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right or wrong?

(15 Posts)
fillygumbo Sun 03-Jul-11 13:51:21

I had a lovely spa day with my daughter yesterday and all was well until I thought it would be nice to have a lie down on a sun bed by the pool, there was a row of 10 and every one was empty except for a towel left behind so I moved the towel to drape over the end and settled down. 10 mins later an irate woman announced it was her sunbed, before I had even thought about it I found myself asking it it had her name on it, wherupon she retorted that she had it first and expected to return to it, I just said well never mind Im here now and stayed put, I was told how rude I was and she even threatened to throw me in the pool which I just laughed at, now the thing is my daughter was shocked and thinks I should have apologised and moved, Im now not sure but would probably do the same again.
I would really like to know what other women think, is it right to assume sunbeds are yours for as long as you want them whether they are actually being used?and please be honest here was I rude?

pompa Sun 03-Jul-11 13:55:54

Oh I do hope you were grin sounds as though she deserved both barrels.

jangly Sun 03-Jul-11 15:52:24

Sorry, I don't understand why you chose the one with the towel on it if they were all empty? She was ridiculous as well though. Why couldn't she have taken one of the other ones. Threatening to throw you in the pool was beyond the pale! All a bit hmm

fillygumbo Sun 03-Jul-11 18:03:45

thanks for replying - I didnt explain very well, all the sunbeds were empty of people but everyone had a towel on thus supposedly being reserved whilst they were doing other things.

HildaW Sun 03-Jul-11 18:28:25

fillygumbo......I do hate all forms of 'bagsy'.....if you carry to its obvious conclusion then someone 3 miles away could be hogging something they might never actually use. Dont beat yourself up filly....ok it caused a scene....but sounds like the spa was allowing those in the know, or those who are the most bolshy to have the run of the place.
On the other hand....I just know I would not have stood my ground....but then thats just me, was brought up far too 'British' am always apologing!

lane70 Sun 03-Jul-11 18:28:50

fillygumbo, I don't think you should give it a moment's thought. We all have disagreeable encounters from time to time, it's not worth spending time analyzing something so trivial, unless you find it's happening all the time. Sounds like what's worrying you is not your behaviour but your daughter's criticism.

I don't know about your daughter, but mine sometimes tells me off and expresses "shock", and it upsets me at the time. But once I calm down I can see she's just getting her own back for all the times I told her off when she was a child. smile

Elegran Sun 03-Jul-11 18:44:26

Has this reserving-a-sunbed-with-a-towel thing started as a response to that you-have-to-get-up-early-to-beat-the Germans-to-a-place sketch? I think it was an ad.

It would have been interesting to take all the towels and throw them in the pool ..... but then you'd be out numbered by cross would-be sunbathers - with wet towels to flick at you ..... Maybe not a good idea.

In a restaurant, obviously, you would expect to go back to the same seat after a trip to the loo, but what if you leave a park bench to get some lunch? That is a public seat - as was your spa sunbed. Can you "book" a sunbed there officially and get exclusive rights to it? I bet you can't, or if you can you would have to pay.

JessM Sun 03-Jul-11 18:45:25

Yup, if something like that happens we tend to go over and over in our minds to check if there is something we need to learn from it (I think). Is there? if so, try to learn it. If not, try to stop going over and think about something more pleasant.

helshea Sun 03-Jul-11 21:04:32

I think probably a 50 50 situation here. But at the end of the day you didn't do anything wrong by moving the towel, but perhaps you were both a bit OTT with your reaction. If you think about it logically you have to be able to reserve sunbeds at some point, perhaps while you go to the loo, or actually swim in the pool. But I wouldnt worry about it too much, because I would have probably reacted the same way.

harrigran Sun 03-Jul-11 23:35:02

I get so cross with people that think they are better than us and can do what they like. I have twice paid £400 so that a friend and I could spend a whole day at the spa and in each case we have had to take loungers furthest from the pool. Not for us the lovely view from the large windows, skinny wags have bagged the best loungers and tootled off for their treatments or whatever. You were not rude fillygumbo, she was out of order.

hellypelly Mon 04-Jul-11 06:59:26

Oh to have been a fly on the wall! How funny this is! I don't know about rights and wrongs but it's definitely funny.

Elegran Mon 04-Jul-11 10:22:08

Harrigran - in your case where you had shelled out £400 the management should surely have issued you with some kind of official label for your sunbed. I'd say they were taking your money under false pretences!

supernana Mon 04-Jul-11 12:44:28

I would have let the woman throw me into the pool and then I would have sued her for assault...wink

gkal Mon 04-Jul-11 14:31:22

fillygumbo I had a similar experience with my family in an IKEA self service restaurant some years ago. We obtained our lunch (2 adults, 2 children) and then started trying to find somewhere to sit. There was a sea of empty tables with coats over all the chairs where people who had queued after us had bagged their places. We just stood there helpless with trays full of food. I was furious, put my tray down and moved coats/jackets from the chairs at one table placing them neatly over a pile of chairs nearby and we sat down. I knew there would be trouble and there was! Four adults came to the table after about 5 mins and claimed "their" places. I just said that they couldn't reserve places as it was a self-service and people who already had food had nowhere to sit. I just put up with the shouting and insults about what a rude person I was but it did give me indigestion! My husband and kids were totally humiliated and I felt bad for them. I stopped going to IKEA for a few years as I was cross about being put in that position and that no member of staff stopped people from bagging seats. I did write to complain and IKEA suggested I should come for lunch in future around 3pm when there are more places!! as if I was a trouble-maker. I still think I was right but it was an unpleasant incident.

HildaW Mon 04-Jul-11 18:12:13

Pretty unhelpful comment from Ikea!.........mind you dont think you are missing much..I think their food has gone downhill of late anyway.

I've noticed in some places they have a sign up saying that you cannot get seats until you have bought your food...a much better idea.

Whilst we are moaning I found myself remonstrating with a queue for entrance to a large visitor site, the signs asked people to wait at a sign and only come forward when there was a cashier free. This we did, and it soon became obvious why they did this. They prefered you to gift aid your entrance fee, so quite a few personal questions needed answering ...ones you dont want overhearing. When is was our time we stepped forward, but so did others behind us and were able to overhear our conversation. I did turn around and say that you are asked to wait further back but I was just given a scowl and was made to feel jolly awkward. Its a shame the staff did not reinforce the etiquette verbally...especially if they want the tax benefits.