public transport.

...to hit people with, perhaps?

My daughter is pregnant again and has found that while men are willing to give up their seat, it is the young women (who should empathise) who refuse to budge.

I'm 52 and look fit but have just had a knee operation. When I next go to London I'm going to take a collapsible walking stick and get it out when I have to use the train or underground.

Bus driving is the most stressful job around, because it has all the stress factors: dealing with the public, handling money and having to keep it correct, being in traffic all day, being responsible for multiple lives, being inspected, and having to keep to a tight timetable.

My husband did some bus driving in New Zealand. One day he got sick of people taking too long to get off and making him late, so he got out of his seat, faced the passengers, and told them they had 5 seconds to get off in future. Well, next stop all the passengers started counting down 5-4-3-2-1. They were all in stitches, but it worked: everyone got off efficiently. He expected a backlash but he became highly popular.

Why do people eat on the bus? My local 'big' bus station has a Greggs in it and does a roaring trade with the passengers. There are signs up on the buses saying 'no eating and drinking' but everyone ignores them. It's horrible having a 20 mile journey fragranced buy a steak and onion slice and bag of cheezy wotsits.The drivers turn a blind eye and seem to be scared of confronting the passengers who are beligerant so-and-so's.
Some drivers are friendly and helpful, most are miserable and grumpy, I think they have a lot to put up with from the public and society is getting nastier and more selfish.

Going back to the first comment about people looking drab in dress as well as manner ---- is it obligatory for teen-agers to look sullen and bad tempered ? About public transport I have not come across a better service than the one in Turkey , 1 euro will take you almost anywhere and you can stay on bus all day if you wish ,and it will stop and pick up or drop off anywhere you want .. My son lives there and for £40 pounds a year the bins are emptied every day , the streets are swept and washed every day ,!!Women are never allowed to stand on the bus a gentleman will always give up his seat . Why have we gone so terribly wrong ?

Buses on the continent are seen as transport for everybody who is standing waiting regardless of who was there first. All would-be passengers expect to board the bus, which they do by forming a thick crush of bodies all trying to get on at once. I am now used to this but was surprised to notice that in Rome, ladies of a certain age were always offered one of the few side seats. They can embark on the journey into town sure of being able to get a seat. Somehow without any sort of queue, they always manage to board the bus.
We polite ones, see an approaching bus or tram with a feeling of apprehension- not observing any sort of queue, we assume that if we were the first- which we often are, having failed to get on the previous bus because of the crush of people - we hope at least to get on, validate our tickets and find room to stand or even sit if we are lucky.
Fortunately I live in a small town and still drive and try to travel when the rush hour is over.

I was once standing on a full bus while pregnant. I was fine standing, as it happens, but the bus was terribly stuffy and I hate that so I reached over someone while saying: You don't mind if I open a window, do you?. At that point three people got up and offered me their seat! I think they simply hadn't noticed before that I was pregnant. Maybe they thought I was going to faint and that would have been even more troublesome than giving up their seat.

We live in a rural area, and at one point I looked into using public transport to get to work. I live only 8 miles from the office, but found that if I wanted to use public transport it would have meant:

I would only be able to be actually in the office one day a week

On that day, I would arrive at around 10.30, and would need to leave at approximately 1.30 to be sure of catching the only bus.

Yes, the village I live in has a bus service to one of the nearest towns (Holsworthy) once week on market day, and only 1 bus in, and 1 bus out.

The other nearest town (Torrington) has a far better bus service, but I dont happen to work there!

OK, the gov. want us to use public transport to reduce carbon footprint etc, I would be happy to use it so that we don't have to have the expense of running 2 cars (that is if dh ever gets another job, bearing in mind the problems of getting a job when one is over 55, but that is another story)

Answers on a metaphorical postcard please!

Oh dear Joan, I digress slightly from transport but your story reminded me of something I had not thought of for years.
33 years ago in a tesco cafe (I think) in Oldham with my 6 year old and an 8 month pregnant bump. A slightly drunk man and his mother were occupying the other side of the booth style seating. He kept bumping his knee into mine. Once more, I thought... The next time he did it I kicked him very hard in the shin with my doctor marten booted foot. He yelled, I apologised sweetly and departed as gracefully as was humanly possible.
Maybe there is something about pregnancy that makes us feel it is OK to be violent in public - or that we will get away with it.

BTW, getting back to transport, does anyone else sit at the gate at airports eyeing up the other passengers and spotting the ones you REALLY hope you will not be sitting next to? First long haul i ever did was in the middle row of a jumbo next to a 6ft 7ish man. So spent the whole trip with his knee in my space.

Was reminded of a trip to London last year. I was very pleasantly surprised when my gd's (12 and 9) and I were returning to our hotel one evening and the tube was busy but not overcrowded. Although there were vacant seats, two young men stood up and offered us their seats so that we could sit together. Not absolutely necessary but a lovely example of thoughtful behaviour.

Well I haven't read the whole thread. But I must say that I travel by bus often myself. I don't go in the car with Arthur because he drives like a loon and I myself do not drive due to incident that happened many years ago and was blown out of all proportion. So anyway I travel on the bus often and generally find it to be full of school children. Oh how I enjoy listening to their conversations, I have learnt so much!

When I was pregnant with my eldest daughter I lived in London at the

time. I used the tube to go to work. I often had to stand in

crowded conditions. As I grew in size, if I was unable to get a seat I

would stand bump facing usually a man get eye contact

and say "can I rest the bump on your lap" it soon got the person

seating offering up their seat.

On a recent visit to London, I was offered a seat on the Underground on no less than 3 occasions. I didn't know whether to be horrified or grateful. I am (I think) a fit, young-looking 62 and it was quite a shock to realise that that these young people perceived me as someone in need of a seat. On the other hand it was gratifying to realise that chivalry is not dead and manners are still being taught - just as I did with my own children. (I accepted once and refused 2x!)

Public Transport - what's that?
Don't see much of that around here since the County Council decided it costs too much. So does the car, but what can you do? Shop online and do without or make do. Humph
Escape to the Country? I want to escape to the town.

I use a stick as I have knee problems - I find the handle of the stick good on ankles of someone who canot read the disabled seat sign! If they protest I just pretend I am unaware of my stick misbehaving!

I was on a bus once, with three small children (a 3-yr-old a 5-yr-old and a babe-in-arms) In those days there were no buggy spaces, You had to fold the buggy and put it on the luggage shelf.

To get off I retrieved the buggy, unfolded it and put in baby and shopping, and marshaled the toddlers, all on a shuddering moving bus so as not to waste time.at the stop. Then we all headed for the door just before the bus stopped - one door for in and out then.

A whole herd of people instantly tried to swarm on past us, although they must have been blind not to see us filling the doorway - they just stood there waiting for us to get out of THEIR way - back into the bus was the only escape route!

.I put on my best schoolteacher voice and told them loudly to step back and let us off if they wanted on. Crowd shuffles reluctantly back.

Meanwhile the driver said nary a word.

I bet that felt good, Elegran (you not him!!)

I think people are afraid, all the time, of risking embarrassment. They would rather walk round an obstructive person than risk an earful by asking them to move.

I was once on the suburban train to work here in Queensland Australia, when some schoolkids, in uniform, were acting up and creating a disturbance. I simply told them, in my strong Yorkshire accent, to back off and give us all some peace, or else. (The 'or else' would have been ringing the school principal) They obeyed. Everyone looked relieved.

Some people find a strong Northern accent a bit intimidating, which is fine by me.

My DH and I make full use of our bus passes.
My main gripe is the young parents who get onto buses with buggies and take over the whole space allocated to them, including the seats.My husband is 78 and has cardiac disease and it is very rarely one of the above mentioned offers him a seat.I tell him that the floor is for the prams/buggies, and the seats are not necessary for the young and fit parents.Dont get me started on buggy rage as it is rife where I live.
I was once standing on a crowded bus when a middle aged lady got on with a walking aid.There were two young mothers sitting down with their buggies parked in front of them, and they suddenly became blind.One got out her phone and stared texting.A few stops along one of these young women got up to get off the bus, as the lady with the walking aid moved to get her now vacant seat, she said to the young woman.''I hope you don't end up a f###### cripple like me''.Of course the young woman went deaf.

I'll be getting my bus pass in December, providing our council doesn't do away with them in the current economic climate. I have been seriously considering giving up driving as petrol is so expensive and I really don't enjoy driving at all any more. I certainly won't be doing any more long journey's by car. Too stressful!

Your comments on public transport, Penman, are very encouraging and I will definitely be thinking long and hard about giving up the car for public transport.

Joan -

About you standing on that young thug's foot - I had been shopping downstairs in M&S food hall and made for the stairs heading for the exit. There were a large number of people crowding at the bottom, waiting to go up in single file.

Why? Because a man ( a member of the public, not an employee) was standing just below the bottom step, sideways leaning on the rail, with one foot on the first step, blocking nearly half the width. He was just gazing into space and obviously had no awareness of the crowd, and they were meekly filing past him.

I did what you did, when I reached him I stepped heavily on his instep and on up the steps. He gave a yowl and moved his foot. Now why had no-one asked him to move before that? They acted just like sheep.

At age 78 I suffered a slight stroke, it affected my sense of balance and I decided not to drive any more. Lizzie and I rather painfully bore with the obligation to use buses or taxis. Expecting a rather rude and common experience we were amazed to find courtesy and consideration, and when I began walking with a stick it was almost like a magic wand; young people including Asian and Black gave us a smiling albeit silent courtesy offering seats and help when at bus stops; drivers usually waited while I scrambled off. We were frankly relieved that such consideration still existed in a world too busy for kind behaviour. We have not found the discourtesy and rudeness so commonly described in today's literature.

I have forgotten all the hassle of keeping a car, parking problems in the London area are too bleak for serious consideration. Buses are plentiful and always stop for us and we always say hello to the driver, the few incidents of discourtesy receive silent disapproval from other passengers.

Maybe we are too unobservant, too kind about other peoples' condition, maybe we think we are too far apart from the common crowd to see things realistically, but with four years experience of public transport I can find no cause for discontent.

Quote
I recently read a letter from someone who was heavily pregnant and asked a young man if he could please let her have his seat.

His reply? "No, its just like being fat, isn't it?"

Any comments......?
Unquote.

I was once on a bus to Dewsbury where I worked, about 8 months pregnant and very big. I was standing, and a young man was sitting right by me, with an 'up yours' expression on his face. I found it hard to balance with a severely compromised centre of gravity. Also, I was wearing high heels (daft, I know, but I liked to look nice)

Anyway, the bus swung round a corner, and I accidently-on-purpose stood on his foot, with my heel, letting the entire 75 kilos of my pregnant body concentrate on the two centimetre square of my heel.

His face turned a hundred shades of pink, red and purple, and he staggered off the bus - not his real stop I'm sure.

Revenge is sweet.

Sorry, I seem to have posted that twice.

I recently read a letter from someone who was heavily pregnant and asked a young man if he could please let her have his seat.

His reply? "No, its just like being fat, isn't it?"

Any comments......?

I recently read a letter from someone who was heavily pregnant and asked a young man if he could please let her have his seat.

His reply? "No, its just like being fat, isn't it?"

Any comments......?