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Advice from Grans please

(52 Posts)
Youngun2011 Mon 18-Jul-11 14:21:10

Hi, I’m a new mum-to-be and wondered if I could seek some advice from Grans please?

I genuinely love my parent in laws but sometimes feel my MIL is a bit pushy (in a nice but stern manner)

She likes us to go around to their house as often as possible – which we do, but it’s hard when we both work long hours. So I invited them round to see the nursery which we have just finished but she said it’d be easier for them to come round when I finish work for maternity in a month’s time. We live 15 minutes away.

I was a bit shocked she didn’t want to visit as she’s so excited about baby … but I have noticed that every time we talk she goes on about taking baby out (without me), days out (without me) and last time we spoke she told me where they’d ‘decided’ to take baby whilst I get on with things around the house. I know it’s important for Grandparents to spend quality time with their grandchildren but I’d like her to ask if it’s ok – not let me know how it will be.

Plus, I don’t want to stay in and do house work whilst they go out – in fact I’d quite like to join them and have some adult company whilst getting my baby out and about.

I don’t want to sound unappreciative but I want to get to know my baby, and feel like she just isn’t interested in me yet can’t wait to take my baby from me.

My husband admits she’s hard work sometimes but that she doesn’t mean to make me feel this way.

How do broach this subject without upsetting her – or am I best leaving it until baby arrives and just see how it goes?

Just feeling a bit overwhelmed.

supernana Wed 24-Aug-11 13:41:36

Over the years, when I most needed someone to take my babies out for a stroll, help with stacks of laundry, pop to the shops for supplies, or baby sit so that my husband and I could have an evening out, I had not a single offer of help. At the time, I didn't expect it. On reflection though, it would have been a great comfort to me. Although 600 miles separate us from the newest grandchild, we consider it a privilege to assist and fuss over the wee man. At the same time, son and daughter-in-law are grateful and gracious enough to acknowledge that we make a considerable effort BUT from the moment we arrive, we ask them for instructions on how best to be useful. No way would I ever attempt to do things "my way" or feel put out if my suggestions aren't agreeable. Give and take works every time...and Mum knows