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stubborn ex stops daughter from seeing son

(3 Posts)
torstours Sun 15-May-11 17:17:11

9 yrs ago my grandson was born, sadly my daughter got post natal depression and was living far away from us and was being convinced by her ex that she was useless at everything. It ended with her keys being taken from her and thrown out and we drove down. Of course we didn't take her son with us as we should at the time.

Next thing suddenly came a letter for a residency order, which she then had to fight as he would not let her back in. Her only contact was at centres in the middle of nowhere for 1/2 hr at this v early age to see him. Finally she was then judged by CPS and residency was given to her partner leaving her homeless. but worst of all without the right to see her son, apart from once a fortnight for 2 nights.

She now has her own home and 4 other children and lives up the road but her ex is always extremely difficult about visits.
He says he doesn't like him travelling late on Fridays (obviously the only 2 nights he can do) so she only gets him for 1 night. This has continued but not every week and it means we hardly ever see him.

I would like to know how either she could apply to see him more as on the phone he is very unreasonable always to see him more and for longer. For instance in the holidays.

Thank you anyone who may know!

Any help would be great.....

Nonna2 Sun 15-May-11 17:47:52

Are you in the UK or the US?

Here in the UK your grandson is getting to the age where his wishes would be taken into account by the courts in respect of contact. In the US I really couldn't say - laws seem to vary so much from state to state confused

babyjack Mon 23-May-11 23:44:03

She could seek some legal advice. If the contact has been consistent and positive and her son is enjoying his visits then she could apply for an increase in contact. The courts would be looking at what is in the child's best interests. Family courts are now making orders for separated parents to attend courses where they try to come to a joint agreement about what is best for their child - they attend different groups. If they cannot agree then the court will rule.
If your grandson has half siblings then the court will take into account the need for sibling contact as well.
Your daughter may be entitled to legal aid, ring your local woman's aid and ask if they can recommend a solicitor in your area who specialise in childcare work.
Many estranged parents i know have fortnightly contact and share the holidays, birthdays, Christmas etc. CAFCASS have a website and may have recommended books for children whose parents have a poor relationship.
Going down the legal route may result in better contact but you need to weigh up how the whole process will effect your grandson, would his birth father put pressure on him to say he did not want to go. Every situation is different but if everyone loves the child and focusses on what is best for him then a good outcome can be achieved .
Good Luck