or is it just the heat getting to me

Annakist - I really hope you feel better after getting it off your chest and I'm sure the glass of wine helped you to unwind. May I come at the 'builders' problem from a different angle? My DD and family are having an extension built to extend the kitchen and provide new rooms for the two babies. She is very frustrated because the roofer has let them down - thereby delaying the work of the joiner, electrician, plumber etc. The problem isn't dust and noise - it's simply that there's been no progress for several weeks. She feels bad that the scaffolding is still there and nothing is happening and has explained this to her neighbours who are very sympathetic. Maybe, like them, you'll find it easy to make friends with the new baby as well as your new neighbours. This problem, with luck, is short-term not only for my daughter but for you too and I hope that in the longer term you will form a happy new relationship with the family next door.

ElseG, I posted before I saw your reply. The work was due to be finished in September (new baby due early October), but from conversations with the new neighbours, they're planning to live with parents for a while, as it won't be ready. I've got them to agree to the windows being cleaned, inside and out, and next time I see them I think I'll mention the dirt as well. To be fair, they have been reasonable, and always ask if everything is OK when they are here.

I've got my own builders on stand-by, as my house needs painting, but they can't/won't start until all the dirt from next door is finished. Of course, autumn is best for that job anyway.

Feels good to have got it off my chest, and yes, I was ready to kill!

Thanks GA, that's very helpful. I did rather think I was being unreasonable. I live on my own, which I love, but at times like this I do need a sane voice to get me back on track.The new neighbours seem very pleasant (not moved in yet, well they couldn't, the back of the house has been removed), and I try to think how I'd like my daughters' neighbours to react if they were having major works done.

In fact, the builders packed up and left shortly after I'd spoken to them, so maybe they also were fed up with the dirt and the noise, and glad of an excuse to stop.

I do have plans for tomorrow and Friday, but had thought (especially because of the heat) that I'd have a quiet day at home today, catching up on the very boring admin.

I've just spent a happy hour in the garden, cutting things back, which has been therapeutic. I now think it's time to open a nice bottle of red and to think about dinner.

It probably is the heat Annakist and I know in my heart that grannyactivist is right, but in your place I should have been tearing my hair out and ready to kill. Your on the fourth month now, it's about time they were able to tell you when the torment will be over, they could also offer to clean your house by way of compensation, after all you are getting all of the misery and none of the improvements. Improved communication from your neighbours would not go amiss.

I called the police once when neighbours held a very noisy party and it was going on (loudspeakers in the garden facing ours)at 3am. I was due to drive to Exeter that day but cancelled out because my lack of sleep made me dangerous on the roads. Needless to say nothing was done.

I hope things improve for you very soon.

Hello Annakist, I feel sorry for your situation; the weather is hot and you're obviously suffering, BUT - yes, I'm afraid I do think you're being unreasonable. I'm sure the neighbours are appreciative of how difficult it is for you, but I expect they also just want to get the job done as quickly as possible. Major renovation work is stressful for everyone and it would be a shame if you fell out with your neighbours over something that really can't be helped. Perhaps if you asked them to keep you informed when particularly noisy work is going to be done, you might be able to plan accordingly. When I was in your situation I took myself off to the library or to visit friends. My neighbours agreed not to work on noisy jobs after an agreed time, so that I always knew when the work would finish and I could relax. From time to time I was invited in to observe the progress and could mention 'in passing' one or two things that were problematic.