Yes, I don't think how strict you are comes into it, unless you are restrictive, which is quite a different thing.
When my two were small, the "fashion" seemed to be revolving your life around the child. I didn't like that idea, partly because it seemed to mean letting your child run rings round you. One of my friends did that, and her children were not particularly nice to have around.
Now a lot of parents seem to mistake being "child-centred" for giving a child all her/his own way. But surely being child-centred means thinking of the child's long-term as well as short-term interests?
What I hate now, though, is being undermined by the parent. My elder daughter has the view that if a responsible adult with caring responsibilities disciplines a child, then that should be supported. She has often said that she likes my approach to discipline, but also she regards bringing up her daughter and son as a family not personal responsibility.
My younger daughter has the idea that as she is the mother, she should know best, and hence quite often undermines my attempts to get reasonable behaviour out of her younger son (the elder one is much easier, anyway). Then, of course, the whole matter becomes worst, the little boy enjoys playing gran off against mummy, and my daughter thinks that she has been vindicated in her belief that she knows best. I know she is wrong, because grandson 2 behaves much better when he is in my charge, but there is no way I could tell her that.
sazz1 Thu 25-Aug-11 22:45:21
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