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nappy training

(23 Posts)
tournesol Sat 07-May-11 15:39:32

To expect a three and a half year old to have had some sort of nappy training?

QuackQuackBoing Sat 07-May-11 15:49:05

Hi, I'm a mum (not a nan). Most people I know potty train around 2 1/2 -3. So I guess yes by 3 1/2 I would expect them to have had some. Perhaps the parents have tried and it's not working? Does the child have special needs? Some children are just naturally later at it though and pushing it can make things worse because it causes stress, so best to wait until it develops more naturally.

tournesol Sat 07-May-11 16:24:17

Not special needs; parents just very laid back. I just wondered how other people felt about it.

HildaW Sat 07-May-11 17:17:41


Its like this......20 odd years ago both my girls were out of them by 18 months...terries get very wet and felt horrid!

But I do appreciate I did not work.I could devote myself for a couple of weeks to following them around with a potty. Nowadays Mums have so much on their plates - often no two days are the same and if childcare is shared between parents, professionals and other family members its jolly difficult to manage things. To be quite honest how my daughter copes with her 2 yr old (yes still in disposable nappies tut tut) a pregnancy, husband working all hours her own shift work and other family concerns and yet still seems to stay cheerful and sane is beyond me!....So yes I have everso slightly mentioned if...but its her family, her life and hells teef who am I to dicate? but I do hope hes out of them by the time the next one arrives because that would be dire.

tournesol Sat 07-May-11 17:37:27

Too late here - next one has arrived!

outnumbered Sat 07-May-11 19:31:38

a mum too (do i have to appologise? grin) i let my boys choose when they were ready, and ds1 was 3.6 years and ds 2 was 2.8years, we didn't potty train but went straight for the toilet, on my mums advice, because everyone has one

tournesol Sat 07-May-11 19:37:10

Thanks everyone that is very helpful.

bikergran Sat 07-May-11 20:43:49

grandson was over 3ys 6mnths before he decided to give it a try properly..took a month or so..(was starting school in september and cracked it about 3 months prior)! its like others say, some are ready early others

Margaret52 Sat 07-May-11 20:58:25

Hi - my daughter is just in the potty training stage now with grandson - 2.1/2. She's finding it hard going with all the things happening in the household (baby brother, visitors etc, etc) but devoted 2 weeks over Easter when daddy was around to help, and he's almost there. Neighbour said to try using short type underpants and not knicker types as her son had similar trouble when potty training. the tighter underpants give them a feeling of a nappy where as the short type dont! It seems to have worked for a wee, but not, unfortunately for a poo! I think that he 'holds' onto a poo till it's on it's way - but he'll get there very soon (hopefully!) I've heard that boys are often slower to 'get' the potty training than girls.

I think that each child has it's own time when they're ready, and perhaps disposables keep them so dry that they are not aware of when they've wee'd.

When my daughters were small, terries were the norm and they knew when they were wet. Eldest daughter hated having dirty nappies and was clean by around 2ys but youngest (grandchild's mum) was later, around 2.1/2-3.

outnumbered Sat 07-May-11 21:10:58

good idea re the shorts, planing to get ds3 dry much earlier, although when they are older fewer accidents

GrannyTunnocks Sat 07-May-11 22:17:12

I agree with Margaret. Terry nappies were uncomfortable but disposables do keep them feeling dry. Probably not a good idea to try to train elder child when there is a new baby. The later they leave it the easier it should be.

twinklepickers Sun 08-May-11 08:51:52

YABU - first of all it's none of your business what age your DGC potty train - it's down to the child and its parents.

Secondly you don't actually know the plan, perhaps the parents have tried and just haven't told you.

Thirdly, how does it help to be getting all cross and overheated over the matter, there is nothing you can do. To quote Mr Cameron 'calm down dear' wink it's not good for your blood pressure.

Jangran Sun 08-May-11 12:27:02

I bought some "big boy" pants for my second grandson when it seemed about the right time. He loved the idea, and was trained within a week.

Bagpuss Mon 09-May-11 13:22:40

You do have to be totally governed by what the parents judge to be the right time.

My daughter left it much later than I did with my own children to get my grandson out of nappies and imho it was much more sensible. He was well over 3 years old and able to cope on his own taking down and pulling up his pants and trousers and once the process of potty training was started he was more or less dry and competent in a couple of weeks.

I agree that terry nappies were much more uncomfortable and the chore of washing them probably made me more driven to start potty training earlier and the prevailing culture of the time was that you were letting the side down if toddlers were not out of nappies by 2 and a half, but it seemed to take a lot longer and lots more accidents.

babyjack Mon 09-May-11 17:07:07

My Grandson is potty trained now he is 3 years old, however his mum is at home with him all day so able to devote time. He still has the odd accident.
I think you just have to be led by them on this one as any suggestions will be seen as critical.
She just waited until he showed an interest plus the peer pressure at playschool helped as he wanted to be like the big boys!! Take heart not many children go to primary school in nappy's.

tournesol Mon 09-May-11 17:42:27

Many thanks for all the positive comments.

gordonlacey Tue 10-May-11 23:14:39

I am a mum of 3 boys, all out of nappies at just over two.Grannddaughter only 14 months so not yet an issue! I work in Education and am appalled at the number of perfectly normal children coming to Nursery at 3+ or into Reception at 4+ still in nappies. Schools now have to have 'toileting policies'- in other words to train these children for parents who couldn't be bothered. These same children are also usually unable to dress and undress themselves or use cutlery. When my kids were this age no playgroup would accept them in nappies let alone a school although of course accidents were expected and coped with. This should be the rule now except for children with special needs.

GoldenGran Tue 17-May-11 16:20:47

Our generation just did things differently,you just have to let it go and trust your daughter on this one. He will be potty trained one day, save the guns for the big ones!

Elegran Sat 21-May-11 11:06:13

Take comfort from the fact that most adults seem to have mastered the necessary skills OK !

It is easier to train in the summer, when they are mostly out of doors - kinder on the carpets and furniture. I used to put "real" pants on them out in the garden, then whip them in to the loo every time they leaked, whether or not it was too late. Pavlovian association, wee = loo. A bit of "there, that is nicer than wet pants" each time the dry ones were put on reinforced it.

The girls were dry in a few days of good weather, the boy took longer, but we had no traumas with any. Teaching him to stand up to wee was Daddy's job, by demonstration.

pinkprincess Sat 21-May-11 21:35:39

I agree about the terry nappies.Both of mine(both boys) were out of nappies by two and a half the eldest, and the younger by two years.DS2 hated being wet and would try to remove his nappy.Also when you were faced with daily washing and drying the things you got them out of them as soon as possible.
My grandchildren all of course had disposables but seemed to be out of them during the day by two years, took a bit longer for night time.I hate to see children approaching school age still wearing nappies.My great niece was still wearing nappies until four and a half.But each generation seems to be differant, my mother thought it was disgusting for babies to be still in nappies at 18 months.There were five of us with two year age gaps and she always seemed to have the youngest trained before the new baby arrived.
My mantra for terry nappies and potty training is ''Try walking around with a soaking wet rag between your legs'' that's the reason babies were trained earlier.Disposables are far too absorbant.

Harrypotterfan Sun 22-May-11 08:59:34

My 2 wre trained by 2.3 yrs. They are now 3.6 and 5.6 so not that long ago. I put them in heavy cotton training pants and they got it within 2 weeks Still waiting for Ds to be dry at night tho but that doesn't concern me. I do think kids can be trained young. Parents need to be willing to put in the time and effort for the few weeks of mess. But with everyone working and kids in childcare etc that's not always practical.

harrigran Sun 22-May-11 11:01:04

Getting a child dry at night is not difficult. We always lifted the child, took them to the toilet,they obliged and were back in bed in a minute. I have heard younger Mums say they didn't want to wake the child but they usually go straight back to sleep. I have always done it with granddaughter too. I always leave a potty in the bedroom because children may not want to leave the room.

Harrypotterfan Sun 22-May-11 20:59:00

Hari gran. Thanks for tip
We have tried that and he does go straight back off. But we seem to still get 2 or 3 wet beds a week even with lifting. His sister was dry within a month of being dry in the day so I'm just waiting till the accidents get less frequent and I will try with out a pull up again. We reuse the dry pull ups so it's not that expensive smile

I have friends that have 5 yr old that are still in a night pull up so I'm not concerned as he is almost 3.6yrs so not of an age where Yr told to seek a docs advise.