JessM, I also had a job and two kids. I didn't have a car, a washing machine, a drier, or an endless supply of disposable nappies.
After all, what is so arduous about putting a load of clothes in a washing machine that's sitting there in one's own kitchen?! I used to have to take the wash to the launderette -- on the bus!
Things are just different today. I've learned from this thread that my son and daughter-in-law aren't the only couple who see themselves as constantly hard-pressed, in spite of all the advantages they have which we did not have. And yet we didn't see ourselves as hard-pressed, at least I didn't. It was just what you had to do, and what it was normal to do. We had a lot of laughs. Nowadays so many people actually seem to want to see themselves as in need of "support". I don't think it's a healthy development myself.
The other thing is, that when we were rushed off our feet, we used to make sure everybody was fed, clean, and clothed, and let everything else go until there was more time to deal with it. My son and daughter-in-law don't do that.
However, they do find time to give the children plenty of love and attention, which is the most important thing. I can do my tut-tutting to myself, silently.