There are a few interesting things emerging here. First, it is a much harder environment for Mums, there is expectation of success and much less space. It is no wonder that young Mums find it difficult to love their children's company when space is compromised, when we are all necessarily on alert for danger if children are "outside". I totally take on board the difficulties of being with young children who are full of energy, for me, the most helpful thing was having a friend and mentor who was quite brilliant with children, patient, with many activities up her sleeve, and had no expectations. This is not easy today when everything tells a mother that she should be perfect and in control. Grans are necessarily much more involved with their grandchildren, economics and many other things dictate that this is the case, we have time to clear up when they have gone home, and the patience which comes from seeing that things are as they are, not always text book. There is no criticism of why finding time for children is difficult, just an earnest enquiry based on observation that if you haven't learned to be alone and absorbed in your own company when you are young, it is difficult to achieve it when you are old! Reading Marie de Hennezel's book has alerted me to search out how we might be able to help.