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Bad Language!

(13 Posts)
Anne58 Sat 13-Aug-11 20:20:25

I am somewhat horrified to even be posting this. My grandson (who will be 3 on 31st October, yes, Halloween!) has a current favourite phrase, which is "F**k off"
I don't see him very often, but when I phoned last night to speak to DS and DIL, DIL asked him if he would like to speak to Nanny, the first short conversation was fairly normal, then after DIL and I had had a further chat, she asked him if he would like to speak again, at which point he came to phone and said the aforementioned phrase. Twice.

She said that the health visitor had told her to ignore it, but surely he should be told that it is not ok? I appreciate that if things are said to get a reaction, then NOT reacting is the way to go, but in this case wouldn't a "We do NOT say that!" be appropriate?

pompa Sat 13-Aug-11 20:55:54

Many older Gransnetters will be very familiar with my feelings on this subject. This sort of language has become so common place, it is no surprise that our little ones pick it up. Sad reflection on today's standards (in my opinion). 'm sure that ignoring it is by far the best way.

goldengirl Sat 13-Aug-11 21:01:22

My response to words I don't ;ike or consider unacceptable is to say so and, if it's the answer to a question I'm waiting for, I'll ask the question again. It it's a passing comment whilst we're playing then I'll say 'I don't like that' and carry on with the game. I feel they have to learn what is acceptable to you. I think that just ignoring it can be confusing.

Joan Sat 13-Aug-11 23:41:22

I am just incapable of ignoring it from children. They need to know that it is not OK. If they continue, then some sort of negative reaction is needed, such as terminating the conversation. There is no need to rant and carry on - just quiet rejection, imho.

glammanana Sat 13-Aug-11 23:52:46

The horrible truth is that the poor child is hearing this on a daily basis
when he is out and about with his parents,in shop's, play area's,in fact
anywhere now it is used as everyday language,and it is a very sorry state
of affair's,I've alway's said language like that show's a very poor command of
spoken English.
That said I think at 3yrs he will understand if you say it is not nice to use
and people do not like it,after that ignore him and not respond to any
conversation he has if this type of language is used.And don't let him see that it upsets you as he may play on it,I have 5 DGSs and I know every trick in the book.

harrigran Sun 14-Aug-11 00:02:28

Reverse psychology, you may say any word as long as you do not under any circumstances say the word.... and you pick the word. A child told not to use a word will relish articulating it, once the forbidden word is introduced the rude one will be forgotten, hopefully grin

supernana Sun 14-Aug-11 13:03:05

Please, don't get me started...! angry

Liz08 Sun 14-Aug-11 13:55:30

Thirty odd years ago when my son was about 6 he thought that 'Beefburger' was a rude word, so I just let him carry on thinking that, but ignored it as though it was rude.
Don't know what I would have done if he had actually been swearing though!

Elegran Sun 14-Aug-11 14:42:18

Try asking whether he knows any other words, that one is getting a bit boring. Suggest something that sounds strong but is innocuous, then if he takes to using it ad nauseam he will feel he is being a bit daring, but won't shock anyone (including you)

riclorian Sun 14-Aug-11 18:54:37

At 3yrs I would ignore it , at 5yrs I would explain that that is not a nice word and that you will not answer if he continues to use it.Children don't like to be ignored for very long .On a lighter note my son at about 3yrs lost his temper with me ( I can't remember what about ) and spat out the words 'ohhhhh---- Raquel Welch !! ' This became a family swear word or rather words for years !! back to the original thread I think Elegrans suggestion is a good one .

Anne58 Sun 14-Aug-11 19:21:03

Thanks all, and I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one who thinks "ignore it" is NOT the answer!

susiecb Mon 15-Aug-11 11:36:17

I wouldnt ignore it I would stamp on it straight away apart from the language the attitude is abysmal. Why anyone listens to HVs is beyond me and I've worked with loads of them. At my grandsons state primary (he's 7 ) on a large housing estate which has lots of social problems bad language and bad attitude is not tolerated- a warning is given for the first offence then its off the the headteachers office for a talking to and deduction of merit points and priveledges if it carries on. Works like a charm.

I think we have a problem with far too much bad language on mainstream TV and i'm not a prude or old fashioned I just think we have a rich and diverse language where you can make your feelings known without offending anyone. yes I am guilty of the odd swear word myself but I know its wrong and I apologise and its usually confined to my own house.

Joan Mon 15-Aug-11 12:01:55

We all, well most of us, swear when something bad happens suddenly. This is normal.

I think most of us object to swearing in normal discourse, especially when small children do it. It isn't cute, and it isn't OK. And I agree we could do without in on the telly.

I think adults who sprinkle the eff word throughout their speech, do it to gain thinking time, and to avoid having to come up with appropriate adjectives. Then their children copy them.