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Chivalry or "benevolent sexism"?

(9 Posts)
Elegran Thu 16-Jun-11 11:50:28

Another ponderously po-faced "scientific" survey, this time from the Society for the Psychology of Women, concludes that when men open doors for us, or carry heavy shopping, they are really putting us down.

The actual article is at if you have the time and patience to read it, but the Telegraph has a piece based on it - with a lot of public comment - at

HildaW Thu 16-Jun-11 14:06:41

Lor........have always felt psychologists probably had too much time on their hands since I did an A level in it in my 30s...seemed to be full of folks asking daft questions and trying to find the most complicated way of answering them.

I've always seen opening doors or offering to help folks as much more a matter of good manners....I hold a door if anyone is behind me...or if someone is trying to come through with a buggy etc etc. Perhaps the rather over-theatrical opening of doors with a huge florish and a leering wink might be sexist or even mysogenistic but it rarely happens to me nowadays!wink

golfingranny Thu 16-Jun-11 14:34:07

Absolutely agree with you HildaW all round. Too much time spent asking daft questions and not enough 'doing'. Just enjoy it when someone opens a door for you - say thank you and give them a big smile. Maybe that will make it happen more often.

pompa Thu 16-Jun-11 15:38:31

I am obviously very old fashioned, I would always open a door for a lady, try to notice if her hair etc. is different and compliment her (or say nothing if I hate it !), buy her flowers and the like. I have never considered that this was sexist or putting women down, it's just good manners.

supernana Thu 16-Jun-11 16:15:25

pompa...a true gentleman smile

mrshat Thu 16-Jun-11 17:57:31

If only there were more like you Pompa! What nonsense - it is only good manners to open/hold open doors, and a thank you is always welcome!

grandmaagain Thu 16-Jun-11 19:18:24

agree with all of the above!! these little things should be every day pleasantries between people and make the world a nicer place for young and old, male or female.

baggythecrust! Fri 17-Jun-11 07:01:23

If it's kindly meant, then take it kindly. There's plenty else in the world to bristle about.

pompa Fri 17-Jun-11 07:18:26

Well said BtC. Kindness is infectious.