I recall one who has been an ex for a very long time who would arrive home after a night at the pub, long after I was sound asleep, and drop onto the bed so that I almost bounced out of it. He would then ask if I was awake. Off came the jacket while still seated to be aimed somewhere across the room, then the shoes ditto, socks were thrown under the bed in neat little rolls. Then he would grip the front tails of the shirt and pull in opposite directions so that buttons flew where they flew or tore the shirt. He would then stand, step out of the trousers and dive into bed with a lot of snorting noises and shuffling around to claim most of the bed and bedding. When finally settled he would say, "I didn't turn on the light in case you were asleep".