - give it a go during some of the trying times over the holidays. You'll be glad you did!

How to breathe mindfully

Pause for a moment. Close your eyes. Focus completely on your breathing; notice the cool air going in through your nostrils (or wherever you first feel it), down into your chest, and then the warm air coming out. Feel the peace.

And then repeat. Whenever you feel stressed over the Christmas period, you'll be able to keep your cool.

Tackling different scenarios

1. The booze has been flowing freely and everyone is getting a bit tetchy, and maybe even saying unwise things to each other. Your nephew is attacking your brother about Brexit, and everyone's badgering your son about his new girlfriend. Don't give in to the provocation. Step away, outside, if you can, for a breath of fresh air and some gentle 'peace walking'. Breathe mindfully as described above and focus on each step, as if you are putting a stamp of peace upon the ground. Let the tension melt away, return inside refreshed and don't engage in petty conversations.

Breathe mindfully…feel the peace

2. You're hosting Christmas this year and you know you can do it – or you think you can! Of course you want it to go well, but you know some of your guests have doubts, and you're feeling decidedly nervous. Don't let the self-doubt get you down or give in to others' expectations. Breathe yourself confident: every time a 'fear thought' comes put your mind onto your breath instead.

Take a mindful breath and focus on it as described – there will be no room for fearful thoughts too. As you breathe out, consciously surrender your Christmas and trust that all will be well. And you know what? It will. This works every time, about matters big and small. Remember that you are doing everything as best you can, and trust in yourself even when you think others doubt you.

Breathe mindfully… feel the confidence; say to yourself 'all is well'.

3. The traffic is even worse than the queue you just waited in to buy your holiday shopping. If it's moving so slowly that your blood could boil, and you can feel the frustration rising, try physically shrugging the tension from your shoulders. Then, take several gentle mindfulness breaths, and reconnect to your inner peace. Keep doing it every time the tension or anger comes back!

Breathe mindfully… feel the patience.

4. Sparks are flying around the table as opinions flare up and someone plays the Trump card. People are saying unkind and untrue words and you feel hurt and angry. But don't let yourself be battered by them. Instead, take three or four mindfulness breaths, and then another throughout the day whenever the arguments come to your mind. When you feel the antagonism towards you, or when you feel yourself wanting to hit back, shrug your shoulders and let it go. Remove yourself from the scene if you can. Take three (or more) mindfulness breaths – breathing mindfully for a minute is good if you can. When you breathe mindfully, you put yourself in touch with your own inner strength. YOU become the strong one, not the one who is attacking you.

Breathe mindfully… feel the inner strength and safety, feel the hate lessen, the pain begin to ease…perhaps even feel the love come.

Rose has been one of Britain’s foremost vegetarian cookery writers for years, selling over 3.5 million copies worldwide of her incredible books, winning countless awards, and even being given an MBE by the Queen for her contribution to vegetarian cookery. In her new book, Every Breath You Take, Rose now makes her contribution to the practice of mental health, showing how anyone is capable of bettering themselves and their lives in everyday situations. Rose's own life has been significantly helped through this practice, as she used mindful breathing to keep herself going throughout her beloved husband's decline into dementia, and his eventual death a year ago.

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What to do if you're alone at Christmas

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