To join Gransnet and not mumsnet?

I bought a baby book when I had my first baby - My mother told me to throw it away. She reckoned each book gave different advice - much of which was rubbish ! I was trying to follow the routine the book told me to follow and was getting stressed because the baby didn't sleep at 2pm like the book said she should ! I gave up the book within 4 weeks.

I dont think I should have survived my first pregnancy - I had a fancy for prawns: breakfast, lunch and supper. These days you would not be allowed to eat such a thing. Certain cheeses are verboten as are certai meats. I know everyone wants to do the best for their baby but starting the pregnancy with worries can't be good, can it?

One of the reasons this generation of parents worries so much is probably because there is so much information available at the click of a mouse. I'm not suggesting that 'ignorance is bliss' necessarily, but when you can Google a symptom or behaviour and come up with dozens of likely reasons for it, well, no wonder they worry. I bought up my girls without a medical book or a thermometer in the house. I did worry about lots of things, but not obsessively so.
Also, dare it be said, it seems that some parenting forums indulge in 'competitive worrying', if you know what I mean.

Janthea, My daughter in law takes my Grandsons temperature EVERY day. If it is slightly raised she gives him Calpol ! I keep telling her that a raised temperature is the body's way of fighting off infection/viruses etc,.. and that its only when it gets really high ( which you can tell by touching the child's fore head) that it need intervention to bring it down. Also,.. its only by fighting off infections etc that the immune system gets stronger !
I have seen my grandson running around quite happily whilst she is claining he is 'ill'

GillieB,... There do seem to be a lot of children with ADHD and stuff like that, I know that. Mums seem to consider their kids have that when they are just boisterous and they cannot manage them

When my first daughter was pregnant, I was amazed at the things she wouldn't eat. I remember eating those things and both my daughters were perfect (I would say that, wouldn't I) Now they both have children, I sometimes have to bite my tongue about methods and ideas that are prevalent today. It's even more common on Mumsnet. maxgran You are right, they should chill out and not worry so much. My elder daughter obsessively checks her sons' temperatures when they have a slight fever. I keep saying 'don't worry, it's nothing' or 'they'll be fine' Apparently 'they'll be fine' is what I always say - according to them!

maxgran - i think the other thing which really surprises me about Mumsnet is how many parents have disabled children or children with SEN. I have been thinking about when my two were children and I think I can remember coming across just two children who had problems. One boy had behavioral problems and one had cystic fibrosis. Has there really been such a huge increase in the number of children with SEN? Or is it to do with diagnosis (ie we just had to get on with things all those years ago), I really don't know. I wonder if any research has been done into this? I am not being nasty here, you understand, just curious.

Yes GillieB - I know what you mean. The Mums on there seem to get stressed about 'upsetting' their children and say things about their child like 'He WON'T do this or that,.. NOTHING works'
If you suggest that THEY need to change what they are doing and that perhaps they are giving mixed messages to the child,.. they get very angry. I think sometimes they prefer to think they do have a monster and not a child ;-)

maxgran - I so agree with what you said. As a proud new grandmother I cannot believe how things have changed - and the worrying .... (shuddering emoticon). To be honest, I am not sure whether the attention is detail these days is healthy. We all still wanted to do the best for our children and, yes, I can remember checking to see if my first born was actually breathing, but I think we must have enjoyed our children more as we were so much more relaxed in general (although probably not in particular).

I find Mumsnet a bit scary too !! Many of the mums are really defensive and they worry more than is healthy ! I can't remember being so obsessed with whether I was doing things right or not with my own children,..I just blindly got on with it. There seems to have been a lot of 'rules' invented since my two were little !

I always want to suggest some of them 'chill out' !! ;-)

I lurk on Mumsnet, but find that Gransnet is much more friendly. Mumsnet is SCARY!!!!!

mumontherun there are few of us do some lurking over in Mumsnet, your very welcome to pop over anytime you fancy.

Hello mumontherun. We're all mums too. Except for the grandads.

Don't forget Gransnet has Granddads as well, one up on Mumsnet there.