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Loss of a family member

(7 Posts)
Annika Tue 09-Aug-11 23:06:59

I had news today that my half sister has passed away. She was an an alcholic and because of that. her marrage ended, her two children would have nothing to do with her and she never got to meet her grandchildren . She made my mothers life hell and because of that mum also turned away from her, they never spoke after that and mum died a very sad woman.
It was the drink that was to take her life but as of yet I have felt no sorrow for her death. I do feel so very sad of the life she made for herself she could not have been happy , is it wrong to feel like this

crimson Tue 09-Aug-11 23:19:52

You won't feel sorrow for her death, because you lost her a long time ago. If there should be a feeling of sadness it should be for the loss of the life she didn't have because of her addiction. And sadness for the pain she caused others, especially your mum. Not wrong at all to feel how you do; better than pretending to feel something that you don't.

Annika Tue 09-Aug-11 23:36:06

Thankyou crimson that has helped me

bunic Wed 10-Aug-11 11:25:39

Annika,remember any good points about her &forget the rest if possible.

jackyann Wed 10-Aug-11 12:12:57

I would add, just be prepared for the odd moment of sorrow to hit you when you're not expecting it. Possibly something that reminds you of any good memories (not clear if you have any) or feelings about your neices / nephews; maybe even memories of your mum's feelings.

It may or may not,I certainly wouldn't spend any more time worrying about it.

JessM Wed 10-Aug-11 14:04:17

When my step father died I just shrugged. He was a bully. Some years later I decided to forgive him even though my sister has been affected all her life by his unkindness.

Jacey Wed 10-Aug-11 18:12:53

You've been given some good advice here ...especially from Crimson and Jackyann.
Stop beating yourself up about something you never had any control over.